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I Got This!

23 Oct

Not a Dream, but my Reality

I know I’ve said this before but there isn’t anything that any of us can’t achieve as long as you have your heart and soul in it and truly believe in yourself!  This is true for an area of your life but my focus in this post is career because I believe that a lot of people out there aren’t truly doing what they feel passionate about and I don’t want anyone to ever have regrets.  Regret is really hard on the heart, it can deflate your spirit and it can invalidate your belief in yourself further then it may already be.

The biggest detractors that keep us from achieving our dreams come from these questions:

–          Am I worthy?

–          Am I capable?

If anyone in your life is questioning their self-worth in any area encourage them to believe in themselves because there is only one answer:  YES!

It’s imperative that you not allow anyone to encroach on your determination to achieve all that you desire.  Anyone at any time can consciously or unconsciously try to deter you from your dreams whether that is there intention or not.  As Wayne Dyer says put up the “Do Not Disturb” sign on your imagination and do not allow anyone else’s opinion in.

The real questions that you should be asking are:

–          Is this my true desire?

–          Can I envision it?

–          Does it feel effortless?

When I was younger I had lots of ideas of what I thought I wanted to do in life only to find that it wasn’t as ingrained as it needed to be for me to achieve it.  I only thought it was what I wanted and in making the attempt to try to attain that goal I discovered it didn’t fit or feel natural.  Your true desire or dream needs to feel like it is what you were meant to do, as effortless as breathing.When I was younger I really thought that I wanted to be a singer, I practiced, I dreamed and tried to chase that direction.  I never pursued it with the passion that I needed to because as much as it’s what I thought I wanted to do it didn’t fit or feel as effortless as breathing like writing does.  I hadn’t realized that I was in the right area, music is creative and my writing is creative but I was not as aware of the foundation of my true desires as I am now.  I don’t think it matters so much how you get there (finding your true desires in life) but rather that you do and remind yourself often that you can do it.  The people in your life that matter the most and care deeply for you will support and encourage you.

The very first step of putting yourself out there and being vulnerable will definitely be scary, but I think sometimes you need to scare yourself that way.  I’ve found that’s how I know I’m on the right path and that experience has provided me with personal insight into my true passion and purpose that I might not have discovered had I not taken the chance.

Do something for you, give yourself the gift of believing in yourself, allow no one to take that away from you and pursue all your dreams with pride and passion!

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2012 in Blog

 

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Lessons, Lessons, Lessons!

16 Oct

Embracing Them All

I really believe that everything happens for a reason and as it should in the right time, although I’ve had my faith significantly challenged in these beliefs at times which has led me to question certain occurrences in my life.  I’ve come to the conclusion in the last little while that regardless of how difficult it may be, embracing the lesson may be the answer.  Even the lessons that don’t seem like there is a conclusion to, I think sometimes, embracing the lesson is the conclusion.

I have both resisted and accepted different lessons I’ve experienced, and so far resistance has been the most harmful to me and has caused the negativity attached to the lesson to drag on for much longer than it needed to.  As well, I noticed when resisting that the lesson has continued to appear in my life, whether I liked it or not, through different scenarios and/or people, until I was finally able to acknowledge, understand and progress from it. 

On almost every lesson I’ve had so far I’ve discovered that there was a need that I wasn’t aware of and wasn’t allowing to be fulfilled because my ego was quite sure it knew what the need was and was searching in the wrong place.  With my ego venturing off believing it knew best, I’ve wondered if it is possible for those in our circle to get caught in the middle of a lesson that is not part of their path simply because of their placement and vice versa.  When you are emotionally attached to someone it can be hard to sit back and let them lead, especially if you feel you can help, but ultimately it is their lesson and not our place to invade.

What does one do when they find themselves in this situation?  I believe that our awareness and inner voice (gut instinct) will let us know when that is the case and guide us to step back, the challenge is whether or not we listen to it.  The best I’ve found is to offer but not insist, you can’t steer someone else’s ship but you can help guide them through the rocks.

My thoughts have started to sway towards an understanding in the divinity of it all, are these really mistakes?  Or are they guided interventions that the universe is arranging to help us move in the direction of the path we are meant to be on?  I’ve realized that without some of the more challenging lessons I’ve had there may have been so many areas of thought, intention, passion and purpose I may not have discovered.

My curiosity is these different areas of thought are strong and I like investigating all the options, if I don’t I leave myself without possibilities.  It’s the possibilities that create the energy I need to sustain myself through the difficult times and it helps me to find a way to dance when it rains.

I’ve found that embracing all the lessons is providing me with a calmer sense of being, energized intention and a stronger insight into enjoying the journey.

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2012 in Blog

 

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Thoughts for Thanksgiving

09 Oct

Thanks and Gratitude

As we all celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada or look forward to Thanksgiving in the U.S. I wanted to acknowledge the many things in my life with honor, thanks and gratitude:

Thank-You for my Beautiful Daughter and Family:

Even though we don’t all always agree for short or even too long of periods at times, I do remember and recognize whether we have agreed or not that there are some very good moments I will always cherish and appreciate.  Everything in our lives happens for a reason, some of our family members are meant to love us, challenge us and/or help us to grow.  There is a specific purpose for their placement in our lives whether we want to acknowledge it or resist it will determine what we are blessed to learn.  I have spent time resisting (and by that I mean being emotionally stubborn) only to discover that once I let things be as they are (give up the fight to be right, whether I was right or not) it became significantly easier on my heart and spirit.   

Thank-You for my Good Health:

I have the physical capabilities to take on any task or challenge that I wish to like participating in sports or parking my car at the furthest area of a parking lot because I am more than capable to walk the distance to the door without getting tired, having trouble breathing or experiencing pain.  I do not have any visual impairments or neurological delays that could inhibit me in any way.  Even though we see our abilities as being a part of our everyday lives it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate that things could be much different and much more challenging and honor those that power through them with true determination and courage.

Thank-You for my Irreplaceable Friends:

Friendship is one relationship that transcends barriers on so many levels, I think especially so for women, because our most meaningful connections are preferred to be at a very deep level and we are innately more tuned to that desire.  I have a select few of friends that are easily the most invaluable because like family, they can also love, challenge and help us to grow but from a different perspective.  Unlike family that are born or married within the lineage, friends are drawn to each other because of similarities in our faith, hopes and desires in life.

Thanks You for my Opportunities:

I have had so many great opportunities so far and I know that there are many more to come.  Opportunities haven’t always come in the form I have expected but luckily I’ve had fantastic signs and in the last 10 years I’ve been blessed to learn how to recognize them for what they are.  It wasn’t always easy for me to recognize even the most obvious sign but once I tuned into my inner spirit (my gut instinct) and starting listening and allowing it to guide me the signs became more abundant and easier to read.

I have had a lot of changes through the last 15 years, some have been difficult, some have been easy, but all have been necessary.  Regardless of whether they were desired or not I am thankful that they came at all and recognize that in the bigger picture they serve a purpose.  Even if I don’t see or understand what that purpose may be in the now, I have faith that eventually the wisdom will come whether it is through my Family, my Health, my Friends, or my Opportunities.

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2012 in Blog

 

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Keeping Your Eye on the Prize!

02 Oct

Finding Your Motivation & Inspiration

My biggest motivation is “keeping my eye on the prize” when times are difficult, upsetting or somewhat depressing.  My prize is what’s ahead, the bigger picture, and that helps me to put the little things into perspective.  Sometimes I can give the little things way too much emphasis and in doing that I am allowing it to change my outlook and attitude and it’s that simple little change that can severely alter my path.  If you trace back to see how you got so off course at times you may find the same thing I have.  It’s hard to believe that some experiences, that are insignificant in the bigger picture, can change your entire direction in life.

It’s not that there are categories in life of what matters the most it’s just what category they fall into for each of us as individuals determines how much of an effect it may have on us.  Something that bothers or disrupts one person may not bother another at all and vice versa.  We are all so different and of course we are not all meant to mesh together perfectly, this scale of yin and yang is necessary for balance.

So when you are experiencing difficulty what helps you get you out of the rut?  It’s obviously healthier for each of us to find a positive way to manage in the middle of a storm, whatever that method may be, but recognize that you need to be able to weather it in a way that doesn’t damage you.

Besides focusing on where I’m trying to get to, I find it necessary to maintain some sort of healthy humor in my life.  If you can’t laugh at yourself at times, I believe you are really missing out, and thankfully I have some great friends that take joy in laughing at me and with me.

My inspiration is in many areas but mostly it comes from appreciating that I have who I need and what I need in my life.  Appreciating what you have rather than thinking about what you don’t have is the key to increasing your happiness, and for me happiness is very motivational and inspirational.

Sometimes it’s in the little moments that you find great inspiration.  There are many people and moments that I find inspirational, I don’t think I could really articulate it well except to say that it’s a feeling, a sense of connection to others and that it is very powerful and uplifting.  I find it to be similar to an “aha” moment, because it can feel that powerful.  Like the “aha” is the moment of greater insight, the “inspiration” is the moment of greater passion and purpose.  Inspiration helps to drive the motivation and at times when you have a difficult time sustaining the motivation try using “the prize” as that assistance.  Below is one of “my prizes” and I keep this visual picture and others in my mind and in front of me when I need it.

I don’t think it takes a lot of searching to find out what your “prizes” are, I believe everyone has them.  Finding your inspiration and motivation to create the reality is definitely worth it!

 
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Posted by on October 2, 2012 in Blog

 

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No More Seconds For Me!

25 Sep

Don’t Settle for Second Best

The defining moment of either of these for each of us is the intention within when making the conscious choice.

  • Compromise:  An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
  • Sacrifice:  A sacrifice is a loss or something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause.

Both of these are good choices but only at the right time for you and only for the right reasons.

The questions to ask yourself when you are contemplating either compromise or sacrifice are the genuine reasons behind your consideration.

1)      Do I have all the facts?

2)      Is it because I don’t have the patience to wait?

3)      Is it because I don’t think I deserve any better?

4)      Am I sacrificing one need for another?

I have compromised in the past and each time I’ve done this it hasn’t been a good decision, mostly because the intention for compromising was influenced by either lack of wisdom or lack of faith.

My lack of wisdom was that I did not pay attention or listen to my inner voice, my gut instincts, my soul.  The wisdom I lacked was not recognizing when my inner voice was struggling to be heard and allowing my ego to quiet that inner voice.  The ego can lead us into such turmoil and can do so easily because it overinflates our thoughts into believing a tainted version of the truth.  It’s so important to allow your inner voice to help guide you during important decisions, every time I’ve ignored my inner voice it has turned into a very rude awakening and has set me back significantly.  It’s really hard at the beginning when allowing yourself to hear and listen to your inner voice but once you make that shift, it will become your default and you will hear it more often and much clearer.

My lack of faith was that I did not trust in what I wanted or saw for my future or that it would come into my life when the time was right.  I felt that it was out of my reach or a too big a dream so I decided to settle for what was available and easy to obtain in the now because I had become too impatient to wait or believe.  In settling I found that I still had passion for those bigger dreams and because of that realization I now try to recognize when that is happening so I don’t ever settle again.

I have sacrificed, although in looking back at the past it doesn’t feel so much like sacrifices now because it has taken me in directions that has opened up my world and brought in such great people, opportunities and knowledge.  It seems like sacrifice for me has been more of a leap into a greater unknown that has ultimately been of huge benefit.

Regardless of the reason you need to be at peace with the choices you make and if you’re not then it will keep showing up in your life until you make it right.  The inner voice, gut instinct, soul; no matter how you refer to it, it is what aligns you with your physical body.  If the two are not in sync then it will keep trying to align and the longer you resist the more damage you do to yourself, the more conflict and turmoil you will feel within.

I’ve realized that settling for many different reasons at different times in my life, regardless of the reason I may have had at the time, was never a good enough one and inevitably left me still looking toward what I was initially striving for.

I’ve tried to take advantage of every opportunity whether it has turned out to be a good or bad one because I would rather take the chance so that I don’t spend the rest of my life wondering “what if” and have regret. 

I’ve realized that I want to take on the challenge because then I am at least giving myself the chance to discover if it’s really something I still want to pursue, or it could lead me in a totally different direction that I might have not otherwise discovered.

 
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Posted by on September 25, 2012 in Blog

 

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Think Positive, Be Happy

18 Sep

Blue Sky’s Ahead!

Find the silver lining, it’s always there, sometimes you just have to change your view.  Just like looking through a kaleidoscope, it’s constantly changing and although every turn is a new design and different colors, the beauty is in how you view it.

Not everything is as bleak as it seems, it’s all a matter of perception.  I’ve had my moments of not being able to see out of the dark hole I’ve dug myself into because I thought that I had no way out but that was just the illusion I created because I allowed negativity in.  When I take a step back and insist to myself that, “I am going to find the silver lining”, it starts to appear.  A good tool I’ve used is the pros and cons list, once you place in your mind that you are committed to looking for a positive outcome you will find it and chances are you will find more than one good idea on your pros list.  Even though you may have more cons than pros at first, at least you’ve discovered that the options equal a way out.

I know that at times it can be easier said than done, negativity is definitely a tough rut when you are in it but it is essential to your well-being that you find a way to pull yourself out, in my mind negativity is the equivalent to catching a cold or the flu.  Sometimes the negativity cold is mild and goes away in a few days, sometimes the negativity flu lasts a couple of weeks and then you are able to shake it, but sometimes it becomes more substantial and attaches itself like a cyst to your insides.  This is when you have to fight it with everything you’ve got to kick it out of your system, the reason you feel so terrible when negativity has got a hold on you is because it is a sickness and you can’t allow it to stay in your system.

Like I said my first line of defense is the pros and cons list, once I’ve done that I start to progress each of the pros options and gravitate in that direction.  The negativity cannot survive in my positive mindset, it will continue to try to invade my positive mind but as long as I remain strong and keep exploring the pros options it will have no chance except to leave.  It may come back every once in a while but since I’ve developed a process that works for me, it won’t be able to sustain itself.

In progression from the pros and cons list is my use of a vision board to provide me with the daily visualization of my road of positivity.  The vision board coupled with the written options helps my mind to easily see the future unfold as I desire.  I don’t necessarily need to carry around an actual vision board, placing it somewhere that I can see it on a daily basis is enough, although you could also use a notepad and have the visualizations in there and carry that around with you, it may provide you with a stronger sense of positive direction.  At first when I started trying this I did the list and the vision board and I knew that I had the right intentions but I realized that my actions didn’t match them.  I couldn’t just sit around waiting for my life to pick up, I actually needed to make a plan and follow the steps that take me in that direction toward my desired outcome.  It was like I was waiting for Ed McMahon to just come to my door and tell me I’ve won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes when I didn’t even enter.  It doesn’t work that way!

Simply stated:  If you’re going to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk!

Negativity gets in much like that of a cold, when your immune system is low due to little sleep and/or being run down you can easily catch a cold.  The same goes for negativity, it gets in when you’ve had a bad day or bad encounter with someone, either scenario provides the opening that negativity needs to flourish, the question is are you going to fan the flames or smother it.

The biggest and most important factor within all of this is the conscious choice to choose happy, choose the positive and stay strong in that choice.  Don’t allow anyone to have any power over your positivity, happiness or your direction in life.

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2012 in Blog

 

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I Believe!

11 Sep

The Foundation of all that is Possible

Believing in yourself and your dreams is the foundation that builds the reality and it’s the most essential component right from the beginning.  The dreams and desires are the easiest to determine, I think everyone has either a dream job, dream vacation or the entire dream life in mind.  I do not know the percentage of those that realize or do not realize their dreams but I do believe that what separates them are:

–          Belief

–          Courage

–          Determination

I’ve always felt that our belief system at its core is stored within the subconscious mind.  We are awake for a certain amount of hours in a day but when we daydream or sleep we cannot override the thoughts in our subconscious.  If the thoughts within your subconscious are in alignment with your conscious mind and you truthfully believe in you then believing in your dreams won’t be a problem.  If, deep down, you feel you aren’t deserving, for whatever reason, that belief is stored in your subconscious mind and will keep you from realizing your dreams.  Your subconscious is the default, the autopilot, like when you drive somewhere and you arrive at your destination but cannot clearly remember all the turns.  It’s not that your weren’t fully alert while driving but while your conscious mind was thinking about the day ahead your subconscious mind, completely aware, carried on the drive.

When people receive hypnosis perhaps to quit a bad habit or feel more empowered, they are put into an altered state of being (the subconscious) because in there lies the opportunity to re-program.  Same as playing CD’s while sleeping as an alternative to hypnosis.

Our conscious mind is not always aware of the subconscious mind but the subconscious mind is fully aware of the conscious mind so you can still continue to go about your day even when your conscious mind is distracted by the busy thoughts in daily life.

There are many things we do without thinking because they have become “second nature” so we do not hesitate and that is the subconscious mind, it’s like the hard drive of the human being.  For myself I’ve always used the analogy of the subconscious as relating to the old-style Jukebox.  You put the money in and the arm scans until it comes across the correct selected record and pulls it out to play.  The things I remember, I store them in my mind like the Jukebox and when I randomly need that info my brain scans until it finds the correct selected memory and brings it to my conscious mind.

I think everyone has old information, that may be either useless or not, but you still remember it, this is how powerful the subconscious mind is.  Imagine if you program in there your belief in yourself, your desire to succeed and your belief that you can achieve anything you set out to do that you truly have your heart into.

Remember your conscious mind is not always aware of the subconscious mind but the subconscious mind is fully aware of the conscious mind.  This is a very powerful tool you have at your disposal, it doesn’t cost you anything except to feed it your own desires and intentions.

The outcome can be truly fantastic, if you let it.

If you don’t already have your belief in yourself in your subconscious mind then write a new program for yourself.  Write it down and keep it somewhere that you can see it often so that after a while it becomes “second nature” for your subconscious mind.

I’ve attacheda link below to a You Tube video of the song and lyrics to “I Believe” by Yolanda Adams, it’s such a great song, inspiring and motivating.

–          I Believe I Can

–          I Believe I Will

–          I Believe I Know my Dreams are Real

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8IilJRdtcw&feature=related

 

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2012 in Blog

 

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It’s All About Your Image

04 Sep

How Healthy is it?

I think everyone at one time or another, or maybe still, has had an unhealthy view of how they perceive themselves when they look in the mirror or step on the scale.  It seems like every aspect of life is incessantly defined and examined through various outlets of media attention highly focused on body image and the labels that are attached to it.

The negative focus on body image that is determining what is and isn’t beautiful is being projected by way of judgement and it’s so very wrong.  We are all individuals, unique only to ourselves, how can one projection of what is beautiful possibly be a one size fits all for everyone, there are distinct pieces of beauty within all of us.  You may have had the moment, as I’ve had, of staring in the mirror or at a picture taken and picking out all the imperfections that you see but not everyone sees those specific imperfections.  That is the part of us that is searching to measure up to the portrayal of “what beauty is” and it only takes one remark that pokes fun at that soft spot and it can possibly send you down the road of hurt and self-loathing, no one should have to endure that.

I’ve never defined who I associate with based on anything other than the person I see within, we are either compatible or we aren’t, and outward beauty has absolutely nothing to do with it.  I don’t believe that beauty is defined simply by appearance, not to say I don’t notice someone at first glance that has physical beauty but the real deal is beneath what we see on the surface.  The most significant aspect of a healthy body image starts from the inside out and the main concern should be physical health.  As long as your own physical health is not threatened than I say do what pleases you with pride.

Everything in our life affects what we project outwardly and what we project outwardly is a large part of our beauty and can be deeply affected by the positive or negative attitude of choice.  From my own experiences, I’ve noticed that I’m drawn to both the positive and negative for two very different reasons.

Those that have a positive attitude and state of being are usually energetic, ambitious and happy, I find their company to be alluring, intoxicating and contagious.

I’m drawn to some (not all) that have a negative attitude because my desire to share, inspire and cultivate the positive is so strong and I do believe that half of that negativity is not being able to see their own beauty.

The effects of other’s opinions can definitely contaminate our personal views of our own body image which then derails our confidence and self-esteem, and that opens up the breeding ground for negativity.  That negativity can alter our physical appearance in ways we couldn’t have expected.

How you view your personal appearance is significant to you first, it’s not about what others think you should or shouldn’t wear, eat or shouldn’t eat;  it’s about how you feel.  I think that when you are feeling most comfortable and healthy within your own skin you will find that the beauty you then project outward will be one of contentment and confidence in:

–          Knowing who you are

–          Embracing who you are

–          Loving who you are

When this point is reached it becomes really easy to let go of the expectations or labels that you may have allowed to temporarily change who you are and that opens the door to a much happier and healthier personal image.

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Blog

 

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Before Passing Judgement

28 Aug

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes

We really don’t know how someone else is feeling inside at any given moment, I think a lot of us have become really good at masking any feelings that are of a hurtful and negative nature, or at least we try to, some of us are more transparent than others.

I believe the energy spent to pretend nothing is wrong can be quite taxing on the spirit within and the outward affect can be to project that negativity onto others, most of the time it is not intentional.

When faced with an extreme situation it is natural to react from an emotional point of view and even if the situation doesn’t seem extreme to someone else, it may at the time feel extreme to the individual experiencing it and it’s not fair to make the judgement that it’s insignificant when you don’t live in their life every day.

My observations of these kinds of actions of judgement are that it is very much associated with the individual that is trying to cope with hurt or disappointment by pretending that nothing is wrong.  The burden of having to cope with that can be overwhelming and at some point they have to release some of the bottled up emotions to alleviate the intensity of this struggle, unfortunately acting out negatively is really unhealthy and does much more harm than good.

I believe it’s a cycle:

  • You’re hurt and upset, it’s becomes overwhelming and you project onto someone else
  • That someone judges you unfairly not knowing a thing about what you’re going through
  • You then experience more hurt from the judgement and the cycle starts again

This cycle is really harmful because it keeps you in a perpetual state of unhappiness and negativity.  The longer you stay in this cycle the more likely it is to manifest physically in your health, the only way out is to find a healthy and productive way to release it.  We are all unique and what works for one doesn’t always work for everyone, you just have to find the process that works best for you.

I’ve found that my best therapy for a healthier and more productive way to handle these feelings and emotions when they seem overwhelming and unbearable is to write my feelings out on paper.  The action of physically writing it and really connecting to my thoughts helps to take my mind out of the heightened level of disappointment and sadness that I may be feeling in that moment.  Even though the distraction is only temporary it gives me the time I need to address it, deal with it and release it.  It doesn’t fully release it from my thought process but it helps to minimize it enough to allow me to de-clutter my mind so I can then deal with it on a calmer level and eventually fully release it.

I’ve heard it said many times that when someone is projecting negativity onto you it usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and how they are feeling inside but knowing that doesn’t make negative actions or words directed at you any easier.  It just becomes something you need to find a way to deal with and let go of.  Always consider the source and how instrumental they actually are in your life and that should help to minimize the overall effect.

I recently watched an “Oprah” show (re-run) and the discussion was about a man in Brazil (John of God).  Closing comments on this show was the perceptions of a Dr. Jeff Rediger of his experience there.

  • Perhaps the real heart within us is not just a pump
  • Perhaps the real heart within us is about Love and Faith
  • Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are
  • Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around and the body is just an instrument or metaphor or something we are trying to learn

For me his comments shine a light on the greater purpose of our existence and reinforce my thoughts that all acts of negativity and ego-related behaviours are so irrelevant in comparison.

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Blog

 

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Some Emotions Can Run Deep!

21 Aug

It’s not always Healing, Sometimes it’s Adapting to Move Forward

The deep and lasting effects of emotional hurt and/or trauma can feel like they may not heal and sometimes it’s not always healing that occurs, it’s adapting and making changes to move forward and away from the emotional scars that may be holding you back.  The option between healing or adapting to move forward isn’t always a choice because emotional scarring is tied to the emotional part of our being and our emotions are not always something that can be controlled.  Feelings can be suppressed but only for a period of time, at some point they are going to come back to the surface and have to be dealt with and for every time you push them back down, they tend to come back stronger and stronger with each time they re-surface until it becomes too overwhelming to have enough strength to suppress them again.

The choice in the timing of when we have to deal with an issue that has re-surfaced isn’t always an option but the decision on where you choose to go from there is.  We all have more personal strength within us than we usually give ourselves credit for and choosing to face the challenges to live a healthier and happier life is a decision I don’t think anyone would ever regret.

It takes twice the amount of your personal energy to maintain suppressing an emotional issue and I think that’s why we always hear the expression “it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders” when someone has finally dealt with an issue they had been suppressing.  The weight being the energy you are utilizing to maintain that suppression.  When you deal with it to move forward, you are no longer carrying the weight of that burden of energy required to avoid dealing with the emotional pain.

A few years back I had read a book that had a couple of chapters about a child’s “formative years”, I had always thought that the formative years ran somewhere between 7 – 12 years of age and was surprised to read that it was much earlier, as in age birth to 5 years of age.  I was aware that from the time we are born that babies to toddlers know what is going on around them and can sense disharmony but I had thought that the formative years were later in life because I myself had more solid memories of events from that timeframe of age.  In thinking back while I was reading this book I realized that the emotional memories of closeness and familial bonds had to be earlier than I could actually recall because I was too young then to understand, recognize or desire anything else but I inherently knew that they stemmed more from a feeling or sense of awareness.

It’s this time period of our life that ultimately forms the foundation of who we are to become and what energetic state of being that we become pre-disposed to, whether that energetic state is positive or negative.  Parenting and family are the most significant part of our foundation and can either inspire or damage the spirit within.  Nurturing is such an important and relevant component of our development and needs when we are young, any indifference, negativity or neglect can permanently alter the shape in which we grow.  I don’t believe that means that positive development can never occur, I believe it changes the spirit within in ways that can never be restored to its previous form, like a violent image that can’t be unseen, a negative experience can’t be undone.  We can move forward but the emotional feelings generated from the experience remain.

It’s this foundation that creates the development of the character traits and I believe that there are variations of these character traits that are developed or not developed based on whether the formative year’s environment was positive or negative.  I also believe that there are degrees of emotional damage experienced during these formative years that may not be healed but can be accepted and adapted to in order to move forward and develop a more positive, productive and peaceful state of being.  There have been many movies produced that are based on true stories of individuals that have overcome difficult environments in their formative years and have transcended their circumstances to achieve just that.

There is no quick fix to alleviate emotional hurt, all wounds (physical or emotional) take time to heal but anything worth having is worth working for and our well-being is the most important state we need to maintain and nurture.

The most important aspect I want to express is that regardless of where the emotional hurt/trauma stems from if it’s affecting you negatively then it’s hurting you the most and the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to release it so that it no longer has any control or effect on your overall well-being.

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2012 in Blog

 

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