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In Your Life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime

Determining Who’s What and Why

Some people aren’t meant to be with you throughout your entire journey and sometimes there is no other option but to let them go.  It’s difficult letting go when there is a part of you that feels attached or obligated, for whatever reason, which then causes a feeling of guilt or that you are  giving up.  When they become too toxic to your environment you really have no choice and ultimately it’s necessary for your own well-being, especially if they are draining your good energy and feeding you negativity in return.

Reason:  Some are meant to challenge us in ways we could have never thought imaginable or necessary but ultimately there is something significant to learn but it is a quick visit and once the challenge is met and the lesson is learned it’s then time to move on.

Season:  Some are meant to teach us many lessons to help us learn about aspects of ourselves that we might not have realized without their specific involvement and to help us grow to the next few levels.  These people are more difficult to let go of because they have become a significant part of our lives and have helped us to transition through a phase that has created personal growth.  Any time I have experienced personal growth there is usually someone that has been a significant helper for me through this and I ultimately develop a unique connection to them.

Lifetime:  The Lifetimer’s are those that are there to support, love and walk with us through the difficult, sad and happy times, something that is a shared experience between  both.  There is neither a giver nor a taker in this relationship but rather an equal and positive exchange.

I’ve had the experiences of all of these and I’ve found that the “Seasons” are definitely the hardest to let go of because there is a part of them that will always be with me, that I will remember, but in trying to hang on when it’s time to move on could make the goodbye uglier than it needs to be. 

There are those that can become so important to us that we don’t want to let go and sometimes it’s not letting go of them but rather letting them be. 

I believe that sometimes the Seasons could be intended to come back into our lives for another phase and it’s the previous connection that creates this alignment.  Maybe they needed something that couldn’t be achieved by being connected to you at this time and after a period they come back and create a stronger connection then you thought possible or expected because even though they were your season, you may not have been meant to be theirs.  Although if the goodbye was more harmful then it needed to be at the time then the opportunity for the next phase or perhaps now becoming a Lifetimer could be altered forever.

I have some really fabulous Lifetimer’s that I don’t think I could express my gratitude for strongly enough of how lucky I am to have them walk with me and allow me to walk with them.

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2012 in Blog

 

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Don’t Lose the Lesson!

Carry the wisdom forward

I’ve heard the phrase “forgive and forget” many times but I’ve learned that while it is essential to forgive, it is just as essential not to forget, carry the wisdom forward.  The most significant aspect of the events I’ve experienced so far, whether desirable or not, were the lessons I learned and the personal growth I gained.  Without some of my lessons it may have taken me longer to realize that I needed to develop a stronger set of boundaries, boundaries that should have already been in place.  If I was to forget my lessons I would lose along with them, the wisdom and experience I need to prepare me for the future I am meant to live.  I really believe that “everything happens for a reason” and if I am able to step outside these events, even for a moment, then I am able to provide myself with the necessary insight and awareness that directs me to the bigger picture.

When I have things going on in my life that are upsetting or disappointing I always find that if I were to look around there are others that have much more difficult situations to deal with.  It’s at this time that I realize how insignificant my issues are in comparison and that I need to remain thankful for the guidance and greater knowledge that these situations offer.  I’m not saying the problem or issue doesn’t matter but it does help me to scale down the severity, especially when I am too emotionally connected to a situation to be objective.

We have one of two options when faced with adversity:

1)      Use it as a positive force, a catalyst, to change and create a better future

2)      Use it as a negative force, an excuse, to hold you back from having the future you desire

I’ve read and heard so many stories of people that have come from terrible upbringings and backgrounds and have used that pain and sadness as a force of positive strength and determination to change their circumstances and create a happier and more fulfilling life.

It’s amazing how much we can learn from others if we just pay attention, and care to listen.  We are all here to learn and progress and there are so many people that have been and still are in my life that have taught me some very significant and invaluable aspects.  I don’t believe that any one person or event in my life has been a coincidence.  I believe that we all come here with a purpose and passion and those involved in our lives are here to help us along that path, our conscious is not aware of it but our inner voice is.  Our inner voice is always whispering to us and I can honestly say that since I started paying attention to my inner voice I’ve had great things occur and discovered a deeper sense of happiness.

For me experience has been a good teacher, mistakes have been an even greater teacher.  Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, but without the mistakes I’ve made I wouldn’t have gained the knowledge or insight on how to navigate and discover my life’s purpose.  Through making mistakes I’ve developed a stronger sense of inner strength, depth of character, a clearer definition of the future I want to manifest and the importance of carrying the wisdom forward.

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2012 in Blog

 

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Enhancing the Faith

Another Level of Contentment

I thought that I had found my fullest form of Contentment when  I finished writing my 1st book Finding the Balance but as it turns out I had only just stepped onto that path.  When I finished it I felt a certain level of contentment, the key word here is level, something I have come to understand and recognize after some time has passed.  When it comes to personal growth the period of time it takes is different for everyone because of our individuality and because we all learn in our own time.  What I should have considered is that with all areas of learning there are many levels and varying degrees and I had only thought I reached full contentment because I felt more empowered, engaged and aware.  Little did I know that there was much more, much better to come.

I now know that what I had experienced then was a level of contentment because I now feel that I have moved to another level.  The only way I can describe this level is – it feels to be an unshakable faith in myself, where I am, where I’m going and that all things will occur as they are destined to along the way.  This level of contentment reinforces my belief that everything (positive and negative) happens for a reason.  Both are meant to teach and bring us to a higher level of ourselves and without them we may remain stuck in a never ending cycle of frustration and confusion. 

If I allow the little things to bother me along the way I am allowing my ego to inhibit my own growth cycle and that is not something I want to do in any way.  Of course there are still times when something I did not expect occurs but my reactive behavior to these unexpected occurrences is starting to adopt a more negotiable mind and I am approaching things from a far more relaxed state of being.   I’m not entirely sure if this is something that comes with age, experience, time or all of these but I welcome it because it’s providing me with such a unique, profound and irreplaceable  form of happiness.   Within this level I have also discovered a greater passion, a greater reason and a greater experience within my purpose.

Part of the change is my focus and where I am directing my attention to and where I’m taking it away from.  I’m directing more towards where I want to go, what I want to achieve, how I want to get there and what I want to project along the way.

I’m retracting it from the trivial areas, areas that my ego contributes to.  We all have an ego, the hardest thing to do, at times, is to keep that ego in check.  It can divert our minds into focusing on things that shouldn’t really bother us.  I think we’ve all had one of those days when we got dragged down to a level of communication and behavior that we later regret, that’s our ego winning the battle.  It can wreak havoc within our lives when we allow it to carry our thoughts away from the bigger picture. 

This really is something that comes from within and I’ve found that in everything I do and commit to if my subconscious isn’t in it 100% then I won’t succeed.  I wish I could offer a “one size fits all” process that would help everyone to get to their own “greater meaning of their life”.  My own journey to has had its share of ups and downs along the way but knowing how far I’ve come and having faith that there is so much more on the way makes it entirely worth it.

There is a quiet strength and resilience hidden with the state of Contentment.  My personal peace and happiness have become the most important state of being that I covet.

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2012 in Blog

 

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Positively Empowering!

It’s Never Too Late to Re-Write Your Life Story

It’s been a very contemplative week for me, a lot of deep thinking and it’s all due to the power of the positive.  I’ve had the benefit of watching Oprah’s Lifeclass Tour which began just last week and I’ve found it to be a huge opportunity for expanding my own personal growth.  I don’t think anyone is ever really done when it comes to expanding your awareness.  I definitely don’t think that I have things all figured out and I absolutely love that Oprah is putting on this tour and broadcasting it worldwide.  I am so excited to see positive thinking and personal empowerment being spread on such a global scale.  The opportunities we can all create for ourselves have no limits and this tour is a huge reminder of that as well as an opportunity for anyone looking to experience personal growth, empowerment, awareness, motivation and inspiration.  So far there have only been 2 shows of this tour televised and it has already amplified my own thirst for personal growth and empowerment.  It has helped me to continue to remind myself that what I want to project outward at all times is a healthy and positive attitude and that no matter who or what the circumstance is I am going to be strong and not allow anything to interrupt or change that in any way.

If something is bothering or interrupting my personal flow of life I find that the best thing I can do is try to find the ultimate reason behind it, look for the positive lesson.  Sure, I could shrug my shoulders, give in and scream out “what’s the point of this?” or say “it’s not my fault, it’s theirs”, but for me I don’t see any benefit in doing that ever!  It doesn’t solve anything, it doesn’t make you feel any better and it certainly doesn’t change things.  So if you’re going to say “what’s the point of this?” make sure that question is directed to “what’s the point of me giving this any energy?”.

One of the key things on the first show that I believe to be a very significant factor in a lot of people’s lives is “what story are you telling?”.  If the reasons you aren’t succeeding or moving forward are because of a difficulty you’ve experienced in your life ( in your past ) then you need to stop telling that story.  It’s something that has caused you pain but by continuing to use that as your story (your excuse) you are the one holding yourself back from being all that you are meant to be.

When you continue to re-tell your story of the obstacles that have prevented you from having the life that you wanted, you are reinforcing that story and giving it more energy to grow and become an even bigger obstacle.  Close off the old story – “Life was tough before now, some of it was very painful, but now I’m going to take charge and I’m going to change it, it’s going to get better.  It’s going to be the life that I want and that I was meant to live”.

You need to re-write that story to suit you better to who you are now and who you want to become.  A good beginning, that I have used, is to simply change my perspective and attitude, it doesn’t cost a thing.  Maybe at first you may not see the changes and it’s not because they aren’t there but it does take some time to learn how to recognize your newfound awareness but it won’t be long before you are able to fully embrace it and begin to move forward.

Start your new story now, don’t wait, don’t leave it for another day.  If inspiration, motivation or both strike you, then you need to strike back while the iron is hot.  I know you are totally worth it to re-write your new story, one that is more positive and of more benefit to the direction you want to see your life go.   The only way to grasp a new way of life is to let go of the old one.

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2012 in Blog

 

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Envisioning Your Future

Seeing is Believing, Believing is Seeing

For myself, the beginning of this process was to first determine what it was that I really wanted out of my life.  This wasn’t something I was able to do instantaneously, it definitely took some serious reflection on where I’ve been, where I wanted to go, how I wanted to get there and who I wanted there with me.  In making that determination I had to remain true to my inner desires without compromising my inner self.  The course that I wanted to chart felt like a very natural progression and I knew I could easily fit into it without having to alter myself in any way.

When trying to figure out your ultimate calling these factors are very important, it should be a natural fit with who you already are.

Once I had it all figured out, it then transitioned so easily and so naturally that I wondered why I hadn’t discovered this path before.  I knew that I wasn’t living up to my true potential, I knew that I didn’t feel fulfilled.  There was always something that I felt I was supposed to be doing but couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

What I had been doing that prevented this natural transition, was resisting, although I didn’t know it until I had stopped.  The foundation of the resistance that I was creating was due to my indecision about what I wanted to envision for my future.  I couldn’t begin to believe if I didn’t know what it was that I wanted to see. 

Once you allow yourself to imagine the life you want, it becomes that much easier to create it.  I wrote out my own little “To Do” list with the steps in an order that would best help me to reach my ultimate goal.  Making this list was the easiest part of preparing for my future all I had to do was follow the steps I had planned out, if one didn’t work out as expected, I would re-organize my steps.

Visualization isn’t easy for everyone if you are having a tough time with it, then create a vision board and make sure you have it in a place where you will see it every day.  After a while you will be able to see your vision board in your mind without being in front of it, you can make mental alterations if you want to.  At that point you are now Visualizing, and doing it on your own.

There’s a reason why we go through the events we do and it is because they are the necessary steps that shape us into the people we need to be so we have all the tools we need for the future we are destined for.  Each event is designed to teach us something and the victory is when you’ve identified the lesson and used it to enhance your own personal growth.

I have used the Law of Attraction for many years and I can honestly say that everything I’ve ever really wanted and put my conscious and subconscious mind into I’ve achieved.  Anytime that something hasn’t worked for me wasn’t because the Law of Attraction wasn’t working it’s because I was blocking it in some way.

Keep your mind and heart open, see what you want and believe in it.  The more you believe in it, the more you will see it. 

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2012 in Blog

 

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