RSS

Tag Archives: resentment

Below the Surface

Is Where Negativity Finds a Way In

Your experiences are meant to teach not trap and when you are unable to find the wisdom within them you prevent yourself from the growth meant to take you to the next level of your life’s journey.unforgiveness

If you are unable to even think of an experience, let alone talk about it without feeling re-affected because the hurt or disappointment from it was so significant then you haven’t allowed yourself to fully feel, grieve and let it go.

It’s very important to allow things to process out of your system, not just physically but mentally and spiritually too. All experiences have a direct effect on all three states of your well-being and if allowed can fester and grow resentment, bitterness, grudges and unforgiveness.

Feel the Pain:  Experiences that have deeply hurt your feelings have to be acknowledged, you can’t just push them aside, focus your attention elsewhere and will them to go away. They re-surface again and again in your life through similar cycles and patterns and eventually you come to a point where you are forced to deal with them. The question is are you finally going to? Or are you going to push them down deeper?

Happiness, peace of mind and balance will always elude you if you continually resist the Universe’s message.

Grieve the Loss:  It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve the loss that you feel from any experience, there is always some level of expectation in any exchange and when it’s not met resentment can occur. It’s important to acknowledge those thoughts and know that they are not wrong and are a natural result. You are allowed to feel how you feel from any experience.

Let Go:  Any Loss is loss.  Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel the pain and grieve the loss you’ll find that letting go is the easiest part of the process. It allows the weight of resentment, bitterness, grudges and/or unforgiveness that you’ve carried around to be lifted from where they do not belong. It’s a bigger burden than you realize and one that will make you feel a whole lot lighter, less cluttered and overwhelmed within your mind.

releasing a grudge

Regardless of how much pain was caused from an experience you cannot allow it change you so much that it negatively affects any area of your life. When you choose not to forgive, you are also choosing not to let go and by doing that you are allowing the experience to still own an aspect of your life.

Do you really want to let a negative experience interrupt your life daily, weekly or monthly, at all? When you can’t find peace with something that’s what it does, it causes a rift in your soul, that rift can affect all your relationships, is that fair to you or to them? If you think about it the negative experience is being allowed to not only continue to hurt you but to now hurt others through you, even if you don’t mean to.

The rift in your soul can cause you to feel unbalanced and that is your spirit trying to find a way to be heard, validated and soothed before you spin yourself into an unmanageable state. These signs manifest through your physical, mental and spiritual well-being and can cause and/or mimic serious afflictions within. There is a significant amount of stress you place on yourself through resistance and if you knew all of this from the beginning you would likely choose to feel, grieve and let go but your emotions are the wild card that you can’t control.

I’ve learned that even though my emotions are strong, my spirit is stronger and the voice of reason thankfully is within my spirit, not my emotions even if they do send me off on a tangent every once in a while.

Recognizing and acknowledging my emotions during times of adversity is important and having a really excellent friend to be the additional voice of reason next to your spirits’ is a blessing. At the very least an open ear of someone you can trust to help provide you with a healthy perspective can help you to help yourself find a way into the process and eventually toward letting go.

Even if you don’t reconnect again it’s important to let an experience run its course through all the phases or you risk losing the whole purpose of it. You’ve already endured the worst why stop short of the finish line when your blessing for making it through all adversity is the wisdom that comes at the end.repeating relationship patterns

When starting anew it is important to leave the past in the past and face new experiences with an open heart and mind. It’s wise to remember past experiences and retain the lessons and wisdom you have gained but placing and/or comparing a new experience with a previous one carries overtones that have no place or reason.

New experiences also bring new people, new behaviours and new circumstances and none are comparable to anything from the past, they are new, treat them as such and bring your wisdom!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 24, 2014 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Transitions of Life!

Without Change We Wouldn’t have Growth

I’m watching another installment of Oprah’s Lifeclass with Pastor Rick Warren, author of “The Purpose Driven Life” and one thing in particular he has just talked about is something that sparked my interest immediately:

change is a process

“The Transitions of Life”

“There is no growth without change, no change without loss and no loss without pain and that is Grief.”  “Fear and Resentment are the things that will hold you back.”

Pastor Rick Warren’s definition of the difference between success and significance:

–          “Everybody’s life is driven by something. 

–          There are a lot of successful people whose lives are driven by guilt. 

–          There are a lot of successful people who are driven by the approval of others.”

“If you live for the approval of others, you will die by their rejection”

“The two biggest barriers to you fulfilling your purpose in life is envy and people pleasing. 

–          Envy is, I must be like you to be happy. 

–          People pleasing is, I must be liked by you to be happy.

Those two things will cause you to miss God’s purpose for your life! 

You have to live for an audience of one!

I found that these statements are very powerful because our emotions, like fear and resentment can become so ingrained within us that it can start to control us whether we want it to or not.  These two emotions especially can keep you from experiencing and progressing through your life as you are meant to.

Fear can be paralyzing, it can prevent you from taking the risks that may improve your life in more ways than you can imagine and can cause you to doubt your own capabilities.

Resentment can be imprisoning because it can cause you to replay, over and over, events in your life that were damaging to your emotional state of being and by continuing to hold on to that resentment you will likely feel the hurt of those memories often, possibly even daily.

Loss, whether someone has passed on or a relationship has run its course transitions us to grief and during that grief process is the opportunity for healing.  All things change even if we don’t think we want them to but every ending is the beginning of something new.

These transitions, once recognized for their true meaning, can change your entire life if you let it, especially when you allow yourself to have faith that “all things will work out as they should, and when they should”.  I believe in that statement and even when things feel unknown I am very confident that at some point it will all make sense and usually it does!  I don’t challenge the timing of when that light bulb will go on and I’ll figure out how all those pieces of the puzzle fit together, I would drive myself crazy if I did that!  I just know that whatever the outcome is it will be what is best for me and that it’s all part of the bigger picture of my life that I will eventually come into.

When looking back 5 or even 10 years I couldn’t have possibly guessed that I would be where I am at now and I have such anticipation for what the next chapters of my life hold.  I’m excited and hopeful for a future that is fitting of the transitions that I’ve had in my life so far.  Of course I have ideas and dreams of where I want my future to go but so far everything I’ve thought had in my sights has turned into something completely different and better so I know that whatever direction is mapped out for my future is one that I will fit into comfortably.

faith in god, faith in timing

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 10, 2013 in Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,