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Got Humor?

08 May

Keeping It Real

Don’t take life too seriously!  Humor is an essential part of keeping yourself in check and preventing your ego from getting away from you.  Being able to laugh with others and at yourself can spread joy and make even the grumpiest person smile.

Laughter can be contagious even if you didn’t hear the joke.  When I was 10 years old my classroom teacher had made the decision to test the laughing theory only we (his students) had no idea of his plan.  We walked in after lunch period and he was roaring hysterically, slapping his hand on the desks and acting like he couldn’t possibly contain it.  None of us had a clue why but he kept it up and soon all of us (the entire class) were also roaring hysterically and then all of a sudden he stopped on a dime and asked us “why are you laughing?”.  It took all of us a moment to settle ourselves down from the laughter but of course we had no idea why.  One of the kids in the class said that they were laughing at the sounds of his laughter and his actions and everyone in the class had agreed that was also their experience.

It’s strange to me that even though that experience doesn’t sound so significant, it actually was.  I think it was the fact that even though we all had no idea what the joke was we felt compelled to laugh and share in the joy, he was teaching us and we didn’t know it.

I think we all need and want joy and happiness in our lives and it’s important to maintain some form of silliness in at least one area of your life no matter what age you are because that’s what keeps us young in spirit.

laugh,audrey hepburn

Life can be so overwhelming, challenging and demanding at times and those times can take a toll on the health of your spirit but I believe that laughter can alleviate those wounds or scars, even if it’s only momentarily, sometimes that can be enough.

One night I caught a blurb on the local news about a new class that people were taking up, similar to a yoga class, but they would gather to laugh together, joyous, crazy, out there laughing.  The people they interviewed said they felt it helped to alleviate their stress and kept them young.  I agree and I think that it’s an outlet, similar to exercising, competitive sports or a spa day.  All of these things can alleviate the daily stresses that life builds up and I think that laughter is a very valuable tool and asset that we have at our disposal and probably the easiest on our system to access.  I’ve played a number of different sports all my life and the injuries that can occur are more likely with sports then just plain laughter.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone actually “pulling their abdominals” because they were laughing too hard.

In addition to the joy of sharing in laughter with others, it is also very beneficial to have a healthy ability to laugh at your own foibles.  When you are able to do that it helps to alleviate the pressure and reduce the expectations you may put on yourself.  There’s nothing worse than holding yourself to measure up to your own standards, chances are they are higher than any standard you hold for anyone else, at least mine have always been.  Being able to laugh at myself has helped me to let go of my mistakes so I can learn that they are just mistakes and not failures.  I used to view an expectation that didn’t go the way I had wanted as a result in failure and that’s not necessarily the best way to view it.  My humor, which is a form of the word humility has allowed me to put things in the perspective they should be in and to laugh when things are just plain funny.

The first line of one of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson is “To laugh often and much” and that’s something we should all do to maintain a healthy balance.

laughter,spirit

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Blog

 

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Oh No! Not Again!

01 May

Some Patterns are Hard to Break

The most undesired moment of clarity comes when you realize that you have fallen into the same dynamic again within any or all of your relationships and trying to determine the root cause of this continual pattern can be a frustrating journey.

One thing for sure is that just because you find yourself in this predicament doesn’t mean you require a therapist to find your way out (unless you want to of course), it just means your awareness is expanding and that expansion is whispering to you to discover a better way of life, one that includes inner peace and contentment.

chance, change

I believe there are a couple key points to consider when starting down this particular road of self-discovery:

1)      From the time we are young we begin to develop habits and preferences based on our environment, our experiences and our desires.

In my opinion, our environment in our early years plays the most significant part in our development and future choices which I’ve discussed more in depth in one of my previous blogs “Some Emotions Can Run Deep”. 

2)      What is modelled to us through the relationships during our formative years, regardless of whether or not they are healthy, becomes familiar and that familiarity can end up being the stepping stone that leads us down a similar path and into a similar relationship dynamic.

Obviously no one chooses to deliberately become involved in relationships that can be disheartening or damaging but sometimes that can’t be avoided, familiarity (whether healthy or not) can be the trigger that draws you in.change ahead

The only way to keep a pattern like this from repeating is to find its root cause and learn what the triggers are that lead your emotions to pull you in that direction.

It may be that whatever you think the root cause is isn’t actually the root cause at all.  My own discoveries were so simple in theory that it almost seemed ridiculous to me, I figured it had to be something obscure and so deeply ingrained that I would have had to peel back layers and layers of life to figure it out but that wasn’t the case at all.  My realization was that I was I compromising one need to fill another but that these two needs were never connected in any way so it was impossible for my way of dealing with this pattern to ever work.  Even though this discovery seems like a “no brainer” to me now, it wasn’t then and that’s because my awareness had not yet developed enough to allow me that insight.

When you feel imprisoned by your pattern your world can seem bleak and restrictive so the earlier these inklings of insight and awareness start the earlier your life can begin to evolve towards a more positive, productive and healthier state of mind.  Our awareness is continually expanding and with every year that passes we have the opportunity to gain further insight and personal development.

Gratitude is a good place to start, there are so many aspects of our lives that could be compromised worse than they actually are.  If you were to stand in a circle with a group of people and everyone put their troubles in the middle I think you might find that after viewing their troubles you would be glad to pick your own back up, walk away and have gratitude that things could have been much worse.

gratitude

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2013 in Blog

 

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Serendipity is Magical!

24 Apr

Don’t Chase Destiny, Let it Find You

My interpretation of Serendipity is allowing destiny to unfold as the universe has intended and embracing those moments along the way.  Even if that Serendipity is not something you’ve had on your radar of desires I think it’s important to at least acknowledge and consider the possibilities.  I’ve attached the actual definition I googled below:

Serendipity:  an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident

I experienced specific times when Serendipity was at play and I always used to refer to those times as Divine Intervention, although I don’t think it really matters how you personally interpret it, just that you recognize and/or allow it into your life to work its magic.

If you think back to the insignificant moments in your life that ultimately had a bigger impact then you had realized at the time, ask yourself, did you embrace those moments or resist them?  Or were they so casual at the time that you weren’t aware of their part in the bigger picture?  When you make these connections later it’s amazing to see how integral certain moments were and how different the direction of your life may have been had those casual encounters not occurred.

There are probably a lot of ways you can reflect and evaluate each and every occurrence in your life but I think mostly I’m asking about the moments that felt oddly familiar or significant in some way, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.  I’m sure there are many and there are a few for me that are still unanswered that I haven’t put the pieces together on yet and I’m looking forward to that moment of clarity.

destiny

It’s a matter of trusting and believing that your destiny (whatever that may be) will present itself when the time is perfectly right and having faith that your destiny is in alignment with all the seeds you have sewn so far.  We are all meant to have good in our lives, it’s unfortunate that we can get too sidetracked by the negative aspects in our human existence but they are there to test our strength of character and sometimes tempt us down the wrong path.  These challenges can seem impassable but they are always valuable lessons that are necessary to our destiny.  I do believe that there is always hope to change a path that is causing any kind of turmoil in your life and I think the best way to interpret difficulty is to realize that these tests are tough because you are meant for greater things that require greater strength and that difficulty will shape you into the person you need to be to live your specific destiny.

My bottom line:

–          Don’t cut yourself off from embracing something just because it is unknown, have faith that “Everything happens for a Reason”, the reason will become clear to you when you are fully ready for it.

–          Don’t let negativity win, you are more powerful than you may think or realize at this time

–          Do try to find the silver lining even in the difficult times for it will lead to a more positive state of being, which is the kryptonite to negativity.

Serendipity occurs to remind you that there is still magic left in your life and when those moments occur; embrace them, allow them to play out without resistance and I bet it will lead you to a life you couldn’t have imagined or written for yourself.

serendipity

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2013 in Blog

 

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What is More Important?

17 Apr

Being Right or Being Happy

In my opinion being right is not worth jeopardizing being happy!  It takes negative energy to hold on to the emotion that maintains the ego when it insists on “being right”.  Negativity in any form is not time well spent and being right will never be as fulfilling as being happy.

being right quote

I have been guilty myself of wasting my time feeding that emotion but thankfully I did not waste as much time as I could have because I value my happiness and positive state of being more than my ego.

I believe that the insistence of being right comes from a place of insecurity, feeling inadequate, invisible and invalidated.  “Being right” brings a feeling of being in control, respected and admired, something that an insecure person is not likely to feel on any given day so the insistence of being right is very necessary not only to the ego but to the psyche and state of being.  When someone feels invisible this may be the only validation they feel they have so it becomes very, very important.  My wish for those that feel the negativity of insecurity is that someone in their life is able to open up their world so they can see that it is this emotion of insecurity that is inhibiting their happiness more than anything else.

It takes more energy to feed negative emotions then it does positive.  All things negative feel heavy and draining, all things positive feel lighter and flow with ease, it is the resistance to the positive that drains the energy levels in our bodies and wears us out.

Have you ever noticed that when you have been resistant to something, regardless of whether you thought it was negative or positive, that it has been a draining experience just to fight it and when you run out of energy and give up, it’s like a weight has been lifted.  The release of that weight is the “letting go” of the resistance and I have found that when I have recognized I’m resisting and allow myself to “let go” I have later asked myself “why didn’t I realize this earlier?  I could have saved myself all the heartache that went with resisting.”

I have found it quite educational to observe how different each of us are, how that difference affects how we interact with each other and how that interaction reflects on each of us.  My observation of people that have insecurity is that they desire attention but that their behaviour and the way they interact usually offends others which has the opposite effect of what they desire.

I’ve observed people that are confident and have great social interaction with others and it seems obvious that the reason for these qualities they possess is because they are more concerned with being happy than being noticed.  When they communicate with others it is because they enjoy the social interaction and are interested in what others have to say.

I’ve observed people that are in between these two ends of the spectrum and I’ve found that I’ve learned something from everyone that has crossed my path.

The one thing we all have in common is that we are all trying our best with what we know to navigate our way through the tests, the lessons, the joys and the blessings, and if we are lucky we come out of each with more knowledge and appreciation then we went in with.

life quote

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Transitions of Life!

10 Apr

Without Change We Wouldn’t have Growth

I’m watching another installment of Oprah’s Lifeclass with Pastor Rick Warren, author of “The Purpose Driven Life” and one thing in particular he has just talked about is something that sparked my interest immediately:

change is a process

“The Transitions of Life”

“There is no growth without change, no change without loss and no loss without pain and that is Grief.”  “Fear and Resentment are the things that will hold you back.”

Pastor Rick Warren’s definition of the difference between success and significance:

–          “Everybody’s life is driven by something. 

–          There are a lot of successful people whose lives are driven by guilt. 

–          There are a lot of successful people who are driven by the approval of others.”

“If you live for the approval of others, you will die by their rejection”

“The two biggest barriers to you fulfilling your purpose in life is envy and people pleasing. 

–          Envy is, I must be like you to be happy. 

–          People pleasing is, I must be liked by you to be happy.

Those two things will cause you to miss God’s purpose for your life! 

You have to live for an audience of one!

I found that these statements are very powerful because our emotions, like fear and resentment can become so ingrained within us that it can start to control us whether we want it to or not.  These two emotions especially can keep you from experiencing and progressing through your life as you are meant to.

Fear can be paralyzing, it can prevent you from taking the risks that may improve your life in more ways than you can imagine and can cause you to doubt your own capabilities.

Resentment can be imprisoning because it can cause you to replay, over and over, events in your life that were damaging to your emotional state of being and by continuing to hold on to that resentment you will likely feel the hurt of those memories often, possibly even daily.

Loss, whether someone has passed on or a relationship has run its course transitions us to grief and during that grief process is the opportunity for healing.  All things change even if we don’t think we want them to but every ending is the beginning of something new.

These transitions, once recognized for their true meaning, can change your entire life if you let it, especially when you allow yourself to have faith that “all things will work out as they should, and when they should”.  I believe in that statement and even when things feel unknown I am very confident that at some point it will all make sense and usually it does!  I don’t challenge the timing of when that light bulb will go on and I’ll figure out how all those pieces of the puzzle fit together, I would drive myself crazy if I did that!  I just know that whatever the outcome is it will be what is best for me and that it’s all part of the bigger picture of my life that I will eventually come into.

When looking back 5 or even 10 years I couldn’t have possibly guessed that I would be where I am at now and I have such anticipation for what the next chapters of my life hold.  I’m excited and hopeful for a future that is fitting of the transitions that I’ve had in my life so far.  Of course I have ideas and dreams of where I want my future to go but so far everything I’ve thought had in my sights has turned into something completely different and better so I know that whatever direction is mapped out for my future is one that I will fit into comfortably.

faith in god, faith in timing

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Moment of Truth!

03 Apr

Victim or Victor?

We all have a choice!  That choice is to live your life as either the victim or the victor.  Which side of that moment of truth is affecting your life?  We all have challenges that change us, what defines us is how we make it through those challenges and whether or not we come out on the other side with more wisdom than we went in with.  We are meant to learn and grow, use the wisdom we acquire to assist us on our journey and not let the hard times defeat us.

We all have a story that we tell over and over either internally, out loud, or both and that story can either inspire great change or imprison you.  It is difficult to have challenge after challenge, especially when those challenges feel so defeating that you don’t think you have the energy or will to keep going.  I always view the harder challenges as defining moments for myself and believe that there is a reason within the greater picture for them to be presented in my life.  Even though some are very difficult on my emotions I embrace them as blessings and believe that their magnitude only translates to a greater destiny for myself.  This personal theory allows me to get through them faster and helps me to maintain my faith and develop a stronger sense of hope for the future.

I find that much later after going through something challenging that in reflection I can finally see the difficulty in the degree it actually was and usually we view things as being worse than they actually are when we are in the midst of them.

challenges

I recently came across some wisdom imparted by Deepak Chopra from the Introduction in his book “Creating Affluence” that I thought was such a great concept, one that I intend to incorporate into my daily thoughts.

A spiritual teacher once said “There are two Goddesses that reside in the heart of every human being.  Everybody is deeply in love with these supreme beings.  But there is a certain secret that you need to know, and I will tell you what it is.”

“Although you love both Goddesses, you must pay more attention to one of them.  She is the Goddess of Knowledge, and her name is Sarasvati.  Pursue her, love her, and give her your attention.  The other Goddess, whose name is Lakshmi, is the Goddess of Wealth.  When you pay more attention to Saravati, Lakshmi will become extremely jealous and pay more attention to you.”  The more you seek the Goddess of Knowledge, the more the Goddess of Wealth will seek you.  She will follow you wherever you go and never leave you.  And the wealth you desire will be yours forever.”

Honestly this makes sense because the more you pursue knowledge, the more it changes your focus and intention.  Sometimes our attention to the lesser gratification can impede us from discovering the greater manifestation.

Embrace your moment of truth, listen to the Universe’s whisper as it guides you to your destiny.

truth

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2013 in Blog

 

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Out on a Limb!

27 Mar

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

This is where the biggest and most rewarding opportunities exist, the question is do you have enough faith to walk on the weaker branches in the hopes that you may find what you truly desire?  It takes great risk to gain a greater sense of freedom and happiness and even though I know this I sometimes hesitate to step ahead and away from the safety net that I prefer.  That safety net provides me with stability but not unlimited movement and it’s within the unlimited movement that an abundance of options and opportunities are waiting for me.

out on a limb

It’s crazy to think how easy it is to talk ourselves out of an opportunity that can ultimately change our lives in so many ways but I’ve done it, so I know it’s possible.  The reason I believe we sometimes talk ourselves out of pursuing something we desire is because “what if I can’t do it” or “what if I fail”.  The truth is it isn’t actually failure, we are meant to try but we aren’t always meant to succeed because it’s through that attempt that we find an inner strength that is needed to serve us in another endeavor, one we may not have gained otherwise.

I like to think of these instances as creative mistakes, mistakes that help point us in the direction we are supposed to be heading.  It’s as simple as searching for a friend’s home and turning down the wrong street, would you think you failed if you did that?  Not likely, you would just think “Geez, went down the wrong street”, now how do I get there from here?  The reason it is so minimal when it’s in that context is because going down the wrong street isn’t a big issue because there isn’t a huge emotional investment in searching for a friend’s home but there is in say a career choice or matters of the heart.  Of course the bigger goals and dreams will definitely carry a bigger emotional attachment because there is so much more riding on it and I can totally relate.scare yourself

The biggest indication for me that I am on the verge of a great opportunity is that I feel like I am scaring myself and sometimes that vulnerability can impair the courage that drives me forward but I know that I need to feel that so I can learn to trust and believe in myself.

My moment of truth in making the conscious decision to step outside of my comfort zone more than I stay in it will create the shift that will open up my world to a beauty that is beyond what I can imagine.

Not everything occurs as we may hope, believe or expect and if we knew the outcome of every experience we were in then I don’t think we would truly experience it as we are meant to.  All experiences that occur in our lives are there to teach and help us grow into the life we are meant to live.  If you aren’t living the life you want or desire, venture out onto the weaker branches as far as you can bring yourself to go, it is there where the best fruit is waiting for you!

We are all given the necessities that we require to achieve what we desire.  If you never try you will never know what you could really accomplish!

Imagine, Believe, Achieve!

three simple rules

 

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2013 in Blog

 

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Negativity Bites!

20 Mar

There are Definitely Side Effects

We develop a connection to everything that inhabits our thoughts (whether we intend to or not), any kind of conversation that is meant to reflect on another person in a negative light is something that I don’t have any desire to make connection to but there are times when we either consciously or unknowingly enter into that zone.

I have had instances where I am in a conversation with someone and somewhere around the middle that person begins to speak negatively about another person (sometimes someone I know and sometimes not).  Either way I find at that point I feel trapped because I am already engaged in the conversation and I don’t want to be rude but:

–          Do I stop them in mid-sentence and tell them I can’t continue because it feels too negative and degrading to that person?

–          Or do I allow them to continue because I’ll just tune it out and eventually they will be done because I don’t want the conflict or discomfort?

negativity breeds

It’s a sensitive decision because you don’t want to offend the person you are talking with and no one wants to hear that you don’t want to listen to what they have to say but at the same time why should you have to be subjected to the negativity and possibly be infected by it?

I’ve determined that there are 3 reasons people may choose to speak of others in a negative light.

  1. They get some sort of pleasure out of another’s misfortune
  2. They themselves are insecure and feel much more empowered about their own life
  3. There is some sort of payoff (whatever that may be)

Ultimately when you are speaking of anyone in a negative light you are creating a cycle of negativity within yourself that will continue to spin and not in a good way.

Negativity bites!  Once you start down that path it can spiral you into an even more negative place, a place that you never thought you’d be in and you may wonder how you got there to begin with.  I believe it starts with the thought, that thought connects to your emotion and then the words start to flow in that direction.

Disconnecting from that cycle is the best conscious decision you can make for yourself and finding a way that works best for you to enforce those boundaries needs to feel comfortable to be successful.

I think that the best solution for me is to relay to the person I am talking with that I do not feel comfortable talking about another person in a negative manner.  I am definitely sensitive in many different areas of my life and enforcing boundaries continues to be a challenge but one that I must persevere in so that I continue to live my life in way that doesn’t feel disloyal to my inner spirit.

live-without-pretending

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Road Less Travelled

13 Mar

Is Usually the Easiest Path

The only thing is, it’s so easy that it can feel too good to be true and too easy to be right!  Are you searching to find your happiness or naturally allowing it to happen?

Allowing it to happen naturally is usually the road less travelled because it’s well-known that hard work presents the greatest rewards and while that is true, you also need to be open to allow the fruits of your labour to flourish.

follow-your-bliss

The natural embrace of allowing things to occur creates a variety of opportunities that you might not have otherwise seen because you were too focused on controlling the outcome.  Being in control of your life is good but like everything variety is a necessity and too much control can diminish the element of surprise and opportunity.

When searching to find your happiness it can seem at times like things just aren’t going the way you want them and that’s because rather than trying to forcefully steer your ship against the current, you sometimes need to go with it and find the openings and opportunities along the way.  Like a give and go, you advance when the opening comes and hang back when it’s time to strategize for the next leg of the journey.

I have had difficulty at times because I am a “get it done now” type of person, when I know what I want I go in that direction and patience can be my opposition.  It’s difficult for me to rein it in and allow things to occur as they should because I know that ultimately the universe knows best and knows when the right time is for change to occur.  I do trust that but find that I have to remind myself constantly to have faith, pay attention to the signs and watch for the opportunities because they will come, hope guides me.

“When you follow your bliss doors will open where there were no doors before and where there are no doors for anyone else”  –  Joseph Campbell

My perspective on this quote is that no opportunity presented behind the door will be the same for any other individual.  We are all unique, no two people experience any one thing the same emotionally and our emotion is what connects us to others and helps us to determine what we like and don’t like, which in turn determines which direction we choose to go.  If you are following your bliss (allowing things to occur naturally) then you are more likely to be opening those doors.  If you are too focused on controlling where you want to go (searching for your happiness) then you may not even see the door of opportunity when it presents itself because you are closed off and going in one focused direction.

When you follow your bliss rather than search for it you aren’t forcing it and that is what opens up all the doors that you seek.  It is that relaxed state of being that creates the moments, the opportunities, the gifts and the happiness, like the phrase “good things come to those who wait”.  It doesn’t mean do nothing and wait for it, it means plant your seeds and wait for them blossom.

If you want something positive to happen in your life you first must be open to letting it in.

the road less travelled

 

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2013 in Blog

 

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What Does it Mean to Have Space?

12 Mar

Such Wisdom! We could all learn something from this post about being happy and making peace with ourselves first!

Debra Taitel's avatarDaily Muse

Having a spaceWhat is the meaning of “having space” or “getting your space back”? For starters it means  you have the space to be who you are. It means you are truly shining and living from the inside out.

It means validating and honoring that you are good enough, have value and purpose; It is having the space to be who you are and live an authentic life.

There is so much more to you than meets the eye! You are more than just a physical body made up of chemicals and particles. Your spirit is what animates your physical body. Spirit shines in the deeds you do, how you communicate and what you create. It shines through your eyes and your smile and the very air about you.

Your spirit is unique and no two people shine or do things in exactly the same way but in today’s society there seems to be certain parameters or limits that…

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Posted by on March 12, 2013 in Blog

 
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