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Tag Archives: life’s lessons

Bankruptcy of the Soul

Why We Do the Things We Do

It is during the times when your soul is feeling bankrupt that you may make uncharacteristic errors in judgement and behaviour.

Filling a void with more emptiness when you don’t know where the disconnection in your soul is puts you out of sync. You can waste a lot of time searching for the answer and it’s quite likely that you’re looking in the wrong areas of life, provided that you’ve made this realization and you’re looking at all.

When we are out of sync we distract ourselves with other things and fill the void in the area that we believe is incomplete when in actuality it’s an entirely different area so we end up cycling through the same life occurrences over and over until we finally see the light. Hopefully the over and over part doesn’t occur too many times, my experience with this cycle has been that it starts with a thought that something is off, then becomes a whisper that gets louder and louder and then you get thumped when you get too far off path.the stone after it's thrown

If your life occurrences are connected to loved ones it can get really damaging if you get to the point of getting thumped because you can’t turn back time.

When you are unaware that you are bankrupt in one or some areas of your emotions you may be constantly making bad choices and wondering why you keep running up against so much resistance. Or you could be giving away all of your emotions to others and depleting yourself because you believe your cup is already full not realizing that it isn’t bottomless and you’re filling the wrong glass.

When you are giving and giving and giving but don’t have someone replenishing your resource you are essentially going bankrupt emotionally. Our emotions are the nurturance that feeds and replenishes the heart and soul, if those emotions become depleted there is nothing left to feed you and that is when your areas in need are easier to identify. Sometimes you need to go to your lowest point to be able to help yourself, to pick yourself back up again and it can be done!

Brokenness from the past can build walls and disruption in the present and carry through to your future. Sometimes it’s the inconvenient truth that you have to face and acknowledge that helps you step into the person you are meant to be. It takes courage to get into the down and dirty to find the truth of you, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you!

Past hurts can manifest by either acting out or retreating which are two very different actions but both usually occur as a result of some sort of inner emotional hurt. Even though acting out is outwardly damaging it is usually more for the purpose of being seen and/or heard and while it’s never a great experience for anyone at least the emotions have been released. I believe that retreating, bottling things up is more damaging to the soul because the emotions do not get released in the process that they should, they just get compiled and compiled downward.

The best process is healthy communication because it provides relief and release of the emotional hurt but you do have to feel the pain, it is the only way to effectively let things go. Even though you may believe that by carrying past hurt around with you every day that you are feeling the pain, you actually aren’t, the pain that is with you daily is the feeling of limbo because the real hurt hasn’t yet been acknowledged or resolved. Release through whatever means is imperative to your physical health, bottled up pain creates a field of negative energy inside you that will continue to grow until its nourishment is cut-off.

Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, a purpose, sometimes they are meant to stay for a lifetime and sometimes only for a season but all bring with them some sort of learning experience that is important enough to cross your path. The Universe has a way of creating the openings needed to usher those in and the endings necessary to carry them out. All are blessings, some more disguised than others, but you are given the opportunity to develop faith, awareness and insight all of which will help you to navigate your path.

everything is a miracle

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2014 in Blog

 

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Sometimes You Have to Travel a Long Road

To Go a Short Distance!

It doesn’t matter what others do, it matters what you do!

Every occurrence, circumstance or event happens for a reason and usually that reason is connected to our own higher learning. I’ve thought in the past that when someone treated me in a way that was either manipulative, disrespectful or both that they deserved eternal condemnation but that’s not for me to decide. The Universe will handle it appropriately and in the right time, I need to trust in that, step back and draw some better boundaries to ensure it doesn’t happen again. We teach others how to treat us and honestly I’ve been a little too lax in my teachings in the past. I’ve often thought that the way I treated someone would be teaching enough as to how I also wanted to be treated but their intention in life may not be in alignment with mine. Learning how to decipher their intention and find only those that are in alignment with my intention is the lesson I am still fine-tuning.

I’ve always been someone that is super motivated to get to the next level so I can find out what the level after that is and so forth. I’ve come across people who live in a negative energy but have learned how to display passion that they also want to get to the next level but the truth of it is that if they wanted to get to the next level they would be doing something, anything, to be trying to get there and the lack that seems to be stalling them in place is really their own will or desire. The issue for them is that they have become content, familiar and/or addicted to their story because it serves as a great example/reason for the obstacles that prevent them from moving forward. The problem that will continue to plague them is that they are living in a negative mindset or point of view and that prevents the Universe from bringing the positive light in so the life that they secretly hope for but believe they don’t deserve can manifest.

live your truth

Imagine if you were meant for great things, which I believe we all are, we aren’t here to suffer, we are here to build and grow our souls so they can flourish but that can’t happen if a wall of negativity is blocking it from getting through. The biggest hurdle to letting all the good things get in is tearing down that wall and embracing that which makes you feel vulnerable or scared. Every time a monumental moment occurs hesitation is always there and rightly so, all monumental moments are the cusp of some impending change that will likely alter you in every area of life, which is why they are so scary and why we hesitate. Taking a leap of faith into unknown and unfamiliar territory is unnerving to say the least but every time I’ve ever done it I’ve never been disappointed, not even once! Even if it hasn’t led me to where I thought I was going, it has led me to something better.

It may seem easier, less scary, to keep yourself safely behind the protective armor of a negative mindset because at least you’re familiar with it, no one can hurt you there because you are already in defensive/protective mode but no good can get in either. So what you block out that hurts also prevents that which is good from getting through, I ask you, what’s more hurtful?

Even though the bad stuff feels rough, hurts and sometimes feels too overwhelming to overcome, it still comes with its gifts. That which does not kill me, only makes me stronger!

The more of the tough experiences you go through the stronger you get, the more resilient you get, the more capable you are of reaching for what you want and succeeding and when you combine that with embracing all things positive you more than double the power you’ve already gained from your experiences.

Sometimes you have to travel a long road to go a short distance. Imagine what you can do when you realize how powerful you already are!

Affirmations-Will-Manifest-Your-Dreams

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2014 in Blog

 

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Protect Me Not!

I Need To Learn

Through most struggles positive change can occur but it may not if through the caring protection of another that you don’t go through the experience fully as needed.  It’s through struggle and success that we develop the tools to help us effectively deal with adversity or change and those tools help us to define who we are, what we are capable of and who we are to become.

Struggling to survive or to succeed, which are basically one in the same, are both characteristics we develop as a result of hardship and/or difficulty.  They build us into stronger people and usually help us to develop a stronger sense of respect, compassion, empathy, discretion, humility and integrity towards ourselves and others.  If you prevent someone from experiencing something, whether you are doing it out of love or not, while it is noble it may be of more harm than good because you may also be preventing them from experiencing the positive aspects that are also associated with those experiences.

For example, if you protect someone from the learning the consequences of how far they’ve pushed the boundaries you are preventing them from learning healthy limits.  Boundaries are the limits that are necessary to living a positive and productive life if one doesn’t learn that through trial and error than life ahead will likely feel like constant travel on a gravel road.

There are some experiences I’ve had that were far less than ideal and honestly I would have loved to have done without them but………if I had, I wouldn’t have learned how to make things right, how to adjust my position to accommodate and diffuse difficult change.

All lessons and experiences propel us into directions we may not have gone otherwise, if you protect someone from a learning experience you may also be preventing them from a growth experience and that will likely stunt their future potential.  Alternatively one could end up with an overdeveloped ego because they feel invincible and above consequence which would be a rather large awakening at the moment you aren’t around to deflect difficulty for them.

Another aspect to consider from not learning the healthy limits is that it may have an opposite effect and damage a one’s desire to succeed because adversity so far has been quite minimal.  It is through hardship and difficult times that the opportunity lies to further strengthen the desire to succeed.  If one doesn’t experience hardship or difficulty than their will to succeed suffers as a result, they become complacent and uninterested in doing more than what is required to get by.

You may as well be saying to them “I don’t think you can do this on your own, so I’m going to help” and in effect you’re creating a monster while lowering their self-confidence, self-worth and self-motivation all at the same time.  Chances are, after a while your own self-worth will start to diminish because the more complacent they become, the more you end up picking up the slack and feeling responsible for it.  Maybe your efforts have kept or are keeping that person from becoming the trail blazer they were meant to be, you will never know.

struggle quote

So imagine how different our world would be had we not had certain trail blazers like George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and even Noah ( he did build the Ark ).

Similar to the overbearing mother or father, you can’t prevent adversity in another person’s life because it is there to enhance them in some way and in your honest and caring efforts you are butting heads with the Universe.  I think a lot of people believe their personal karma affect is a certain way because of what they’ve done wrong but karma has more to do with the intention.  When you do something for another with positive intention it doesn’t create bad karma, I believe the adverse effect you may be suffering is the result of battling against personal destiny.  What you are experiencing is Resistance because you are going against the natural flow of the Universe.

 
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Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Blog

 

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I Wasn’t Mad at You!

I Was Mad at the Situation!

Have you ever said this to someone?  Did it have the outcome you expected?

Or:

Has someone ever said this to you?  How did it make you feel?

I’ve had this experience on the receiving end because honestly I could never say this to someone and actually think that it was ok.  The conclusion I’ve come to is that when someone says this it is because they are feeling helpless, inadequate or fearful and it seems to be a situationally based and reactive behaviour.  I believe that everyone’s feelings count but not when those feelings are used in a combative or hurtful way.

In a way this statement is an eye opener for you as to who the person really is and it reveals a lot about how they will handle any level of stress, especially if they are projecting their stress toward someone else.  It’s also a good indication of what you can expect to see in the future, similar to the theory “to see how someone deals with something give them a string of tangled christmas lights”, honestly that seems like a good theory.

We all have different levels of adversity to deal with in our lives, no one’s is more important the other’s, but if we all ran around biting each other’s heads off because we were mad about our challenges how would we ever learn to cope or gain wisdom while maintaining a level of integrity.

the problem

 

Even though I’ve heard many times that “people don’t change” or “leopards don’t change their spots” I believe that anyone can change their behaviourial lifestyle for the better, especially if it is currently working poorly for them, but the key is that they have to want to.  It’s hard work to make changes to behaviour, they are ingrained, they’ve developed from our early years and even though habits are very hard to break, they can be broken but in order to do that determination and willingness to meet that goal will be the biggest challenge.  My experience has led me to believe that anyone that makes this statement isn’t likely to change, not because they can’t but because they won’t.  They either don’t realize the effect they actually have on someone or they don’t take well to the response of hurt feelings and become defensive.

Any challenge that is difficult requires a strong and determined resolve to be successful and I’ve found that any time I attempt to do something I put my mind to there is no way I am going to allow myself to give up.  Any inkling that creeps into my mind telling me I can’t do something is not allowed to stay and that is my resolve and it works well for me.  Everyone is different though, just because my thought process works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for someone else and maybe each of us need to find some sort of adaptation that works to be successful.

It’s a big commitment to make a change like this, everyone has the ability and the opportunity but not everyone has the endurance to see it through to the end.  When you are going through something that is extremely challenging it’s a benefit to have some sort of validation from others that you are going to be successful but it’s not their validation that is the most important, it’s your own.  When you don’t get that validation it can become the reason to give up because it’s just too hard and no one’s patting you on the back yet anyway but that’s the test, the life lesson.

Life is full of challenges and how you deal, cope and adapt to those challenges is entirely your decision but I think it’s important to recognize and be aware of how those decisions may be affecting those around you that you care for.

good-bad life

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Blog

 

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Life’s Lessons!

Discovering the Silver Lining

We all have many lessons to learn throughout our lifetime and of course the lessons are different for every one of us.  No two people are alike, therefore no two lessons will be alike, there may be similarities but they are uniquely designed for each of us.  How we experience them depends on many factors, for instance below are what I believe are the factors I needed to allow myself to move forward in my life towards my purpose and passion.

1)      I had to be Open

–          If my mind and heart were not open I would not be in an available space of mind to be able to receive the signs and guidance I was given.  Not everything comes in the package we expect and sometimes we have to expand our awareness to understand.

 

2)      I had to be in Alignment ( Law of Attraction )

–          To be in alignment with the  universe and all that it has to offer I had to be in a positive state of mind.  What you think of is what you attract, if I was in a negative state of mind I would attract everything that I don’t want because those would be the dominant thoughts.

3)      I had to be Aware

–          The bigger picture is my goal and where I want to get to.  Along the way are just the daily routines and obstacles that I could not afford  let bother or impede me and keep my eye on the prize.

 

4)      I had to be Objective

–          I had to work very hard to learn to be objective when reflecting on my experiences, it can be very difficult to step outside yourself and look at a situation objectively when you are emotionally connected. 

How we perceive the signs, guidance and lessons we are given is something that is specifically hard-wired to each of us as individuals, the ultimate key is to be open within your mind and your heart and let your imagination flow.

I believe that everything that we experience is divinely connected to a higher power and that there is a master plan only we are not aware of it.  I say this because in looking back I’ve found that I needed all the experiences I’ve had up to this point to get to where I am now, without them I may not have gone in the direction I am going or it may have taken much longer than it already has.  My experiences have helped to prepare me for the future I am meant to live and I know it doesn’t stop here, there are many more experiences that I’m sure are on the horizon (good and bad) that will help elevate me to the level I need to be at to make the contribution in this world that I want to make and that I am meant to make. 

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2012 in Blog

 

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