It’s not what you do, It’s how you do it!

This is a topic that came to me late in the day today and not for any specific reason but I started thinking about my place in this world and what I wanted it to be.  I know I want to make a difference, have a positive impact and hopefully leave this world with at least one, but hopefully a few more than that, lives changed for the better.

I believe that Integrity is at the top of the rung, if your word doesn’t mean anything you’re not going to have many people that trust you with important parts of their life. For me it’s the important parts of mine and other’s lives that connect us to each other.  Everything you do has either a direct or indirect effect on those around you and I find it to be an important factor in everything that I do.  It also shows your consideration and respect for those people and there’s no greater gift you can give them than that.  I’ve found that my deepest connections with others have been rooted in either one or many shared experiences.  It’s these shared experiences that validate both our thoughts and feelings on any given situation and help us to understand that we are not alone or off the wall in how something or someone affects us.

Remember this:  People are only as important to you as you make them feel.

Our feelings and emotions drive everything we do and when we feel hurt or betrayed emotionally then our reaction can be to either disconnect or shut down all together from that source of hurt.  As well it can emotionally stunt us from any growth we are meant to experience.  Our feelings and emotions are very strong and unless you are able to tune them out or control them ( I’m not ) then you either have to deal and move on or you become stuck.

There is no doubt in my mind that becoming stuck is not an option for me.  I choose to deal and move on, not only for myself but so that I don’t pass on this negativity to anyone else in my life.

My favorite method is to write it out and I want to encourage anyone and everyone out there to try this, it’s been extremely successful and healing for me.  I’m sure anyone who’s ever written an email or letter to someone has written it and then re-read it, made adjustments, read it again, maybe make another adjustment and then send.  I think the reason we make the adjustments is so something doesn’t come off sounding bad ( that’s our consideration and respect ).

Imagine this, you write out your letter to someone, something or even an organization giving it your all and getting everything off your chest, leaving nothing unsaid.

Don’t actually send it! 

Every time and I do mean every time I’ve done this I’ve felt better after and it’s because I got to put in my 2 cents about how something made me feel and once I’ve done that it’s released from weighing on my mind and emotions.  This is my therapy, my release and my way to keep myself sane and prevent that negative cycle from continuing.  It’s like my own little personal assertiveness training and it helps me to draw my line in the sand without losing my own dignity or integrity.

The main thing I’ve got that is entirely in my control is my Integrity – my respect, my consideration, my compassion and my empathy for not only myself but for others.  My word definitely means something!