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Tag Archives: personal growth

The Seeds of Doubt

Grow the Spaces to Disconnection

When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered.  Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.

Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close.  Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.

Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on.  That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.

We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively.  Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.

Is it lost forever?  I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication.  It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood.  Intention is everything!

I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.

  • Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
  • Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
  • Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?

All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra.  We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.

Can we change it?  Absolutely yes!

Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being.  If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome.  This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success.  Anything worth having, is worth working for!

I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities.  If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered.  I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it.  That has been my experience every time!

I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.

At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.

a life that matters

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Seeds of Greatness!

Are at the Core of your Spirit

Peeling back the layers of life that have caused your spirit to be cloaked by any negative emotion as a result of your experiences is what allows your true essence to shine!

Where was I Then?

Your youth is where it all begins, where patterns, habits and learned behaviours are formed. You are meant to learn and grow from your experiences not be crippled by them. If your environment doesn’t contain any sort of positive aspects then your outlook of possibilities may be diminished. Your role models are the biggest influences in creating your view on the world, how they model their ability to deal with life experiences is very influential and will either be motivational or damaging. Some behaviours pass through more than one generation and are viewed as “normal” because that is all you know, especially when you are young. It is only when you start to develop into your own independence that you become aware of the inconsistencies. Most times you seek out those that fit the same behavioural pattern that is so familiar and I think eventually you either break away from it or fall into the same mold because it is too far outside of your comfort zone.

I think the biggest and most crippling aspect of this is that you can end up going through many life experiences without really experiencing them because the pattern is so ingrained that you run on auto-pilot and never realize that there is more to your life than just the day to day run of existence.

Where am I Now?

Asking yourself the big questions that are beginning to resonate in your soul are both important and necessary. If it matters to you, it matters! If you’re feeling like there’s something more that you want to reach for or experience within your life there is never a time when it is too late. All change or transformation begins with a first step – the decision. The decision, which doesn’t sound like a huge step, actually is but following through is even bigger. Once you’ve taken those very critical two first steps you start to fall back in alignment with the Universe (I call it being in the Zone, athletes will totally know what I mean) and the Universe only works to create what is meant for you.

Believe me, we are all meant to experience life positively, it is when we fall out of alignment that things start to go sideways.

Where will I Go?dr suess quote #3

Once you’ve taken on a more positive outlook and continue to search or have found your new path the places you can go become infinite possibilities! Listen to Dr. Suess, it’s not just meant for children!

I strive to inspire, motivate and cultivate all things positive and continue to seek deeper awareness and understanding. Every day I learn, every day I come across new meaning to parts of life I didn’t realize existed and every day I am enlightened, humbled and impressed!

Don’t let negative life experiences prevent you from living the life you are meant for or deserve. Make the decision that “it stops here!” and immediately change direction, you can do anything you set your mind to!

At your core you’re all things pure and good and when you realize the amount of strength you and all of us have been given, success and happiness is just a short period of time away and all it takes for you to get there from here is your decision to do it.

Make the change that changes your life!

 
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Posted by on May 28, 2014 in Blog

 

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When You Know Better, You Do Better

Strengthening the Ground You Stand On!

This eye-opening phrase comes from Maya Angelou and I first heard it when watching an Oprah Winfrey show a few years ago and even though at the time I thought I understood the meaning it turns out it didn’t fully sink in until recently when watching one of Oprah’s Lifeclass segments where she really dug into it.

Even though all of her shows, master classes and now lifeclasses focus on life enrichment and enlightenment for the betterment of our inner spirits I have always found it amazing that she could interview anyone and I mean anyone, including those that have been negatively labelled by society. How does she do it without reservation or judgement with regard to the actions that have brought the negative labels attached to them? A lot of times we can end up judging another person based on what we’ve heard or seen of their actions but who are we to judge? I’m quite sure that no one is perfect, everyone has made a mistake at one time or another.

I have chastised myself for the times I’ve allowed others to take advantage of an aspect of my personality and what I finally got from this phrase was while it was not nice for someone to take advantage they were able to do so because I let them, now I know better. I can’t continually punish myself for the actions of someone else because I was hurt by it, all I can do is learn from it and strengthen my boundaries so it doesn’t happen again “When you know better, you do better”.

awakening

What an “aha” moment it was when I finally got this in its full context and along with it came the enlightenment that if someone hurt me in my past I can’t continue to judge them for it now or carry it into my future because I allowed it, I let it happen. I didn’t knowingly consent to it but I also didn’t object, I didn’t communicate my discontent and that’s on me. Just maybe, they didn’t know better or maybe they did but that doesn’t matter because all actions have karmic consequences doled out only by the Universe and if someone knowingly and/or willingly takes advantage of another it is not my karma, it is theirs.

Negative experiences usually cause internal emotional hurt and/or pain and we all deal with these kinds of experiences differently. Some act out aggressively to release it, some internalize and act out passive aggressively and some bottle it up. The best way to heal is to acknowledge the hurt, allow yourself to feel it so you can make peace with it, learn from it and only then can you truly move forward and release it.

Negative experiences can sometimes stall you in life and paralyze you from moving forward, keeping you in that time to remember it over and over again. Knowing and doing better because of it frees you.

I’ve made my own mistakes, I learned from most of them, sometimes I had to make them twice to learn but “when you know better, you do better”. I certainly don’t make the same mistakes anymore because now I know better and what I’ve now learned to consider is that maybe those who have caused me hurt in the past were acting out of their own pain. Embracing this philosophy has given me a heightened sense of awareness into myself and others and has shown me another level of the “judgement” lesson, I don’t think any of us ever have it all figured out. This “aha” realization has taught me the deeper meaning of empathy and its connection to all of our emotional challenges but in this case specifically judgement, which has allowed me to further my trust that the Universe takes care of us all in relation to the life we live and the seeds we sow.

when-you-know-better-you-do-better

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Blog

 

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My Life, My Way!

YOU Are in Charge

You are the one who has to live in your life every day so it should be going the way you want it to or at least some version of how you see it.  If it isn’t than it’s time for you to take charge of your role and do the work that takes you in the direction you seek.

I think having a plan is the driving force that you need to unleash because we all need something to work toward or gravitate to.  It is inspiration that nourishes the soul, a nourishment that I don’t think any of us should be without because it helps to maintain balance.

My biggest impediments have been allowing those that lessen my worth into my life and it isn’t just through being nasty that someone can lessen your worth.  When you are contributing to something that you know isn’t feeding your soul, you are lessening your worth from what the divine meant it for.

We are here to learn, to grow, to inspire and nourish our spirit to evolve in as many directions as we can while trying to navigate the lessons and challenges that were planned for us while carefully riding the wave of the hidden influences that can interfere.

souls growth

The end result of each challenge is always greater knowledge, awareness & gratitude (if you learned the true meaning of your lesson), if you don’t it will keep cycling until you do.  Your gut instinct will alert you to imbalance but the cycle will only stop when you begin to listen.

We all have an inner war that needs to be battled at one time or another, sometimes more than once and I believe that the way to win your inner war is to take your weaknesses and expose them. 

The cycle is your own inner war (no one else’s) and until you embrace whatever is holding you back resistance will serve as your coat of armor.  Unfortunately that coat of armor will also prevent you from progressing forward because a repetitive cycle will remind you of every experience that bears resemblance so you will never truly experience closure. 

Without closure it is difficult, if not impossible, to move on.

If you can’t be honest with anyone else at the very least be honest with yourself.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable even if it feels uncomfortable or scary.

Vulnerability is the ultimate healer and I think that’s because when you peel back the layers you expose the core and at your core you aren’t negative, you aren’t hindered by insecurity, you have unconditional love and compassion for others.  Being completely vulnerable is the only way to shed the layers of life that have weighed you down and lowered your hope.  Once you have reached that point there is only one way to go and that is up and why not “go for it”?

Allow your imagination to reach into every depth of your interests, somewhere within your imagination is where your passion and purpose can be found but only if you allow it.

To begin changing the world around you, try one act of random kindness at a time.

act of random kindness

 
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Posted by on December 3, 2013 in Blog

 

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Don’t Ever Be Done!

There Are So Many Levels

There is always another mountain beyond the one you’ve just climbed and continually challenging yourself to be all that you can be is the best motivation for your personal evolution and growth.  Honestly I think my best competition is trying to best myself at something I’ve achieved and I always enjoy the challenge.  If I am unsuccessful at first I find it personally motivating to try that much harder again and again until I achieve my goal.  While I recognize that I am stubborn, this trait has proven to be of great assistance because it helps keep me motivated to persevere even if something is more challenging than I had initially anticipated.

I do believe that the people we surround ourselves with in life can either help or hinder our efforts to progress.

If someone believes in you, do them the honor or letting them know their belief in you is not wasted, rise to all that you can be.  One person can make a difference because on the flip side one person’s lack of belief can plant the seeds of self-doubt and that doubt can destroy not only your faith in yourself but your faith in them.

mark twain quote

I don’t believe that we’ve chosen the people that enter our lives but rather it has been destined to evolve because that was the plan from the beginning, whether we realize it or not.

Everyone that crosses our path, negative or positive, are there to teach us how to determine who we want to walk with us through this life.  All of it is a challenge, some challenges are more obvious than others and I think the ones that are the most obvious are our mistakes or missteps because they hurt and we tend to pay a lot more attention to them whether that is trying to dissect why something happened or trying to determine how to avoid it in the future.

It’s amazing how some of the most monumental developments in my life have evolved from humble beginnings, I mean I’ve literally fallen into great opportunities that have seemed so effortless that had I planned for it I would have expected to have to put more effort into it.  I think that’s the beauty of the destined path especially if you are continually pushing yourself onto the next level of your life.  If you are not open to embracing the challenge and the change you become stagnant and that state of being can deteriorate your spirit into so many negative and non-productive directions.

Everything in life is evolving whether you choose to evolve with or not and it’s your personal and life challenges that can either make or break how you far you end up going but these challenges build character and strength whether we desire it or not.

There is a lot of reference now to the “bucket list” which I think is a great motivator but only if you don’t take yourself for granted and have enough belief in yourself to know that you will work as hard as you can to do all the things you have on your list.  The “bucket list” is similar to the vision board and whichever format works best to aide you is the one you should use.  I use both actually, mostly because the more I see something the more ingrained it becomes in my mind and which makes manifestation inevitable.  I must have a million different notepads that I’ve written goals in along with the pages I’ve written them on, torn out and carried around with me.  My process works for me, I’ve done clean-ups where I’ve found these notepads or notes and discovered that everything on them was now a checkmark of success.

I know that these successes are the inspiration for my continued climb onto the next level because I want to challenge and push myself to the limits so I can be happily surprised when I achieve success.  It is a joyful feeling to create and induce your personal confidence level when you achieve something that you didn’t know if you could but challenged yourself anyway because of the inner strength it builds.

perseverence quote

 
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Posted by on November 5, 2013 in Blog

 

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When the Storm Ends

A New Beginning Opens Up

I can breathe again!

With the end of any challenging experience brings the opportunity for a new beginning and direction in life.  We aren’t defined by the challenges themselves or if we make mistakes, we are defined by the changes we make as a result.

My recent challenges have finally levelled off and in the last couple of weeks I finally had the chance to exhale.  My renewed sense of awareness, focus and direction are creating a sense of peace that feels like I am in a state of relaxation all day long.  I don’t know if it is just that my mind and body have finally de-activated the “All Systems Alert” button or if the new beginning is the major cause but what I do know is that my new normal is feeling fabulous!

The Storm itself is meant to cause upheaval and depending on what your life lessons are and where you are on your path that upheaval could be either minor or major.  If you are too far off your destined path the major storm can be quite stressful but the storms themselves open up opportunity for growth and transition that you may not have reached without it and hopefully the wisdom you gain is used to your best advantage.  The storms should NEVER be wasted and what ALWAYS comes with them is the opportunity to change things to your liking, you always have a choice.

I’ve experienced both minor and major storms and “God willing” there aren’t many more of the major ones destined but honestly it feels like my latest one really cracked me open and as hard as it was to deal with I really like the end result.

Along with my new beginning came a greater appreciation for the parts of life I used to rush through, I used to get so stressed about making everything I had on my plate fit into my day whether it took up all of my “ME” time or not.  I crammed as much as I could in my day in order to whittle down my ever-growing “to do” list but I was depriving myself of a much needed decompress time at the end of the day and I’ve been doing this for many months, maybe even a year.  No wonder my new sense of peace and direction has me feeling like I’m in a state of relaxation all day long, it makes sense that unwinding from that much lack of self-preservation feels so cathartic.

There were so many benefits that I’ve been able to take away from all my experiences and digging for the deeper strength has been the hardest task but I definitely learned that no matter what if you have to go through something difficult, don’t do it alone!  Regardless of how strong you may think you are, vulnerability is the key to finding the new path.  It doesn’t mean you are weak, actually it is probably the moment you are most open because when you are vulnerable you don’t have the fight left to resist.  Resistance is what prevents you from embracing change and during the storms is the time when the most change is needed.

If you are currently in a storm in your life (minor or major), neither are easy, keep reminding yourself that it will eventually pass and when it’s done there are many gifts on the other side waiting for you.  Embrace them for all that they offer, stay open and mindful that you don’t resist.  You have more inner strength than you probably realize and when you dig the deepest the biggest rewards will follow.  The rewards may not look the way you had envisioned, they will likely be better and bring you a greater sense of peace, as they did with me.

adversity #2

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2013 in Blog

 

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You Can’t Change the Past!

But You can Build a Better Future

I think it goes for all relationships that if you carry your past attitude, behaviour and habits into your future relationships you end up building the same house.  Eventually it falls apart because the house is built on a foundation that has many cracks that haven’t been sealed (or healed).

past builds same house

There is no point in dwelling on what you cannot change, all you can do is learn from it, grow because of it and change in spite of it.  Our lessons are contained in all of the people and events that occur during our lives and if you feel like you keep getting caught in the same rut it may be because either you aren’t learning the lesson or you’re misreading it.

Regardless of a “who’s right or who’s wrong” scenario, we all have a part and each of us are responsible for what we do or don’t contribute.  Once you begin to recognize your part, whether significant or not, it will help you to change something that may not be working for you and keeps ending you up in the same outcome.  I love quotes and this one, from the movie (How do you Know?), was one I liked because it resonated with me:

We are all just one small adjustment away from making our lives work.

I really believe this to be true, sometimes it takes the littlest adjustment to my attitude, behavior or habits to effect an even bigger change, a change that works so much better that I’ve wondered “why didn’t I do this long ago?”

It’s not just the past that influences our life, there is also the challenge of the “two wolves theory”, which one are you feeding, and why?

two wolves

The two wolves are there to teach us many lessons and to give us the option of free will.

–          Without temptation, how do you learn to do the right thing?

–          Without ego, how do you learn to listen to your gut?

–          Without betrayal, how do you learn forgiveness?

Even though these can be difficult lessons to learn, they become invaluable going forward and they teach you so much about your own strengths and weaknesses and that knowledge can help you to identify where you might want to tweak things a little or a lot.

So how do you change it?

Writing a different future lies within the moment that you decide to take the opportunity to change that which you do not like about yourself so that you can attract the types of people you desire to have in your life.

You can’t change the past but you can build a better future!

 

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2013 in Blog

 

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