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Protect Me Not!

I Need To Learn

Through most struggles positive change can occur but it may not if through the caring protection of another that you don’t go through the experience fully as needed.  It’s through struggle and success that we develop the tools to help us effectively deal with adversity or change and those tools help us to define who we are, what we are capable of and who we are to become.

Struggling to survive or to succeed, which are basically one in the same, are both characteristics we develop as a result of hardship and/or difficulty.  They build us into stronger people and usually help us to develop a stronger sense of respect, compassion, empathy, discretion, humility and integrity towards ourselves and others.  If you prevent someone from experiencing something, whether you are doing it out of love or not, while it is noble it may be of more harm than good because you may also be preventing them from experiencing the positive aspects that are also associated with those experiences.

For example, if you protect someone from the learning the consequences of how far they’ve pushed the boundaries you are preventing them from learning healthy limits.  Boundaries are the limits that are necessary to living a positive and productive life if one doesn’t learn that through trial and error than life ahead will likely feel like constant travel on a gravel road.

There are some experiences I’ve had that were far less than ideal and honestly I would have loved to have done without them but………if I had, I wouldn’t have learned how to make things right, how to adjust my position to accommodate and diffuse difficult change.

All lessons and experiences propel us into directions we may not have gone otherwise, if you protect someone from a learning experience you may also be preventing them from a growth experience and that will likely stunt their future potential.  Alternatively one could end up with an overdeveloped ego because they feel invincible and above consequence which would be a rather large awakening at the moment you aren’t around to deflect difficulty for them.

Another aspect to consider from not learning the healthy limits is that it may have an opposite effect and damage a one’s desire to succeed because adversity so far has been quite minimal.  It is through hardship and difficult times that the opportunity lies to further strengthen the desire to succeed.  If one doesn’t experience hardship or difficulty than their will to succeed suffers as a result, they become complacent and uninterested in doing more than what is required to get by.

You may as well be saying to them “I don’t think you can do this on your own, so I’m going to help” and in effect you’re creating a monster while lowering their self-confidence, self-worth and self-motivation all at the same time.  Chances are, after a while your own self-worth will start to diminish because the more complacent they become, the more you end up picking up the slack and feeling responsible for it.  Maybe your efforts have kept or are keeping that person from becoming the trail blazer they were meant to be, you will never know.

struggle quote

So imagine how different our world would be had we not had certain trail blazers like George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and even Noah ( he did build the Ark ).

Similar to the overbearing mother or father, you can’t prevent adversity in another person’s life because it is there to enhance them in some way and in your honest and caring efforts you are butting heads with the Universe.  I think a lot of people believe their personal karma affect is a certain way because of what they’ve done wrong but karma has more to do with the intention.  When you do something for another with positive intention it doesn’t create bad karma, I believe the adverse effect you may be suffering is the result of battling against personal destiny.  What you are experiencing is Resistance because you are going against the natural flow of the Universe.

 
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Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Tools in Life You Shouldn’t Live Without

What’s in Your Toolbox?

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  • I Turn Every Experience into an Opportunity

I know that everything in life happens for some subliminal reason and we can’t always have the foresight to venture ahead to understand it or the gratitude for the wisdom gained from the experience but I have learned to recognize when opportunity arises. 

Opportunities are actually abundant for everyone but I think many of us don’t see them because they haven’t appeared as grandiose as built them up in our minds.  Even the smallest of opportunity is still an opportunity and when you take advantage of the small ones what follows suit is the big ones too because opportunity knows no boundaries and once you open that door you start to realize, recognize and become aware of how many there are around you.  It’s not a matter of you changing, it’s just a matter of adjusting your vision, similar to wearing 3D glasses where the objects pop out at you, you will be able to see your opportunities in a heightened state of awareness that makes them stand out before you.

  • I Am Worth Loving

Knowing your worth and learning not to de-value yourself based on an opinion that isn’t your own is an inner dialogue you need to develop.  Everyone has an opinion but if they haven’t walked in your shoes for any length of time then there is absolutely no foundation for that opinion to stand on.  I’ve found that people with strong opinions usually aren’t very happy, I believe that is because they are so busy looking into someone else’s life that they aren’t living their own and by doing so they are depriving themselves of finding happiness and enjoying their life the way they were meant to.  We are all worth loving, we are all worth finding happiness and we are all worth enjoying our lives, no matter what!

  • I Forgive Myself

Forgiveness is a major part of your own evolvement, without it you are literally held within a trap of your own making that keeps you in a state of sadness, hurt, discontent, anger, and so many more.  Forgiveness is essential for moving past an experience that has caused negative disruption, disruption that has been awful that it has halted you in your tracks and kept you unable to look ahead.  On one of my previous posts (Evolving Means Change) I put in a quote from Oprah Winfrey about forgiveness that I believe are words to live by as well as words to inspire you to forgive so you can enjoy your best life.

  • I Am in the Process of Positive Change

I’ve always lived within the positive mindset, outlook and attitude and I believe that maintaining and feeding those states of mind have made what has become a process not feel like one.  It has become effortless so much so that I don’t have to work very hard at staying positive.  Of course everyone has an off day, I do too, like you got up on the wrong side of the bed and everything bugs you but I don’t think that has as much to do with my positive outlook as it does with just being burnt out.  My positivity never waivers, I have high hopes and aspirations for all areas of my life and I know that when the time is right all things fall into place.  The Divine knows all, I’ve had my moment of doubting it when something didn’t happen when I expected but I found that when it happened later when I didn’t, it was better timing.  The Universe just knows and part of positivity is having faith in that but I am always trying to create a better way and a better process for positive change.  That’s the whole point of positivity, it inspires you continually improve, not because you need it but because you love it.

  • I Open New Doors to Life

I am continually looking for new doors to open and as much as I get scared at first, that’s my personal indication that I’m opening the right one.  I think you have to scare yourself sometimes, really challenge yourself, push yourself forward even if you’re terrified because pushing past that fear enhances your own personal courage, builds self-confidence and sometimes it opens up an opportunity, one you might not have otherwise discovered.  The more new doors you open the more your personal power grows because with each step into new territory you blaze trails for yourself and for others.  Imagine how much inspiration one person can provide to another just by leading the way and vice versa, you may follow another’s path because they’ve inspired you to do so.  Inspiration comes from a place of purity, a place of universal love and cannot be touched or tainted by negativity.  Open as many new doors as you can find and I can assure you, your path will be found!

  • The Past is Over

There is a reason why it is called the past, and that is because you can’t go back and change it regardless of whether or not you think you will find some sort relief from the negativity that has transpired forth as a result of the experience.  Chances are even if you were able to go back and hit the delete button to undo what was done, sure it may have changed where you are now but you would also lose the greater gifts that came with it.  Don’t disparage the gifts, what you learn from lessons can help you in more experiences to come than you realize.  I’ve learned how to adapt and handle situations that in my teen years wouldn’t have even entered my mind.  I’ve learned how to trust (especially in the universe) that all things happen when they are meant to and there’s no point in me trying to rush the universe if it decides it’s going to move at a glacial pace, at least that’s how I view it when I get impatient, trust me my patience is still a work in progress.  Without these lessons that are all from my past, I may not be as mindfully developed, and the mindful development is a work in progress as well and that is because if I don’t keep challenging myself, what am I doing then? 

Keep the past where it belongs, allow yourself the presence and peace of mind to enjoy the present and even though your future is not yet written, look forward to living it, I know I do!

MarkTwainExplore quote

 
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Posted by on January 23, 2014 in Blog

 

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Is it really a Failure, Mistake or Divine Intervention?

All Experiences Carry Wisdom

Have you wondered why you are where you are, wondered why certain people and experiences enter or leave your life?  Every experience carries wisdom with it and the bigger question to ask is at the end of every experience; do you recognize the experience has played out and do you finally see the wisdom?

everything happens for a reasonFor the longest time I was very hard on myself when it came to any sort of mistake or failure, I never adjusted well, nor did I see the wisdom at the end.  In the last 10 years I’ve started to see things from a different perspective that has led me to question whether what I’ve viewed as failures in the past are not actually that of divine intervention or destiny.  I’m a huge believer in “Everything happens for a Reason” and that would mean that mistakes (big or small) aren’t actually failures but rather part of the grand design that is in place to help us progress in the direction we are meant to go so we can live the life we are meant to live.

One thing I’ve come to recognize is that the people I admire, look up to and respect can feel like lifelines at times because we can relate to each other in a very specific and identifiable way.  Their energy is not only magnetic but familiar and comforting and there are times when that is just what I need to balance me out.

I listed some of my favorite quotes from Oprah’s Master Class, there is so much to we can learn from others experiences and lives, whether they are successful at times or not.  It’s learning from the experience; that is the success.

Honestly when I was younger I didn’t have enough confidence or comfort level in my own skin to maintain my beliefs.  I knew I believed in some of the quotes below, although some of them I wasn’t even aware of because I just didn’t have enough life experience but those I believed and wanted to stand strong on fell to the wayside.  I needed to develop inner strength and learn how to set boundaries, and I wouldn’t have learned how to without the life experiences I’ve had so far.

Oprah Winfrey:  (Every Life Has a Story) – Everybody has a story and there is something to be learned from every experience.

Jay-Z:  (Be True to Yourself) – Knowing who you are, that’s the foundation of everything great.

Simon Cowell:  (It’s Better just to be Honest) – Emotion is absolutely key to this, trust your gut instinct.

Condoleezza Rice:  (Faith Helps) – You can’t plan every step in Life.

Maya Angelou:  (You Have to Live your Teaching) – When you learn teach, at our best we are all teachers.

Sydney Poitier:  (Instinct Guides Us) – Instinct is a force that lives within us and we call upon it when we need to.

Diane Sawyer:  (Be Curious) – Wake up curious and wake up determined to try to get an answer.

Lorne Michaels:  (Art is Like Life) – There’s always just ahead of us the chance for redemption.

Oprah Winfrey: (Learn from Every Experience) – Use your Life as a Class.

I believe that as long as you are being true to who you really are inside and not who you present to the world then you will have true happiness, inner peace and a blessed life.

what lies behind us

 
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Posted by on January 8, 2013 in Blog

 

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