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Moving Forward

08 Jan

Evolving Means Change!

Not all things are lost during times of transition, some roots are strong enough to stand the test of time and there are both internal and external factors to consider within all experiences.

Sometimes things can get to the point where there is nothing left to give and no will to try because so much has been broken down that there is nothing left to build on.

I think that determination depends on what lies in your past, what you want to see in your future and whether or not you believe your consideration can stand that test of time.steve-jobs-on-finding-your-truth

When it comes down to evaluating the importance of all that you think is important right now in your life you may learn that what you placed value on doesn’t have the real value you had thought, especially within the bigger picture.

Sometimes we make decisions out of fear, sometimes out of emotion but a decision that isn’t in alignment with your inner spirit will always create conflict within because it just doesn’t feel right in your heart and that feeling is your confirmation.  If you are honoring your true spirit you will feel a sense of inner peace in everything you do.

We all have things to get past, everyone has something in their history they may feel shame and/or regret about but it starts with acceptance.  From acceptance comes forgiveness, and not in the way you may be thinking or expecting, a definition as quoted by Oprah Winfrey:

  • Forgiveness does not mean you have to accept the person back into your life.
  • It does not mean you are condoning what they did or that you are in any way saying it was OK what they did.
  • Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

From forgiveness comes the opportunity to start anew and there are many ways to change your life for the better.  You can do it in small steps or make a plan to change it all around at once but taking advantage of the opportunity to positively change your life is entirely yours to do.

I find there are great sources of inspiration within everything around us, in particular through verbal communication, whether you are in conversation with someone or observing it.  There are many great quotes & lines out there and I can really identify with this one from the movie “For Love of the Game”, which I thought was a good portrayal of the “out of body” experience one somewhat feels when reflecting on their life, choices and decisions they’ve made throughout.

“I used to believe, I still do, that if you give something your all, everything you have, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as you risked everything, put everything out there”

I live my life this way, not for any other reason than because I just can’t see living life any other way.  These are not just words but a path in life that offers the most rewards, through vision, karma and law of attraction.  Everything and everyone in your life is enriched by any experience and/or relationship that you bring your heart and spirit to.

Change-Quotes-5

 
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Posted by on January 8, 2014 in Blog

 

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I Wasn’t Mad at You!

10 Jul

I Was Mad at the Situation!

Have you ever said this to someone?  Did it have the outcome you expected?

Or:

Has someone ever said this to you?  How did it make you feel?

I’ve had this experience on the receiving end because honestly I could never say this to someone and actually think that it was ok.  The conclusion I’ve come to is that when someone says this it is because they are feeling helpless, inadequate or fearful and it seems to be a situationally based and reactive behaviour.  I believe that everyone’s feelings count but not when those feelings are used in a combative or hurtful way.

In a way this statement is an eye opener for you as to who the person really is and it reveals a lot about how they will handle any level of stress, especially if they are projecting their stress toward someone else.  It’s also a good indication of what you can expect to see in the future, similar to the theory “to see how someone deals with something give them a string of tangled christmas lights”, honestly that seems like a good theory.

We all have different levels of adversity to deal with in our lives, no one’s is more important the other’s, but if we all ran around biting each other’s heads off because we were mad about our challenges how would we ever learn to cope or gain wisdom while maintaining a level of integrity.

the problem

 

Even though I’ve heard many times that “people don’t change” or “leopards don’t change their spots” I believe that anyone can change their behaviourial lifestyle for the better, especially if it is currently working poorly for them, but the key is that they have to want to.  It’s hard work to make changes to behaviour, they are ingrained, they’ve developed from our early years and even though habits are very hard to break, they can be broken but in order to do that determination and willingness to meet that goal will be the biggest challenge.  My experience has led me to believe that anyone that makes this statement isn’t likely to change, not because they can’t but because they won’t.  They either don’t realize the effect they actually have on someone or they don’t take well to the response of hurt feelings and become defensive.

Any challenge that is difficult requires a strong and determined resolve to be successful and I’ve found that any time I attempt to do something I put my mind to there is no way I am going to allow myself to give up.  Any inkling that creeps into my mind telling me I can’t do something is not allowed to stay and that is my resolve and it works well for me.  Everyone is different though, just because my thought process works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for someone else and maybe each of us need to find some sort of adaptation that works to be successful.

It’s a big commitment to make a change like this, everyone has the ability and the opportunity but not everyone has the endurance to see it through to the end.  When you are going through something that is extremely challenging it’s a benefit to have some sort of validation from others that you are going to be successful but it’s not their validation that is the most important, it’s your own.  When you don’t get that validation it can become the reason to give up because it’s just too hard and no one’s patting you on the back yet anyway but that’s the test, the life lesson.

Life is full of challenges and how you deal, cope and adapt to those challenges is entirely your decision but I think it’s important to recognize and be aware of how those decisions may be affecting those around you that you care for.

good-bad life

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Blog

 

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You Can’t Change the Past!

19 Jun

But You can Build a Better Future

I think it goes for all relationships that if you carry your past attitude, behaviour and habits into your future relationships you end up building the same house.  Eventually it falls apart because the house is built on a foundation that has many cracks that haven’t been sealed (or healed).

past builds same house

There is no point in dwelling on what you cannot change, all you can do is learn from it, grow because of it and change in spite of it.  Our lessons are contained in all of the people and events that occur during our lives and if you feel like you keep getting caught in the same rut it may be because either you aren’t learning the lesson or you’re misreading it.

Regardless of a “who’s right or who’s wrong” scenario, we all have a part and each of us are responsible for what we do or don’t contribute.  Once you begin to recognize your part, whether significant or not, it will help you to change something that may not be working for you and keeps ending you up in the same outcome.  I love quotes and this one, from the movie (How do you Know?), was one I liked because it resonated with me:

We are all just one small adjustment away from making our lives work.

I really believe this to be true, sometimes it takes the littlest adjustment to my attitude, behavior or habits to effect an even bigger change, a change that works so much better that I’ve wondered “why didn’t I do this long ago?”

It’s not just the past that influences our life, there is also the challenge of the “two wolves theory”, which one are you feeding, and why?

two wolves

The two wolves are there to teach us many lessons and to give us the option of free will.

–          Without temptation, how do you learn to do the right thing?

–          Without ego, how do you learn to listen to your gut?

–          Without betrayal, how do you learn forgiveness?

Even though these can be difficult lessons to learn, they become invaluable going forward and they teach you so much about your own strengths and weaknesses and that knowledge can help you to identify where you might want to tweak things a little or a lot.

So how do you change it?

Writing a different future lies within the moment that you decide to take the opportunity to change that which you do not like about yourself so that you can attract the types of people you desire to have in your life.

You can’t change the past but you can build a better future!

 

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2013 in Blog

 

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Oh No! Not Again!

01 May

Some Patterns are Hard to Break

The most undesired moment of clarity comes when you realize that you have fallen into the same dynamic again within any or all of your relationships and trying to determine the root cause of this continual pattern can be a frustrating journey.

One thing for sure is that just because you find yourself in this predicament doesn’t mean you require a therapist to find your way out (unless you want to of course), it just means your awareness is expanding and that expansion is whispering to you to discover a better way of life, one that includes inner peace and contentment.

chance, change

I believe there are a couple key points to consider when starting down this particular road of self-discovery:

1)      From the time we are young we begin to develop habits and preferences based on our environment, our experiences and our desires.

In my opinion, our environment in our early years plays the most significant part in our development and future choices which I’ve discussed more in depth in one of my previous blogs “Some Emotions Can Run Deep”. 

2)      What is modelled to us through the relationships during our formative years, regardless of whether or not they are healthy, becomes familiar and that familiarity can end up being the stepping stone that leads us down a similar path and into a similar relationship dynamic.

Obviously no one chooses to deliberately become involved in relationships that can be disheartening or damaging but sometimes that can’t be avoided, familiarity (whether healthy or not) can be the trigger that draws you in.change ahead

The only way to keep a pattern like this from repeating is to find its root cause and learn what the triggers are that lead your emotions to pull you in that direction.

It may be that whatever you think the root cause is isn’t actually the root cause at all.  My own discoveries were so simple in theory that it almost seemed ridiculous to me, I figured it had to be something obscure and so deeply ingrained that I would have had to peel back layers and layers of life to figure it out but that wasn’t the case at all.  My realization was that I was I compromising one need to fill another but that these two needs were never connected in any way so it was impossible for my way of dealing with this pattern to ever work.  Even though this discovery seems like a “no brainer” to me now, it wasn’t then and that’s because my awareness had not yet developed enough to allow me that insight.

When you feel imprisoned by your pattern your world can seem bleak and restrictive so the earlier these inklings of insight and awareness start the earlier your life can begin to evolve towards a more positive, productive and healthier state of mind.  Our awareness is continually expanding and with every year that passes we have the opportunity to gain further insight and personal development.

Gratitude is a good place to start, there are so many aspects of our lives that could be compromised worse than they actually are.  If you were to stand in a circle with a group of people and everyone put their troubles in the middle I think you might find that after viewing their troubles you would be glad to pick your own back up, walk away and have gratitude that things could have been much worse.

gratitude

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2013 in Blog

 

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Serendipity is Magical!

24 Apr

Don’t Chase Destiny, Let it Find You

My interpretation of Serendipity is allowing destiny to unfold as the universe has intended and embracing those moments along the way.  Even if that Serendipity is not something you’ve had on your radar of desires I think it’s important to at least acknowledge and consider the possibilities.  I’ve attached the actual definition I googled below:

Serendipity:  an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident

I experienced specific times when Serendipity was at play and I always used to refer to those times as Divine Intervention, although I don’t think it really matters how you personally interpret it, just that you recognize and/or allow it into your life to work its magic.

If you think back to the insignificant moments in your life that ultimately had a bigger impact then you had realized at the time, ask yourself, did you embrace those moments or resist them?  Or were they so casual at the time that you weren’t aware of their part in the bigger picture?  When you make these connections later it’s amazing to see how integral certain moments were and how different the direction of your life may have been had those casual encounters not occurred.

There are probably a lot of ways you can reflect and evaluate each and every occurrence in your life but I think mostly I’m asking about the moments that felt oddly familiar or significant in some way, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.  I’m sure there are many and there are a few for me that are still unanswered that I haven’t put the pieces together on yet and I’m looking forward to that moment of clarity.

destiny

It’s a matter of trusting and believing that your destiny (whatever that may be) will present itself when the time is perfectly right and having faith that your destiny is in alignment with all the seeds you have sewn so far.  We are all meant to have good in our lives, it’s unfortunate that we can get too sidetracked by the negative aspects in our human existence but they are there to test our strength of character and sometimes tempt us down the wrong path.  These challenges can seem impassable but they are always valuable lessons that are necessary to our destiny.  I do believe that there is always hope to change a path that is causing any kind of turmoil in your life and I think the best way to interpret difficulty is to realize that these tests are tough because you are meant for greater things that require greater strength and that difficulty will shape you into the person you need to be to live your specific destiny.

My bottom line:

–          Don’t cut yourself off from embracing something just because it is unknown, have faith that “Everything happens for a Reason”, the reason will become clear to you when you are fully ready for it.

–          Don’t let negativity win, you are more powerful than you may think or realize at this time

–          Do try to find the silver lining even in the difficult times for it will lead to a more positive state of being, which is the kryptonite to negativity.

Serendipity occurs to remind you that there is still magic left in your life and when those moments occur; embrace them, allow them to play out without resistance and I bet it will lead you to a life you couldn’t have imagined or written for yourself.

serendipity

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Transitions of Life!

10 Apr

Without Change We Wouldn’t have Growth

I’m watching another installment of Oprah’s Lifeclass with Pastor Rick Warren, author of “The Purpose Driven Life” and one thing in particular he has just talked about is something that sparked my interest immediately:

change is a process

“The Transitions of Life”

“There is no growth without change, no change without loss and no loss without pain and that is Grief.”  “Fear and Resentment are the things that will hold you back.”

Pastor Rick Warren’s definition of the difference between success and significance:

–          “Everybody’s life is driven by something. 

–          There are a lot of successful people whose lives are driven by guilt. 

–          There are a lot of successful people who are driven by the approval of others.”

“If you live for the approval of others, you will die by their rejection”

“The two biggest barriers to you fulfilling your purpose in life is envy and people pleasing. 

–          Envy is, I must be like you to be happy. 

–          People pleasing is, I must be liked by you to be happy.

Those two things will cause you to miss God’s purpose for your life! 

You have to live for an audience of one!

I found that these statements are very powerful because our emotions, like fear and resentment can become so ingrained within us that it can start to control us whether we want it to or not.  These two emotions especially can keep you from experiencing and progressing through your life as you are meant to.

Fear can be paralyzing, it can prevent you from taking the risks that may improve your life in more ways than you can imagine and can cause you to doubt your own capabilities.

Resentment can be imprisoning because it can cause you to replay, over and over, events in your life that were damaging to your emotional state of being and by continuing to hold on to that resentment you will likely feel the hurt of those memories often, possibly even daily.

Loss, whether someone has passed on or a relationship has run its course transitions us to grief and during that grief process is the opportunity for healing.  All things change even if we don’t think we want them to but every ending is the beginning of something new.

These transitions, once recognized for their true meaning, can change your entire life if you let it, especially when you allow yourself to have faith that “all things will work out as they should, and when they should”.  I believe in that statement and even when things feel unknown I am very confident that at some point it will all make sense and usually it does!  I don’t challenge the timing of when that light bulb will go on and I’ll figure out how all those pieces of the puzzle fit together, I would drive myself crazy if I did that!  I just know that whatever the outcome is it will be what is best for me and that it’s all part of the bigger picture of my life that I will eventually come into.

When looking back 5 or even 10 years I couldn’t have possibly guessed that I would be where I am at now and I have such anticipation for what the next chapters of my life hold.  I’m excited and hopeful for a future that is fitting of the transitions that I’ve had in my life so far.  Of course I have ideas and dreams of where I want my future to go but so far everything I’ve thought had in my sights has turned into something completely different and better so I know that whatever direction is mapped out for my future is one that I will fit into comfortably.

faith in god, faith in timing

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Moment of Truth!

03 Apr

Victim or Victor?

We all have a choice!  That choice is to live your life as either the victim or the victor.  Which side of that moment of truth is affecting your life?  We all have challenges that change us, what defines us is how we make it through those challenges and whether or not we come out on the other side with more wisdom than we went in with.  We are meant to learn and grow, use the wisdom we acquire to assist us on our journey and not let the hard times defeat us.

We all have a story that we tell over and over either internally, out loud, or both and that story can either inspire great change or imprison you.  It is difficult to have challenge after challenge, especially when those challenges feel so defeating that you don’t think you have the energy or will to keep going.  I always view the harder challenges as defining moments for myself and believe that there is a reason within the greater picture for them to be presented in my life.  Even though some are very difficult on my emotions I embrace them as blessings and believe that their magnitude only translates to a greater destiny for myself.  This personal theory allows me to get through them faster and helps me to maintain my faith and develop a stronger sense of hope for the future.

I find that much later after going through something challenging that in reflection I can finally see the difficulty in the degree it actually was and usually we view things as being worse than they actually are when we are in the midst of them.

challenges

I recently came across some wisdom imparted by Deepak Chopra from the Introduction in his book “Creating Affluence” that I thought was such a great concept, one that I intend to incorporate into my daily thoughts.

A spiritual teacher once said “There are two Goddesses that reside in the heart of every human being.  Everybody is deeply in love with these supreme beings.  But there is a certain secret that you need to know, and I will tell you what it is.”

“Although you love both Goddesses, you must pay more attention to one of them.  She is the Goddess of Knowledge, and her name is Sarasvati.  Pursue her, love her, and give her your attention.  The other Goddess, whose name is Lakshmi, is the Goddess of Wealth.  When you pay more attention to Saravati, Lakshmi will become extremely jealous and pay more attention to you.”  The more you seek the Goddess of Knowledge, the more the Goddess of Wealth will seek you.  She will follow you wherever you go and never leave you.  And the wealth you desire will be yours forever.”

Honestly this makes sense because the more you pursue knowledge, the more it changes your focus and intention.  Sometimes our attention to the lesser gratification can impede us from discovering the greater manifestation.

Embrace your moment of truth, listen to the Universe’s whisper as it guides you to your destiny.

truth

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2013 in Blog

 

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Out on a Limb!

27 Mar

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

This is where the biggest and most rewarding opportunities exist, the question is do you have enough faith to walk on the weaker branches in the hopes that you may find what you truly desire?  It takes great risk to gain a greater sense of freedom and happiness and even though I know this I sometimes hesitate to step ahead and away from the safety net that I prefer.  That safety net provides me with stability but not unlimited movement and it’s within the unlimited movement that an abundance of options and opportunities are waiting for me.

out on a limb

It’s crazy to think how easy it is to talk ourselves out of an opportunity that can ultimately change our lives in so many ways but I’ve done it, so I know it’s possible.  The reason I believe we sometimes talk ourselves out of pursuing something we desire is because “what if I can’t do it” or “what if I fail”.  The truth is it isn’t actually failure, we are meant to try but we aren’t always meant to succeed because it’s through that attempt that we find an inner strength that is needed to serve us in another endeavor, one we may not have gained otherwise.

I like to think of these instances as creative mistakes, mistakes that help point us in the direction we are supposed to be heading.  It’s as simple as searching for a friend’s home and turning down the wrong street, would you think you failed if you did that?  Not likely, you would just think “Geez, went down the wrong street”, now how do I get there from here?  The reason it is so minimal when it’s in that context is because going down the wrong street isn’t a big issue because there isn’t a huge emotional investment in searching for a friend’s home but there is in say a career choice or matters of the heart.  Of course the bigger goals and dreams will definitely carry a bigger emotional attachment because there is so much more riding on it and I can totally relate.scare yourself

The biggest indication for me that I am on the verge of a great opportunity is that I feel like I am scaring myself and sometimes that vulnerability can impair the courage that drives me forward but I know that I need to feel that so I can learn to trust and believe in myself.

My moment of truth in making the conscious decision to step outside of my comfort zone more than I stay in it will create the shift that will open up my world to a beauty that is beyond what I can imagine.

Not everything occurs as we may hope, believe or expect and if we knew the outcome of every experience we were in then I don’t think we would truly experience it as we are meant to.  All experiences that occur in our lives are there to teach and help us grow into the life we are meant to live.  If you aren’t living the life you want or desire, venture out onto the weaker branches as far as you can bring yourself to go, it is there where the best fruit is waiting for you!

We are all given the necessities that we require to achieve what we desire.  If you never try you will never know what you could really accomplish!

Imagine, Believe, Achieve!

three simple rules

 

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2013 in Blog

 

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The Road Less Travelled

13 Mar

Is Usually the Easiest Path

The only thing is, it’s so easy that it can feel too good to be true and too easy to be right!  Are you searching to find your happiness or naturally allowing it to happen?

Allowing it to happen naturally is usually the road less travelled because it’s well-known that hard work presents the greatest rewards and while that is true, you also need to be open to allow the fruits of your labour to flourish.

follow-your-bliss

The natural embrace of allowing things to occur creates a variety of opportunities that you might not have otherwise seen because you were too focused on controlling the outcome.  Being in control of your life is good but like everything variety is a necessity and too much control can diminish the element of surprise and opportunity.

When searching to find your happiness it can seem at times like things just aren’t going the way you want them and that’s because rather than trying to forcefully steer your ship against the current, you sometimes need to go with it and find the openings and opportunities along the way.  Like a give and go, you advance when the opening comes and hang back when it’s time to strategize for the next leg of the journey.

I have had difficulty at times because I am a “get it done now” type of person, when I know what I want I go in that direction and patience can be my opposition.  It’s difficult for me to rein it in and allow things to occur as they should because I know that ultimately the universe knows best and knows when the right time is for change to occur.  I do trust that but find that I have to remind myself constantly to have faith, pay attention to the signs and watch for the opportunities because they will come, hope guides me.

“When you follow your bliss doors will open where there were no doors before and where there are no doors for anyone else”  –  Joseph Campbell

My perspective on this quote is that no opportunity presented behind the door will be the same for any other individual.  We are all unique, no two people experience any one thing the same emotionally and our emotion is what connects us to others and helps us to determine what we like and don’t like, which in turn determines which direction we choose to go.  If you are following your bliss (allowing things to occur naturally) then you are more likely to be opening those doors.  If you are too focused on controlling where you want to go (searching for your happiness) then you may not even see the door of opportunity when it presents itself because you are closed off and going in one focused direction.

When you follow your bliss rather than search for it you aren’t forcing it and that is what opens up all the doors that you seek.  It is that relaxed state of being that creates the moments, the opportunities, the gifts and the happiness, like the phrase “good things come to those who wait”.  It doesn’t mean do nothing and wait for it, it means plant your seeds and wait for them blossom.

If you want something positive to happen in your life you first must be open to letting it in.

the road less travelled

 

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2013 in Blog

 

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You Need to Step Up for Change to Happen

06 Mar

Go Hard or Go Home!

Are you in a Rut?

Are you Living your Dreams?

Or are you Just Getting By?

If you aren’t satisfied with where you are at or where your life is going then I believe these are the questions you might want to consider.  I found after asking myself these questions that I had a whole new set of questions that followed.

Where do I want my life to go?

What do I consider Living my Dreams?

What fulfills me?

What is my Purpose?

Some of these questions may seem easy but they weren’t, oh sure, where I want my life to go is obviously somewhere good, somewhere happy and somewhere fulfilling but I didn’t know what that looked like.  Figuring that out takes a lot of thought and true soul searching and knowing where to start isn’t a given for anyone but I found that the answers to these questions definitely helped point me in the right direction.

ambition v8 engine

Everything I do is full on (Go Hard or Go Home!), I don’t like to do anything half-way, I don’t see the point, but of course I think that’s just part of my work ethic and personality, something anyone athletic or competitive can identify with, tenacity is the key to success.  Having those traits that I applied to the many sports I played made it frustrating for me to not have any idea or direction of what I wanted to do in life.  In sports, it’s easy, you already know what the end result is supposed to look like, but life goals?  That’s a whole other game!  I had a blurred vision of the emotional aspect of where I wanted my life to go which was the (somewhere good, somewhere happy, somewhere fulfilling) but I had no idea what the purpose or the work was that would be associated and that was because I needed these questions to help me.  Again with the questions, I had more that followed!

What’s my first step?

What’s my second step?

What’s my third step?

There was no end to these questions and there still isn’t!  I am still in hot pursuit of my goals and have no intention of letting up, not for any other reason than it’s too important to me to give up.  I found a quote from a movie “A Cinderella Story” that fits perfectly.

“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game”

How true this quote is, you have to step up to create change for yourself, it’s the only way.  You can’t expect anyone else to do it for you or to fulfill your dreams, there’s no sense of accomplishment in that and if something means that much to you then giving up isn’t an option.  Your rewards come from accomplishing things for yourself and being able to say “I did that!” or “I was part of that”.  Either on your own or collectively no one else can create the glow of accomplishment and inner reward but you!

If you want something, you have to make it happen!

success

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 6, 2013 in Blog

 

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