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Bring It On!

01 Oct

Facing the Challenge

Challenges not only define our character but they build it as well.

Who are you really?  Are you someone that pushes the limits to achieve because you feel so strongly that it is your destined path?  Or do you say to yourself “I’m not sure, I’ll sit back and wait” and then never try because it’s easier?

I am someone who pushes the limits, I like a challenge, I think for me that comes from being an athlete in competitive team sports.  I don’t get as much athletic sport in as I used to, responsibilities are more in demand but competition has always been very inspiring and motivating for me.  Chances are if you’ve ever taken part in any team sport “sitting back and waiting” isn’t a desired skill of any team player, you have to get in there and dig a little.

Although being a team player doesn’t necessarily mean that “pushing the limits” is carried out in your daily life as well, you may feel you’re not as confident alone as you are with the team.  It all depends on you personally, what your goals and intentions are and how strongly you feel about what you want out of this life.

adversity

Recently I had to adapt to a difficult and challenging experience and I have to admit that while in the midst of it I did not feel very strong but now through it and out on the other side I’ve found that it has expanded my awareness and opened my beliefs to a higher level of appreciation.  Every life experience, no matter the level of difficulty, is there to teach us something.  We all go through experiences that ultimately are there to make us a better person and we have two choices.  We can either recognize, learn and grow from them or we can ignore them and wallow in our dislike of the experiences.

Obviously the more challenging the experience the greater the demand is for inner strength to endure it and depending on the circumstances and how much support you have around you, it can affect how well you cope.  Sometimes being alone can put you in the company of your worst enemy.

I’ve had conversations with others who have evoked the same emotion at that moment that they felt at the time when recalling something that made them sad.  It’s amazing how the heart can hold onto an emotion for what seems like an eternity even well after a challenging transition has concluded.  I think sometimes it can feel surprising that our emotion just sits there below the surface, dormant until something triggers it.

I feel that this recent experience was meant to break me open yet again to propel me onto a new path and eventually when I do take a glance back to see how far I’ve come I will be surprised, monumental change is ahead and it’s all positive!

My faith was challenged, as was my inner strength but now I say “Bring it On!”, I have the determination to not let my challenges or tests break or weaken me, I know they are meant to make me stronger.  It all starts with taking that “leap of faith”; a real “leap of faith” means believing in something so fiercely that there is no possibility for any other outcome other than that which you believe in.  That belief cannot be deterred by circumstance, delay or setbacks; it is ignited by signs and omens that insinuate and fan the flames of our imagination and intuition of that which we see in our mind’s eye and will come to be.

Remember, it’s not about what you take with you, it’s about what you build and authenticity is the most important character trait you can possess.  Genuine, heartfelt emotional connections to others are the bread of life and it’s through those connections that we find who we are meant to be, what we are meant to do and where we are meant to go and ultimately who will be with us.

Those kindred spirits are the ones we are meant to connect with, the ones we travel through this life with and the ones we can’t do without.  Build that life and only happiness can follow.

best things must be felt

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2013 in Blog

 

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Trying to Find my Balance Again!

24 Sep

During a Time that Feels Wildly Unbalanced

The spectrum of emotions that has plagued my mind for the last month and a half has definitely taken its toll by making me feel completely unbalanced and out of sync.

As I wrote about in one of my recent posts “Very Challenging Time”, A my daughter’s Scoliosis journey presented detours that I hadn’t expected.  Almost a month after her surgery she was finally released from the hospital and I felt positive about the road to recovery from there but what I hadn’t foreseen was that we would be back at the hospital 4 days later because one of the infections she had (unrelated to the surgery) had come raging back with a vengeance.

The time period that evolved when the doctors were trying to determine the source of her sickness was terrifying, to say the least, they covered everything and I mean everything!  As a parent it is difficult to have to sit back and watch them work especially if your child is stressed by it, as I had said my daughter recently had Scoliosis surgery with rods and screws fused to her spine and only a month ago.  I realize that they have to determine the source of her sickness but I have to admit it was extremely difficult to watch them push up and down her spine to see if she flinched anywhere.  I’m thinking “of course it bothers and hurts her some, what would anyone expect after only a month given the significance of the surgery”, I kept asking them to call someone from that team of specialists because they all knew her case intimately but until they had determined that was the cause that wasn’t going to happen.  As I said I realize they weren’t trying to hurt her and wanted to make sure they checked every avenue so they could get her the appropriate treatment but it was really difficult to watch and as I write this it makes me feel like I’m making this all about me but as a parent, their pain and discomfort feels 100 times yours.  You could throw anything in my path and I can handle it but it’s amazing how anything to do with our children can bring us to our knees and provoke such a feeling of helplessness.confined by walls you build yourself

After 48 hours of constant testing, poking, prodding and only 1 ½ hours sleep for my daughter it was finally determined that one of previous infections had not been fully eliminated so course of treatment followed and after a few days she started to respond and get back to being herself and after another 8 days in the hospital she has been released again.

I’m trying to find my balance again but it’s difficult because I feel like the threat of this re-occurring is looming around me and I am hesitant to allow myself into the space of feeling confident that things are going to be Ok.  The slightest instance of any symptom for pretty much anything out there keeps terrorizing my mind and I know that this is only possible because I am basically “running on empty”.  As much as the first round scared me, the second round has completely drained me and severely challenged my inner strength and faith.  I know it will come back but it may take me some time to trust it.  I also know I’m lucky and blessed that her prognosis is positive but my mind won’t allow me to fully embrace that yet.

There are many parents out there with children that are sick and the source is unknown or the source is known and the outcome is not positive and I can’t even imagine what life must be like for them or how they manage to deal with it daily.  I can only offer my sincerest compassion for the roller coaster ride I’m sure they are constantly on, as with everything (including health challenges) there are ups and down, good days and bad days.  I can only hope and pray for those that are currently in the midst of these kinds of challenges that the good days fill their hearts with enough love to carry them through the bad ones.

As I always say “Everything happens for a reason” and one of my beliefs is that we don’t go through difficult challenges for no reason.  There is a purpose, and I’ve always believed that we are put through difficulty to make us stronger for something that is to come in our future.  Even though I know my difficulty at this time isn’t as difficult as others it makes me wonder what is ahead that requires me to develop as much strength as it’s taking me to get through this.

I have, am and always will be about “all things positive” and I know I will get back there but this dip at this time has set me back more than I could have ever imagined or predicted.  The positive aspect of this experience is that it has increased my understanding, empathy and admiration for those that power through these difficult experiences with great integrity and strength of character.

strong person

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2013 in Blog

 

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Spring Cleaning in the Fall

13 Sep

A Necessary Form of Healing

There comes a time when you need to clean out the areas of your brain where the stuck tape keeps playing, the tape that keeps you in a perpetual cycle that is out of sync with the Law of Attraction.  As of late my life has been extremely busy and demanding which has caused me to deplete my own levels of tolerance and patience.  When those two areas of my life run low it reduces my ability to fend off the negativity virus.

The negativity virus comes in many forms, not just thoughts but also actions which cause reactions and consequences and even though I know I’ve pushed the boundaries at times, I’ve learned that honest communication and sincere humility can be the positive aspect in changing the direction of that outcome.

I find that when I get in those funks it heightens my desire to “help others see the light”, which in hindsight becomes ridiculous.  I have no right to do that and even though I’ve learned to recognize when those areas are depleted there are times when I don’t catch it quickly enough and that causes me even more inner frustration and that frustration only perpetuates the virus.  I’ve just now realized that I’ve depleted myself and recognized that I’m at the beginning of that path and it’s time to stop!

I call it a negativity virus because it feels like a virus, like the flu it makes you feel like you aren’t yourself, cranky and out of sorts and your immune system is lowered which is the opening negativity needs to get in.

Unfortunately I have really high expectations for myself and falling onto that path, no matter what the reason, just won’t do.  It’s not so much that I feel I’ve failed, I don’t view things as failures but rather opportunities to make adjustments to my liking.  My attitude is very much determined and focused, I know where I want to go and usually I want to get there now!  Needless to say patience and tolerance weren’t my strongest suits when I was younger and over the years I’ve learned to develop them but they are usually the first things to go when the tank starts to run on empty.

people don't forget how you made them feel

I think we all have our moments of weakness and how we handle them or rather correct them is what defines us.  The most important thing that I’ve always been conscious of is to “think before I speak”, some things can’t be unsaid and they are usually the most damaging ones that you want to take back.  Now at the same time I do believe that honesty and sincerity are absolutely essential if you are trying to rectify that kind of accidental communication.

I won’t say I’ve never said something I’ve regretted and at the time I’m quite sure I had the momentary satisfaction of blurting something out but the key word is momentary.  The period of regret for that moment was much longer and the best teacher for learning to “think before I speak”.

So how do I reinstate my levels of tolerance and patience?

Awareness and recognition is the first step, honest reflection is the second step and whatever process it takes for me to recharge my batteries is the third step.

I find that once I’ve become aware and recognized I’m depleted it propels me into the honest reflection stage and rejuvenation usually falls into place shortly after.  The way to deal is different for everyone, whatever works for you to make you feel better is what you should do, especially if you just aren’t feeling like yourself.  If it means you take a “time out” for yourself than that’s what you should do because it’s not fair to you or anyone in your life to deplete yourself.

So for me, I’ll be writing because that is my best outlet for recharging myself and getting my levels of tolerance and patience back where they should be.  I definitely don’t like feeling out of sorts, it doesn’t fit right or feel good and if I’m not operating on the right side of the Law of Attraction then I’m depriving myself of the gifts that accompany positive experiences.

thoughts and alignment

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2013 in Blog

 

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Your Life As a Labor of Love

04 Sep

So true! When you put your all into every little thing you do there is no greater reward for you and no greater inspiration for others.

Debra Taitel's avatarDaily Muse

LifeWhatever tasks or jobs you do you have a part to play in this world and the best way to serve the world is by being yourself and considering everything you do as a contribution to society and the world at large.

In essence your life is labor of love as you radiate your passion and unique gifts to all you come in contact with and even those you’ve never met. The contribution you make, no matter your task, has value beyond measure!

In the United States, Labor Day is the first Monday in September and marks the symbolic end of summer. It is celebrated with barbeques and families get together as we prepare for fall, NFL and college football but did you know that Labor Day is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of workers?  It is a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to…

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Posted by on September 4, 2013 in Blog

 

All Good Things in the Right Time!

31 Aug

Allowing the Universe to Set the Pace

I have my beliefs that I follow, one of them is having faith that things work out as they should and when they should, fighting or resisting the natural flow is pointless and usually very frustrating so it’s better for me to do what I need to do and allow the Universe to respond and set the pace.

I have many life goals that I want to achieve, all of which I have initiated and the most important aspect that I have to remain true to, is faith that the Universe will present the right opportunities when the time is perfectly right and not to try to force anything ahead of what is already divinely arranged.

The Universe provides us all with what we need but knows when the time is right and when we are most open to receive, accept and embrace.  I think there are definitely times when we don’t realize that we aren’t fully open and could be blocking ourselves in some way that isn’t easily recognizable for us so that we could change it.  I know that there have been a few times where I’ve thought “I’m ready” but things aren’t happening the way I’d hoped or when I’d hoped.  What I’ve realized much later is even though I thought was ready, it turns out I wasn’t, I just thought I was and thought I knew better but that was the ego thinking  (EGO:  Edging God Out – as in removing faith in what you cannot see)

I’m not over the top in my beliefs and everyone has their own right to choose, I’ve learned what works for me and what doesn’t and I have adjusted and lived my life accordingly.  Everyone should have the right to choose their own path and not be forced or coerced down one that doesn’t fully feel right or aligned with their inner core.  As much as I’d like to at times help or direct someone I care about down a path that I feel is best for them it is not my place to do so and I don’t walk in their shoes every day so I am not aware of all that occurs within, nor do I have the right to judge which path they choose, that is the beauty of “free will”.  Live and let live, I know I don’t like being told how I should be doing things so why should I expect that anyone else would.  I am always open and appreciative to hear the opinion and/or advice of others I respect and admire but the final decisions are ultimately mine to make.

Our ego can get the better of us at times because it inflates and infuses our thoughts into an over-exaggerated belief of self-prominence and knowledge.  What I’ve usually discovered later down the road in hindsight is usually very humbling and expands my awareness to a greater degree.

I believe the best course of action is to lay the groundwork, let the Universe respond when the time is right and be open to waiting for it and taking advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself, you will “feel it” when the opportunity is right, do not hesitate, seize the moment.  Trusting and believing that things will happen as they should and when they should is the key to enhancing your patience.  If something doesn’t go the way you’d hoped it usually takes you into a newer and better direction, one that turns out to be a better plan that maybe you never had thought of or considered.  Every single time I have maintained my belief and faith I have been rewarded with more opportunities than I could have imagined and that is enough of an indication for me to stay on the same track because it works great!  I don’t need to push the boundaries because things always tend to even out in the end so putting myself through additional stress trying to push or force something to happen is pointless.

faith quote

Like I said earlier I have many life goals that I’ve initiated, I have many hopeful desires for life direction that I will continue to focus my strongest thoughts on and I will do all that I need to achieve them but without force because the Universe will present the opportunities and if it isn’t what I’d hoped for, I know it will be something better, experience has taught me that lesson.

Remember your thoughts (positive or negative) are just as strong an influence on the direction your life goes as anything in your life and what you most think about will show up in your life so be very aware of what thoughts you have in both your conscious and sub-conscious mind.  In my opinion it is the sub-conscious mind that has the most power (the sub-conscious runs continually), you can say to yourself consciously that you wish and desire things one way but if you feel deep down (sub-consciously) that your thoughts really don’t fully believe than you could be your own downfall.

As an example to illustrate this theory, I myself utilize this same thought process but I also read it as an excerpt from one of the contributing writers in the book “The Secret”.  A woman spoke of having issues with her weight her whole life and when she started to utilize the theories in the “The Secret” that changed.  Her sub-conscious thoughts used to fully support her reasoning for having difficulty with controlling her weight, how she couldn’t lose it no matter how many different diets she tried or how much exercise she did.

In case you aren’t seeing what the common denominator is here she kept reinforcing negative thoughts that backed up why she couldn’t shed the unwanted pounds:

–         I tried exercise but can’t lose any weight

–         Everything I eat goes to my waist

–         I’ve tried all diets and nothing keeps it off

All of her inner responses and sub-conscious thoughts were reinforcing and allowing the negative to keep operating against her with excuses as to why it wasn’t working, making it ok to fail and justifying it.

It really does all begin with changing your thoughts as to where you can progress to and having faith that things will go in the direction you want.  So she changed her thoughts and reinforced them with positive ones

–         Exercise is taking off the excess I want to discard

–         Nothing is going to stick to me

–         This new diet of moderation with occasional reward is working

By the end of the story the woman had said she was down to her goal weight and maintaining it because of this change of thought process and that was within not only the conscious but sub-conscious mind.  You need to have both on board to be able to effect the change you want to see.

The same enhancement of thought goes for everything in your life including your faith and state of being and even though I’ve had my moments of doubt (which I believe everyone has at one time or another, it’s only natural and human), but bringing myself back to center and positive thinking will bring a much more relaxed state of happiness and healthy living.

–         Be Aware

–         Be Open

–         Be Gracious

–         Be Humble

The Universe will give you what you need when you live in these states of being.  Always remember that things could be so much worse and that breath of life is a gift that shouldn’t go unappreciated.

just have a little faith

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2013 in Blog

 

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A Very Challenging Time

25 Aug

My Daughter’s Scoliosis Journey

I started writing this post the night before my daughter was scheduled to go in for her first of two surgeries last week for correction of Scoliosis but I just couldn’t keep my mind focused or distracted enough on anything for any length of time to finish it.  My mind was clouded and consumed with many thoughts and they fluctuated into good and bad areas frequently.  The night before I was working hard to embrace my optimism and feeling very positive that the surgery was going to be seamless, after all it was her 10th surgery and she’s blown through all of them like a trooper but my underlying state was anxiety and fear, which is something I always have because there is something about anesthetic that scares me.  I knew that the recovery was expected to be long and possibly quite painful and like any parent, my strongest desire was to alleviate any and all discomfort she experienced but that was something I knew I would have absolutely no control over.

Regardless of how medically necessary I knew it was for her to have this surgery and no matter how many positive thoughts I had about how she would be down the road, I knew that it was the time in between those two points that was going to be difficult.

The doctor had advised that Scoliosis surgery is one of the big ones, right up there with heart surgery and I had to keep reminding myself that the best thing for me to focus on was that it could be worse.  She could have had something medical develop that has a lower likelihood of a positive outcome which some kids and parents have to go through and accept and of course I’m sure like every other parent that has to watch their child endure a big challenge, you can feel overwhelmed and helpless.  The need and desire to protect and “take away the hurt” is how I relate to hearing parents say the familiar phrase to their kids “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you”.  It really does feel like you are bearing the entire weight of it all or trying to at least, and surprisingly most kids power through these things better than we might have initially expected.

I firmly believe that “Everything Happens for a Reason” and even though I don’t know what that reason is yet, I do know one thing for sure is that my daughter and I will be even more strongly bonded from going through this together then we were before.Felicity Scoliosis June 2013 - Cropped

I’m hoping these X-ray picture attachments are viewable for everyone, this one is a month before the surgery, it is a front view, her curve was on the right side of her torso on her back so her rib cage on the right side looked almost like it was winged out.  A curve of this degree (92%) and even further puts a lot of pressure on many different areas of the body, my daughter is special needs and non-verbal so knowing exactly how it was affecting her was not precise but I did notice that her oxygen capacity was definitely compromised, she tired just from walking across the room.  From December of last year to April of this year she had lost 25 pounds because she just wasn’t eating her usual, again hard to know exactly how strongly it was affecting her but the X-ray also showed that her spine was pushing inward as well which meant her stomach capacity may be compromised, hence the weight loss and lack of regular feed.

When the decision was finalized that a surgery date needed to be set it seemed like the worst day but as the time drew closer to that date I saw her quality of life was diminishing with each day that passed so I started to feel that the surgery couldn’t come soon enough, it seemed like she was suffering.

The surgery had to be done in two stages, each surgery is quite long in duration so doing the entire procedure at once was too much.  The first surgery had one hiccup but it wasn’t severe.  Like everything in the medical field, advancement in all procedures are ever evolving so the procedure for this surgery had a “less invasive advancement”, unfortunately my daughter’s system was so compromised from the curvature that the classic procedure was needed.  It was no worse off and she came through it really well.

The plan was to do the surgeries back to back so the 2nd stage was set for the following morning and it was the longer of the two procedures.  This is where things took a different turn which wasn’t necessarily a complication but rather a forced delay because her doctor is meticulous about every aspect of his patient’s well-being (one of the main reasons I have so much respect for him), so the last couple hours of the surgery were to be completed on a third day, again slated for the following morning.

All of these changes were very difficult for me and I spent a lot of time reeling myself from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other which was definitely not going to do either myself or my daughter any good.  From the time my daughter was born (prematurely 14 years ago) I’ve had to step back and let doctors do what they need to do and trust that they are doing the right thing.  As a parent our programming is to protect and when you are forced out of that space because you aren’t able to give them what they need it can be difficult, terrifying and overwhelming.  Even though I am a positive minded person when any sort of complication or delay arose I would find my thoughts racing into the worst places and I was unable to control them.  My logical and intellectual mind was completely overruled and overwhelmed by my emotional connection to my daughter, she is absolutely everything in my heart and it killed me to not be able to do anything.  Even now when I think about it I still feel emotional, I think it’s impossible to separate the two when it comes to our children, no matter how strong you are.

The doctor successfully completed her surgery and she is now beautifully straight and has many opportunities for advancement ahead of her.  I don’t think I could fully convey my gratitude toward the doctor and his team for basically saving her life, she can breathe with ease now.  Without this surgery she could have had a multitude of medical difficulties that could plague her continually into the future, let alone the fact that her oxygen intake was on a steady decline and there’s no way to know how much but with the direction she had been heading it didn’t seem positive.  Simply stated, without breath, you don’t have life.Felicity Scoliosis Aug 2013 - Cropped

This X-ray picture is post-surgery, she now has a rod fused to either side of her spine in the thoracic region and many screws (I think 11 a side, total 22) to keep the rods in place to her spine.  It sounds really harsh, and it is, and honestly I’m surprised in a week after surgery she doesn’t have a lot of pain, part of that is that she does have a high pain tolerance but I also think it is a good indication of how much pain and/or discomfort she was in enduring prior to the surgery.

There were additional issues into recovery, the biggest concern is always infection because this is such a big surgery and unfortunately my daughter ended up with 2 infections.  The full extent and effect these infections had on my daughter’s threshold and tolerance cannot fully be determined but she ended up having a seizure on day 3 post-op and honestly that just did me in.  My own tolerance for remaining strong was severely challenged at that point and my mind could no longer carry my positive thoughts, I was devastated and terrified.  The good news is that the infections she developed are treatable and the seizure could have been caused by all the extenuating factors that contributed to her low threshold.  Regardless, as a precautionary measure she is being treated for an additional infection to cover off the seizure, which is believed to be associated with Meningitis.  As I stated earlier all of these infections are treatable, serious but treatable so I know the worst is over.

I think besides the fact that I’d had little sleep due to worry and anxiety over her well-being and surgical outcome, the most difficult aspect was trying to absorb all the information the various doctors now involved because of the seizure were advising.  The doctors have their own language and get involved in discussion while trying to find the best course of action, unfortunately for the layman that isn’t knowledgeable on medical terms it can be scary to listen to so it’s really important to ask questions to clarify so you aren’t left with your own thoughts as I was.  My imagination has always been something I’ve had to reel in because left to my own devices I will blow things farther out of proportion than they are and in a medical situation like this I can be my own worst enemy.

That all being said, after much clarification and solid discussion with the many specialists I have finally been able to direct my efforts to what my daughter and I do best together, which is recovery.  A little hard work has never deterred either of us and it won’t now, she is on the mend and onto a healthier and happier life.

I WANT TO EXTEND MY SINCEREST THANKS AND DEEPEST GRATITUDE TO DR. MIYANJI AND HIS SPINE TEAM AT BC CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL, ADDITIONAL SPECIALISTS AND MANY NURSES WHO WERE ALL INVOLVED IN FELICITY’S PRE AND POST SURGERY CARE.   

IT TRULY TAKES VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE TO DEDICATE THEIR LIVES TOWARD THE HEALTH AND WELL-BEING OF OTHERS.

a life that matters

 
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Posted by on August 25, 2013 in Blog

 

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Things I’ve Learned So Far

07 Aug

And;  Where they’ve taken me

  • The ONLY disability in life is a bad attitude!

I Give Up, it’s too hard!  Have you ever said or thought this?  The biggest downside to this thought is that you will get what you give out in this situation.  If you’re feeling like your life isn’t going in the direction you want it to, it’s up to YOU to change directions.  If you got lost in a forest would you:

–         Wait and hope that someone finds you

–         Or keep trying to find your way out

number one reason for giving up

I won’t say I’ve never allowed my attitude to get out of balance, honestly I don’t think it’s gone entirely in the bad attitude direction but I’ve teetered on the edge and have usually found that the energy associated with it just doesn’t fit for me.  It makes me feel like I have the flu and I fight hard to rid myself of it.

I believe it’s human to experience all spectrums of emotion, it becomes difficult when we sit too long in the negative ones which gives them the chance to take root, fester and grow.

  • Sometimes I overthink things.

I’ve done this A LOT!  Having a visual mind can work great wonders for you but with the wrong sense behind it, like fear, it can lead you to a whole lot of anxiety.  This has been recent for me:

In the last 4 months I’ve learned that my 14 year old daughter has to have surgery for Scoliosis and with fear in my very visual mind it took me through a lot of bad thought processes.  One of the reasons I went through those areas is because she’s my child, my baby and always will be but also because she was born at 6 months and weighed (1lb, 7 ounces) which is really premature and right from the very beginning I had to relinquish my protective mothering rights to doctors who could help her to survive such an early arrival.  Needless to say it was not easy to watch them poke and prod and even though I knew they were doing everything they could to help her it’s hard to be so helpless when as a mother your main job is to protect.  So now she has to endure yet another big milestone in her life and what I’ve realized is that even though the milestones may look different for each family they usually involve some form of letting go.  I have to let go of the fear and allow the positive strength I know we both have to guide us through it and I know we will come out on the other side more strongly bonded then we were before.

  • Strength in Self is Paramount.

Is your spirit so broken that you can’t find a way out of the disappointment?  I think if you believe that to be true of yourself, you absolutely must change that thought and get it working for you instead of working against you.  Your strength in self in all situations and specifically your inner dialogue can either impede your growth or encourage it.

Pastor Rick Warren says about painful experiences that “God never wastes a hurt”.

All experiences, good or bad ultimately teach us something and our gratitude towards these experiences can either diminish our light or ignite it.  If you feel like negativity is pulling you down, neutralize it by surrounding yourself with those that inspire you and lift you up.

  • Leader or a follower?

I prefer to direct and lead my own path but I will follow a good leader.  If I follow someone and they lead me down the wrong path is it their fault for leading me there?  Or is my fault for following?  In my opinion it is neither, because I made the choice to follow for a reason, somewhere it served a greater purpose for me and even though I may not realize what has driven me in that direction yet it will all come to light at the right time.

Everything happens for a Reason!

  • Faith!

Self-explanatory really, you’ve got to have faith if you ever hope to achieve your greatest desires.  Having faith helps you to develop greater clarity and love in your sense of self as well as personal development.  Sometimes we start out on our path believing what we envision as our greatest desires only to discover later that they weren’t what we thought at all and are led, through faith, to an even better outcome than could possibly be imagined.  So far my life has taken me in and through experiences that have challenged me and have given me a greater clarity in life than I ever realized was possible.  There is NOTHING that cannot be changed or achieved by believing in yourself and in my opinion the only time it’s too late is when you are no longer in the physical world!

Don’t disable yourself in life, believe you can do anything and you will!

strong person

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2013 in Blog

 

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No One Else Completes You

31 Jul

You Become Whole on your Ownyou are the answer

Finding yourself – You don’t need anything from anyone else to be whole or complete, that comes from you and you alone.  No one thing or person can fix your life that comes from finding a peace and contented balance that meets your specific needs.  No two people are alike and what one person may view as a perfectly content life may not be the same view for another which is why when you are trying to find yourself and your peace it’s important to listen to your inner voice so you know when you’ve found it and when you haven’t.  The vision is different for everyone, different things make each of us tick and believe me your gut knows when you are avoiding the truth and walking down the wrong path.

Most issues or stumbling blocks we have are rooted from something deeper within us whether that is something that was modelled, learned or a defense mechanism it creates a habitual behaviour pattern that we tend to continually repeat until we either learn the lesson on our own or hit the wall that forces us to.

Certain events in our lives can keep us stuck in a perpetual cycle from the moment an event affected us and if it happens at an early age then it can keep you from developing past it mentally.  Something difficult or emotionally challenging can stunt your personal growth and maturity so much so that it keeps a part of your psyche in that age or timeframe in some form and even though you grow and age an emotional part of you stays at that point until you find acceptance.  Resisting acceptance whether you are doing it consciously or subconsciously it can have a negative effect on the development of the peace and contented balance that you seek.  The reason most of us don’t address or try to resolve these stumbling blocks is because either we aren’t aware of where they are rooted from or it’s much too painful to embrace but embracing your pain is the only way to deal and move forward toward finding yourself and feeling whole.

Within every difficult experience there are the usual stages similar to the grieving process that you need to move through in order to move on.  If you don’t allow yourself to process through each one of these stages you get stuck in that place until you pick-up where you left off, accept and deal so you can heal and move on.

Most often we think that it requires something externally to fill the void, like once I get that, achieve that or get there I’ll be happy.  Once you get there you find that the feeling of wholeness still eludes you and you still feel the void.  It takes really honest inner reflection to find the root of any blockage, I don’t know of any blockage that has ever been a good one, they are called blocks for a reason.  Blocks are our own inner spirit’s way of saying “I Don’t Like That” and “I’m not going to accept that”, so our inner spirit will revolt and keep showing us that block until we recognize it and address it.

When you are avoiding addressing a blockage it is usually because there is a certain amount of pain, shame or guilt that you either aren’t ready to feel or you believe you can suppress.  Unfortunately you can only suppress something for so long, at some point it will surface in some way or form whether that is the referred effect of lashing out at others or shutting yourself off.

When you aren’t aware of the root of a blockage or believe that you know what it is you may spend a lot of time going in the wrong direction.  I’ve done this so I know that you will continue ending up with the same result over and over until you realize what the actual root cause is, and most likely it is something completely different and in an entirely different area than you thought.  I didn’t realize until later reflecting that I had overcompensated in some areas just trying to level out where I thought my stumbling block was and when the light bulb finally went on, it was practically staring me in the face.  So simple that I should have realized it sooner but also so simple I thought it couldn’t be that easy.

I think we often feel that we know what the fix is and that is the first of many falsehoods that the ego will lead you through.  The answers to our biggest questions lie within and only our inner voice, our gut instinct knows the answers we need to find but it’s our ego that leads us down the wrong path because of course, it’s ego, it thinks it knows best, turns out our ego actually knows the least!  The ego is there to deter you from finding your peace because the more peace you find the smaller your ego becomes.

Finding yourself starts within, starting within will open more doors than you knew were there and the more doors you open the more contentment you will find.

listen to your inner voice

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2013 in Blog

 

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Enhancing Your Thoughts

24 Jul

By Building a Positive Outlook

I don’t know if what I’m feeling is associated with astrology, as in planetary alignment, or if it is just me but I feel like I have been recharged.  I think the ability to enhance ourselves even more positively than we may currently be feeling is something that ultimately comes from within but can be enhanced externally as well.  It’s the equivalent of starting off your day feeling great and having external occurrences, like green lights all the way to work, support and/or enhance it.  I do find that when I’ve felt the uprise of positivity there is no downslide it just keeps building and building and I think that has a lot to do with my thoughts and how strongly I embrace them.

I know that not every day of our lives is totally fabulous or flawless, of course that would be great wouldn’t it?  I do aspire to make every day a good one and my positive mindset is one of my most helpful assets but I do have my off days and thankfully they are few.  There are times when things aren’t necessarily off but maybe more stagnant and those days can be as frustrating as the off days especially if you have a lot of ambition and hope for where you want to see your life go.

I think it’s in those times where we aren’t really experiencing a storm but rather frustration that I believe are the indications that you are in need of some rest, relaxation and recharge.  Sometimes the ambition can deplete you, especially if your expectations for the speed of your own personal progress isn’t moving ahead in the timeframe you had hoped for.  An important thing to remember is that your faith is being challenged, another one of life’s lessons that has presented itself to me many times and when I realize I need to let go and trust that the universe knows much more than I do things start to even out because I know that everything will happen when the time is perfectly right.

re-directed

What we create in our lives is solely influenced by our thoughts, state of mind and actions.  I’ve witnessed someone who has embellished the truth significantly and after telling that same story it begins to take on more of a life itself then it started out with, after  a while the story teller has told this story so many times that they start to believe every single part of it and it becomes their truth.  Imagine if you try this same process but with a positive change that you want to create, so let’s say with ourselves, most of us have an issue with some area of our own self-image and when I read the book “The Secret” this exercise was in there too.  I do believe that we can change ourselves in any area with thoughts simply by seeing a minimal change and empowering it positively, like the story teller that embellished the truth, you start to believe you are seeing the change and it grows from there and becomes your truth, honestly I’ve tried this myself and it has worked.  Our mind and thoughts can do greater things than we realize.  It doesn’t mean you do nothing and expect change but you do have to make adjustments to encourage what you hope to see change and starting out small is the best way to see progress.

You definitely NEED to be the change you want to see and when things begin to go in that direction, embrace it and encourage it wholeheartedly.

The decision, determination and drive to embrace and keep the positive rolling and on the right track is fully in your control.

The positive state of being can move mountains and can reduce difficulty that may have previously blocked your way.  Sometimes a good dose of positive enlightenment can help to put things into perspective.  Obviously you aren’t actually going to physically see a mountain move but how we perceive blockage in our life can be altered simply by recognizing that there are situations that could be and are much worse than what we believe as hindering our lives.  What we encourage and embrace as our fate or luck is what will continue to occur in our daily lives until we make that shift into the positive state of being.  Why would anyone embrace or accept the things they don’t want to see continue in their lives?  There are many self-deprecating reasons we choose to but none of them are really true or what we deserve, we just think we do and that’s what keeps up in that state.

When you have even one little moment, one smidgen of positivity occur, grab on with all you’ve got and don’t let go.  It will be your wisest and best decision and like any state of being it can spiral.  I don’t know about you but if something is going to spiral out of control, I want it to be the positive!

dreams

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2013 in Blog

 

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If You Don’t Have Anything Positive to Say

17 Jul

Maybe Don’t Say Anything At All!

Some things are better left unsaid, if all you have to offer someone is your fear and doubt than why does it need to be voiced?  Projecting your negativity onto someone else is usually unwanted and never fair to them.  Everyone has their own issues and challenges that they have to deal with throughout their lives and no one needs the addition of negativity when they are trying to maintain a positive frame of mind.  Depending on their current circumstance your negativity could be what breaks them in that moment.no negativity sign

The phrase “misery loves company” could be referenced when it comes to negativity but my opinion is that a person can feel very alone in their thoughts and may try desperately to rid themselves of those feelings but that projection usually creates more guilt and shame and may be the start of an unwanted cycle.

What we give our energy to is what manifests in our lives so the state of being you are focusing on most is what you can expect to see show up in your life.  Our minds are so much more powerful than I think we realize when it comes to having the ability within to manifest what we most desire and we can create significant change, the big question is what kind of change do you want to see occur?  Are your intentions in alignment with that desire, is your focus so determined that there can be no other outcome?  I’m sure most everyone would easily answer “of course I want positive things to occur” but if you’re putting all your energy into preparing for the worst how can you possibly expect the positive to manifest amid all that negativity?

Negativity is heavy, it’s draining and can feel like walking around with a piano tied to you, depending on how much you are letting it control your outlook will determine how much it holds you back.  Now imagine if someone else comes along and ties their piano to you too, after that happens you may not be going anywhere and it can get harder and harder to get yourself free.

If you are already expecting the worst in any situation then you will likely get what you have already embraced.

state of your life, mind

You can induce miracles or tragedy, it’s a no-brainer for me as to which side of this I live on daily but we have our moments of vulnerability when we question circumstance simply because our immune system of will gets low.  It’s in these moments that a negative thinker has the window of opportunity to spread their virus, it’s the equivalent of walking up to someone and sneezing on them, there are times when we just don’t have the inner strength to fight it off.

Our thoughts manifest to create change, not all change is negative and change occurs based on our dominant thoughts and feelings, whether we realize it or not.  Be very aware of your daily thoughts, feelings and actions because you may not realize what you are manifesting if you are careless.

It’s ok for us to be aware of the downsides of any situation but it doesn’t mean we need to focus on it so intently that we manifest the outcome we don’t actually want.

Not everything works out as we sometimes hope or plan for but not everything is meant to, change exists to propel us into a different direction and sometimes the challenge in going in another direction has manifested to help us grow and learn.

We don’t come out on the other side of challenges without being provided the gift of wisdom, insight or growth.  The point is though that even if you feel the direction went the opposite of where you were hoping at least you didn’t encourage that direction to be worse than by thinking negatively.

For those that struggle with overcoming negative thoughts it will be a big challenge to make the change to the positive side, it will be hard work, but well worth it and I can assure you there is no better choice!

opportunity, difficulty

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2013 in Blog

 

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