Some Patterns are Hard to Break
The most undesired moment of clarity comes when you realize that you have fallen into the same dynamic again within any or all of your relationships and trying to determine the root cause of this continual pattern can be a frustrating journey.
One thing for sure is that just because you find yourself in this predicament doesn’t mean you require a therapist to find your way out (unless you want to of course), it just means your awareness is expanding and that expansion is whispering to you to discover a better way of life, one that includes inner peace and contentment.
I believe there are a couple key points to consider when starting down this particular road of self-discovery:
1) From the time we are young we begin to develop habits and preferences based on our environment, our experiences and our desires.
In my opinion, our environment in our early years plays the most significant part in our development and future choices which I’ve discussed more in depth in one of my previous blogs “Some Emotions Can Run Deep”.
2) What is modelled to us through the relationships during our formative years, regardless of whether or not they are healthy, becomes familiar and that familiarity can end up being the stepping stone that leads us down a similar path and into a similar relationship dynamic.
Obviously no one chooses to deliberately become involved in relationships that can be disheartening or damaging but sometimes that can’t be avoided, familiarity (whether healthy or not) can be the trigger that draws you in.
The only way to keep a pattern like this from repeating is to find its root cause and learn what the triggers are that lead your emotions to pull you in that direction.
It may be that whatever you think the root cause is isn’t actually the root cause at all. My own discoveries were so simple in theory that it almost seemed ridiculous to me, I figured it had to be something obscure and so deeply ingrained that I would have had to peel back layers and layers of life to figure it out but that wasn’t the case at all. My realization was that I was I compromising one need to fill another but that these two needs were never connected in any way so it was impossible for my way of dealing with this pattern to ever work. Even though this discovery seems like a “no brainer” to me now, it wasn’t then and that’s because my awareness had not yet developed enough to allow me that insight.
When you feel imprisoned by your pattern your world can seem bleak and restrictive so the earlier these inklings of insight and awareness start the earlier your life can begin to evolve towards a more positive, productive and healthier state of mind. Our awareness is continually expanding and with every year that passes we have the opportunity to gain further insight and personal development.
Gratitude is a good place to start, there are so many aspects of our lives that could be compromised worse than they actually are. If you were to stand in a circle with a group of people and everyone put their troubles in the middle I think you might find that after viewing their troubles you would be glad to pick your own back up, walk away and have gratitude that things could have been much worse.
Shelley Hallmark 