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You Need to Step Up for Change to Happen

06 Mar

Go Hard or Go Home!

Are you in a Rut?

Are you Living your Dreams?

Or are you Just Getting By?

If you aren’t satisfied with where you are at or where your life is going then I believe these are the questions you might want to consider.  I found after asking myself these questions that I had a whole new set of questions that followed.

Where do I want my life to go?

What do I consider Living my Dreams?

What fulfills me?

What is my Purpose?

Some of these questions may seem easy but they weren’t, oh sure, where I want my life to go is obviously somewhere good, somewhere happy and somewhere fulfilling but I didn’t know what that looked like.  Figuring that out takes a lot of thought and true soul searching and knowing where to start isn’t a given for anyone but I found that the answers to these questions definitely helped point me in the right direction.

ambition v8 engine

Everything I do is full on (Go Hard or Go Home!), I don’t like to do anything half-way, I don’t see the point, but of course I think that’s just part of my work ethic and personality, something anyone athletic or competitive can identify with, tenacity is the key to success.  Having those traits that I applied to the many sports I played made it frustrating for me to not have any idea or direction of what I wanted to do in life.  In sports, it’s easy, you already know what the end result is supposed to look like, but life goals?  That’s a whole other game!  I had a blurred vision of the emotional aspect of where I wanted my life to go which was the (somewhere good, somewhere happy, somewhere fulfilling) but I had no idea what the purpose or the work was that would be associated and that was because I needed these questions to help me.  Again with the questions, I had more that followed!

What’s my first step?

What’s my second step?

What’s my third step?

There was no end to these questions and there still isn’t!  I am still in hot pursuit of my goals and have no intention of letting up, not for any other reason than it’s too important to me to give up.  I found a quote from a movie “A Cinderella Story” that fits perfectly.

“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game”

How true this quote is, you have to step up to create change for yourself, it’s the only way.  You can’t expect anyone else to do it for you or to fulfill your dreams, there’s no sense of accomplishment in that and if something means that much to you then giving up isn’t an option.  Your rewards come from accomplishing things for yourself and being able to say “I did that!” or “I was part of that”.  Either on your own or collectively no one else can create the glow of accomplishment and inner reward but you!

If you want something, you have to make it happen!

success

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 6, 2013 in Blog

 

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Pure Luck!

27 Feb

Charmed or Not?

feeling luckyLuck is golden and not to be discarded lightly, we all have it but we either don’t know it, don’t tap into it, or it may be that we don’t recognize it.  I believe your luck (good or bad) is tied in to your outlook and state of being, are you positive or negative minded?  Add in the Law of Attraction (like attracts like) to that mix and you can reap some serious benefits, or not, it depends on you.

The Law of Attraction (your thoughts become your reality) is always operating and if you believe you are lucky or unlucky, the universe will respond according to that belief.  If you are saying phrases like “If it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all” you are already destroying your chances of having anything positive occur because your choices within that sentence are bad luck or no luck.  The further this belief gets ingrained the more of this luck you will see show up in your life, wouldn’t it be of more benefit to get your mind over to the positive side of this instead?

I myself, have always been lucky, and the more I embrace and encourage that postivitity the more good luck I experience, it’s a cycle that continues to flow.  Of all the cycles that have the chance of continually repeating this is one I hope everyone opens themselves up to because not only are there the benefits of good luck but that shift to the positive opens your world up to a much healthier way of life.

Do you know people that you view as being lucky?  What is it about them that you believe is creating this good luck?  Are you associating their luck or your own with a feeling of being deserving of it?

Luck is not a designation it’s impartial, it’s not doled out to those that deserve or don’t deserve it, it begins with you and your content or discontent within your life.  We attract things to us (people or circumstances) that are in alignment with ourselves, if you want to change your luck, simply start by changing your attitude.  If you have someone in mind that you feel has an attitude or outlook that you admire or wish you had, then start there.  I don’t mean be a clone of someone but maybe adopt or adapt the traits or qualities that serve you and are most in alignment with who you are as a person and it is likely that you will start to see your life change for the better and the luck that you have held at bay for so long will finally be able to get through.

Appreciating all aspects of good fortune creates the chain reaction similar to a snowball rolling down a hill in that it continues to grow as it gathers speed.  It’s not so much that it crashes or explodes when it finally reaches the bottom of the hill but rather the impact causes it to sprinkle and spread out the crystals of fortune onto all areas of its path.

By far the most important state of being needed to allow your luck to flourish is gratitude and embracing that state in every area will change your life beyond anything you could have ever imagined.

Now I’ll ask again, are you charmed or not?  It’s really all up to you!

gratitude quote

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2013 in Blog

 

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Stress for Less!

20 Feb

Can You Afford It?

I think we all can, it’s just a matter of figuring out what strategy works best for each of us as individuals because what works for one doesn’t always work for another.  Everything that goes on in our daily lives can be considered some level of stress, the more you have on your plate, the more you have to manage and that can create stress.  Remember when you were young and the most you had to manage was who’s house you were going to play at?

Even though we have more technology to help us manage it all, we still even have to manage the time we put into that as well.  Crazy!  That’s like stress upon stress, no wonder some of us are so frazzled at the end of the day.

stressed

I have been told that I normalize stress, which actually seems to work in my favor because that adaptation provides me with the benefit of not having my stress affect my overall health and well-being.  It no longer feels like stress because I have altered my perception which has in turn allowed me to adapt faster than I would have in the past.

How do you deal with the everyday stress in your life?  Is it healthy and productive or dragging you down?

Stress can affect us medically in so many different ways and just as we are all unique, so is our internal reactions to stress.  Stress starts on the inside, it’s an emotion that can wreak havoc on your entire system and alter your quality of life either mildly or drastically.

Stress SymptomsSome of the ways I have noticed the effects of stress are:

–          Internalizing:  Holding in your stress is similar to holding in any other emotion.  It can only be bottled up for so long before it blows up and depending on what your breaking point is it could have either mild or major negative results.

–          Vocalizing:  Definitely not holding in stress but rather allowing it to have its effect in the current moment.  How beneficial this is depends on how you are vocalizing your disdain, whether it is very negative or if it is productive but healthy.

–          Projecting:  I believe that when someone is projecting it is a result of holding in the emotion and the negativity of holding it in is getting close to reaching its boiling point.  The projecting could be for a period of time before the final blow-up occurs and that is because the internalization method can no longer sustain it.

–          Physically:  Stress can cause mock symptoms of many different health issues and can even have your doctor wondering what’s going on.  I have experienced this dilemma and my doctor tried so many different medications for a year and was still stumped.  It wasn’t until I changed my physical presence in a situation that everything magically went away.

You could put two people in the same exact situation and each of them would experience it differently, same goes for how that situation affected them emotionally.  So it’s not far off to know that the stress and level of it would be completely different which is why it would be so difficult for a doctor to try to follow any guideline, the diagnosis for one may not or won’t be the same for the other.

I believe one of the healthiest ways to deal with any stress in your life is talking it out with a trusted friend because that friend may be able to help you work through it, whether that is just by listening or offering ideas and/or solutions to eliminate or at least reduce it.  Honestly just being able to talk it out with a friend has been my best defence against stress as well you get the opinion of someone who isn’t as close to your stress as you are.

Another healthy outlet for stress is humor, if you can find the humor in most situations it eases the level of stress, maybe not fully but enough to make it more manageable at times.  Plus a good dose of roaring laughter does relieve stress and tension, even if it’s only for a moment.

laughter heart

 

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2013 in Blog

 

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True Thoughtfulness Comes from the Heart!

12 Feb

Can you Spare the Time?

I don’t believe that true thoughtfulness comes from any other place than the unconditional love of the heart.  There is no room in there for selfish reasons or conditions to be placed on others as tools of control or manipulation.  If your intention is motivated by the desire to enrich another’s life, that is true thoughtfulness, if you are keeping score or reminding someone of your contributions, thoughtfulness is no longer what you can call it.

I believe that thoughtfulness is of close relation to karma but by thoughtful intention as well.  What I mean by this is that karma (in my mind) is a result of what you put out there is what comes back to you but the intention must be in alignment with true thoughtfulness.  If the intention for doing something nice for someone else is to reap the benefit of what comes back to you (the karma) then that is not true thoughtfulness but rather pre-meditated self-benefit.

If you are finding yourself in a state of anything other than true and selfless thought towards others than I believe you are denying yourself of the greater beauty to be experienced in life.  There may be a deeper rooted issue going on within that is keeping you in a state that does not allow you room for personal happiness, peace, balance or growth.moments-you-cant-put-into-words

I have witnessed and personally experienced true thoughtfulness from, for and with others and the expression and intention in that state of grace is magical, to say the least.  For me, that expression and the feeling associated is equivalent to the magnitude of a miracle.  I don’t mean that someone who is doing something selfless is doing something miraculous, I mean that the feeling for everyone involved is as momentous and significant as the feeling that could be associated with experiencing a miracle because it is a true, unconditional and selfless expression of love, whether that is family, friend or love relationships.

Living in a state of appreciation and gratitude is what inspires and motivates true thoughtfulness and I feel that we all have it at our inner core but for some, our life experiences, circumstances and choices can alter how that inner core is reflected outward.

One definite route to finding your way back to this state of appreciation and gratitude is to look outside yourself and those around you.  There are many people in all parts of the world that have had life experiences and circumstances that are far worse and they have either made the conscious choice not to allow it to change their core or they don’t know any other way of life but either choice is of benefit to their inner spirit because they are choosing the positive light.

When you are choosing the positive light you are also choosing to open yourself up for all things positive; abundance in all life and love experiences.  That is when you are most in alignment with the Law of Attraction and the energy needed to be in this alignment is much less than the energy needed to be out of this alignment.  Crazy how sometimes we just can’t see that, but it’s so true and when you let go and allow everything to just be as it will it all flows effortlessly and magically!

magnet

Stay Positive

Live in a State of Grace

Follow your Heart

Listen to your Soul

Bless Those Around You!

 
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Posted by on February 12, 2013 in Blog

 

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It’s Not Who You Are, It’s the Behaviour!

05 Feb

De-programming your Patterns

Finding the root cause of any behaviour that you know in your soul isn’t right is the only way to change your patterns.  Awareness to the lack of the success you may have in an area of your life that you are unhappy in is the first step.  Recognizing and owning your flaws and behaviours is not easy or comfortable to do but you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Vulnerability is not weakness, it is a form of courage and strength, like the calm before the storm that brings refreshing change.  Every time I have felt vulnerable or scared has been a moment of significant growth that has positively enhanced my life. Acknowledging that there is a familiar pattern and wanting to change that pattern is the key that unlocks the door to healing.

vulnerable

I think most of us are variations of either Self-Destruction or Self-Improvement, or both, and there are many factors that contribute to the level of how far we tip the scale.  What is your level of truth?

Do you find that you keep ending up in the same place at the end of any given situation even if you have the best intentions in mind?  When I started to recognize this in my own life I realized that I needed to do some work to figure out why these patterns kept showing up.  These patterns can create a cycle of disappointment within that can then evolve into self-destructive behaviour.

Bad behavior doesn’t mean bad person, it could mean conflicted, confused, reactive or could have developed as a result of a great trauma, hurt or betrayal.  When you continue down the path of self-destruction you risk becoming so numb that you fall of the edge that you’re already emotionally dangling on and that can lead to a variety of negative and/or tragic outcomes that don’t need to occur if you just honor your pain to heal.  Carrying it through your life on a daily basis will take a toll on your emotional, physical and mental health and ultimately be very harmful to your inner spirit.  You can end up restricting yourself from so many opportunities just because you can’t or won’t let go of emotions that are keeping you imprisoned within your mind by replaying the tapes that caused you pain.

behaviour

No one can see how you feel on the inside or what you’ve been through, could you imagine if all that was displayed on the outside of you?  There would be no way to hide anything and your vulnerability level would be out the roof.  There would be no way to deny what goes on inside and you would either have to put up with everyone knowing your truth or working it out.  It’s really important to do the work so that your inside can match your outside because until it does you will always feel conflicted, out of sync and struggling to find your way.  If something that wasn’t great propels you into the right direction, and that direction leads you something better than I believe that is the silver lining.  Everything happens for a reason!

We are not here to fulfill the dreams of others, we are here to share in theirs but fulfill our own dreams, find our own passion and our own place in this life.  That place will feel most in alignment with your inner spirit and feel as comfortable as home or whatever you consider “your happy place”.aha

It took me a long time to recognize my patterns but that awareness expanded my desire to delve deeper and I find new levels of insight and “aha” moments that tell me my work is not done and that’s good.  I don’t ever want those to end because that’s where the magic happens!

 
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Posted by on February 5, 2013 in Blog

 

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True Friends

29 Jan

There is No Comparison!

Today was a day where I was thinking and reflecting about my friends of the past, friends of the present and the friends that have been with me through anything and everything.  I wouldn’t say that I ever identified with one clique, friends were friends, no matter what!  I’ve been absolutely blessed to have such smart, funny and beautifully unique woman in my life, even when we’ve lost touch for a period of time, we are able to pick it back up like it was just yesterday that we last spoke.  That is true friendship!

We all know and were a part of each other’s history (from teen to adulthood) and I believe it really says something about who we are and what we mean to each other to still be there so many years later.  I have so many great times from the past to recall, great times from the present that we’ve made together and great times from the future that I know will definitely occur.

One of the best relationships anyone will have in their life (in my opinion) is that of a true friend.  Although unlike the quote below, my girls will make me walk with them, when they know I don’t like walking but when we do, we have the best time.  Clearly they are much more brilliant than I.

oprah quote

Friendship is a gift to be loved, to be nurtured and to be cherished.  Honesty, Truth, Communication and Loyalty are the most important components of any relationship and without them, it will either crumble or you will feel unfulfilled.

I thoroughly enjoyed my teens and early twenties because of these fabulous women and I really could never thank them enough for the cherished memories I have of fun and crazy times.  The only way to truly articulate who they are to me and who they always will be is to say that we are kindred spirits, our paths are forever intertwined for a reason.

I know that there is a future lit up with more of the crazy shenanigans and horseplay and there’s no way I’m going to miss it!

So I looked it up and Friendship Day in Canada is the first Sunday in August but I’m having it early this year because I felt the need today to recognize the great friends I have in my life.

“Happy Friendship Day”

true friend

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2013 in Blog

 

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Thank-You for the Experience

22 Jan

Your Presence was Necessary!

There are many times I’ve wondered to myself and aloud what the greater reason is behind some of the challenges and/or experiences I’ve had and actually as I write this I’m thinking that I’ve never wondered why when it’s something easy or delightful only when it’s something that has been difficult.  Although I guess the difference is that I’m not always thankful for the challenging times at the beginning like I am with the blessings.  It takes some time to figure out how to adapt and accept when there are bumps in the road but when I come to that moment of clarity is when I realize the greater purpose behind the newest challenge or difficulty and I can be thankful for the experience because it has brought me to a greater awareness and understanding.

Not everything is easy and I don’t think it’s supposed to be, if it was our lives would be too predictable, and without the challenges we wouldn’t experience the lessons or growth.  We all are here for a purpose, figuring out my purpose was something that I struggled to discover for many years and I believe that until we find our calling we remain wandering and wondering.

I do believe that there is a higher purpose and plan in place and that everyone in our lives plays out their part as if we were all in a big play, we have the scenes where some enter and some leave but all are an integral part in each of our life plans.  That includes everyone that is in our immediate circle of family, friends and those that cross our paths briefly; from a look, a moment, a conversation, an encounter or a relationship, it is all part of the grand design.

painful goodbye

To those that have left my life, I wish you well and I understand that you weren’t meant to stay.  When people leave our life, whether it is our decision or forced upon us, I believe the reason is because their purpose has been served, not just in conjunction with our lives but theirs as well and we are no longer essential to each other’s growth and must move forward onto the next leg of our personal journeys.  For both people involved when we move out of each other’s lives an opening is created for the next person that is destined to come in for the next scene of our life plan.

To those that have come into my life and those that have taken up permanent residence, you’ve brought me more joy and blessings than I could have imagined.  Your continued presence in my life is a sign from the universe that our lives are not just a point of juncture but rather a circle of light, love and learning.  Your impact is continually evolving yet steadfast and true, I look forward to all the new adventures we will share and our future of “keeping it real”.

To All:  Without our shared experience I may not be in the place I am today and regardless of whether or not the experience was easy or difficult I know that I would not change it, nor do I have regret because ultimately it helped me to grow.  The lessons, experience and wisdom I gained from your presence in my life has helped me to develop a greater understanding, perspective and clarity of my direction and focus in life.

Thank-You!

life quote

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2013 in Blog

 

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What’s The Connection?

15 Jan

I Aspire to Live My Best Life

Based on where I thought the direction of my life was going to go when I was in my early 20’s, I found my career focus but not in the way I thought.  My interests were many but I had two directions in my mind that were the frontrunners yet so very different and far apart from each other.

I’ve always been social from as far back as I can remember but in a more shy and reserved way which wouldn’t work for my first pick (from the age of 6) of what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to sing.  I loved music, dancing and loved to entertain and make people smile but was too shy to get up on a stage by myself, I was a closet singer basically.  Looking back at it now I think the bottom line was that it obviously didn’t feel as natural to me to have that kind of career as I’d thought or I would have fought harder to get there.

My other pick was a psychiatrist/therapist (from the age of 19), these two couldn’t be any farther apart on the spectrum, could they?  Of course looking back this now I realize that writing out my thoughts in a journal was a form of (self) therapy that I was already developing and in my conversations, chats or long talks with close friends or co-workers I found that there was therapy in another form.  We provided therapy to each other simply by listening and caring and the occasional words of inspiration, motivation or wisdom.  There is wisdom to be gained from everyone we encounter, we are all here for a reason.

connection

The only connection I can find between these two very different career choices was my desire to make others happy, feel better, smile or just connect with them.  To somehow change another’s world for the better, to make it a little bit brighter, even if just for a day, an hour or a moment is something I aspire to.  I write on a more consistent basis now and continue to pursue my life of writing.  There are people out there that have read my book, follow my blog and have given me positive feedback to say that I’ve either been the voice they needed at a specific time or that I gave them another perspective or option to consider.  Just to know that I changed someone’s state of mind/being for the better, even for a moment is a much appreciated validation for me and is extremely humbling and incredibly motivating.

The connection I’ve realized now is that my desire to make others happy, feel better, smile or just connect with them has been not too far off from either of my initials goals.  The “being a singer” goal because that form of career is a form of creativity and the “psychiatrist/therapist” goal because that form of career is to help.  In essence it is a combination of the two that creates my writing career focus and has been a blessing for me in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

If you look back to the points in your life where you had your initial ideas of “what you wanted to be”, are you anywhere near it?  You may be, but not in the way that you had expected, it could be an alternate path but connected at the core like mine was.  It was quite a moment of “aha” to realize how much of these two very different career goals ending up blending together.

It was a direction that I never could have predicted and where I will be 20 years from now will be a prediction that I could not make either but I am definitely looking forward to finding out.

laugh often pic

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Blog

 

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Is it really a Failure, Mistake or Divine Intervention?

08 Jan

All Experiences Carry Wisdom

Have you wondered why you are where you are, wondered why certain people and experiences enter or leave your life?  Every experience carries wisdom with it and the bigger question to ask is at the end of every experience; do you recognize the experience has played out and do you finally see the wisdom?

everything happens for a reasonFor the longest time I was very hard on myself when it came to any sort of mistake or failure, I never adjusted well, nor did I see the wisdom at the end.  In the last 10 years I’ve started to see things from a different perspective that has led me to question whether what I’ve viewed as failures in the past are not actually that of divine intervention or destiny.  I’m a huge believer in “Everything happens for a Reason” and that would mean that mistakes (big or small) aren’t actually failures but rather part of the grand design that is in place to help us progress in the direction we are meant to go so we can live the life we are meant to live.

One thing I’ve come to recognize is that the people I admire, look up to and respect can feel like lifelines at times because we can relate to each other in a very specific and identifiable way.  Their energy is not only magnetic but familiar and comforting and there are times when that is just what I need to balance me out.

I listed some of my favorite quotes from Oprah’s Master Class, there is so much to we can learn from others experiences and lives, whether they are successful at times or not.  It’s learning from the experience; that is the success.

Honestly when I was younger I didn’t have enough confidence or comfort level in my own skin to maintain my beliefs.  I knew I believed in some of the quotes below, although some of them I wasn’t even aware of because I just didn’t have enough life experience but those I believed and wanted to stand strong on fell to the wayside.  I needed to develop inner strength and learn how to set boundaries, and I wouldn’t have learned how to without the life experiences I’ve had so far.

Oprah Winfrey:  (Every Life Has a Story) – Everybody has a story and there is something to be learned from every experience.

Jay-Z:  (Be True to Yourself) – Knowing who you are, that’s the foundation of everything great.

Simon Cowell:  (It’s Better just to be Honest) – Emotion is absolutely key to this, trust your gut instinct.

Condoleezza Rice:  (Faith Helps) – You can’t plan every step in Life.

Maya Angelou:  (You Have to Live your Teaching) – When you learn teach, at our best we are all teachers.

Sydney Poitier:  (Instinct Guides Us) – Instinct is a force that lives within us and we call upon it when we need to.

Diane Sawyer:  (Be Curious) – Wake up curious and wake up determined to try to get an answer.

Lorne Michaels:  (Art is Like Life) – There’s always just ahead of us the chance for redemption.

Oprah Winfrey: (Learn from Every Experience) – Use your Life as a Class.

I believe that as long as you are being true to who you really are inside and not who you present to the world then you will have true happiness, inner peace and a blessed life.

what lies behind us

 
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Posted by on January 8, 2013 in Blog

 

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Welcome 2013 – Happy New Year!

01 Jan

Out with the Old, In with the New

2013The New Year of 2013 is now here and I always feel the same level of excitement at the beginning of every new year because of all the possibilities, opportunities and energy that is in the air.  I know I said last year that I felt 2012 was going to be a good year for everyone but that feeling has developed to an even stronger level for 2013.  I’ve learned to “just go with my feelings” when I get them because eventually the reality becomes clear, not when I think it should but when the timing is finally right.

I had a lot of transitional change and growth throughout the year of 2012, maybe not everyone had experienced or felt this but I did.  I say transitional because the changes were not sudden, I finally began to see things from a perspective that has allowed me to accept things that just aren’t meant to be any different than they are.  It was another year of reflection, realization and learning and honestly I am really enjoying the liberation and freedom those thought processes bring.  Especially at the end of the year because not only am I looking ahead but I’m reflecting back to see how much farther I’ve come.  I don’t ever want to stop learning or challenging myself because that is what inspires me to keep pushing myself on to the next level.

Last year helped me to better define my focus of what I envision for my future and that focus has strengthened not only my determination and perseverance but it has helped me to develop a more guided sense of discipline.  I wouldn’t say that I never had these qualities it’s just that when I was in my 20’s I didn’t have a direction or focus that required them so they were relatively unused.  I don’t think that we really discover who we are or what we are made of until we have to, out of necessity.

something wonderfulThis is the best time of the year to let go of all that has held you back, wipe the slate clean and start fresh so that you can embrace, welcome and live your best life.  Sometimes when something ends it isn’t because you are meant to hurt or feel sad but rather to make room for what is just around the corner and your hands and heart need to be open to accept and embrace it and more often than not, it’s something better.

This year I have resolutions that are an extension of last year’s because thanks to my reinforced discipline they will now continue on as a pattern rather than a resolution.  I have many new dreams that I want to accomplish and an abundance of energy that is going to support, motivate and carry me through.

I know it’s easy to make the plans and I think in some of my past years I either used to make them too far in advance or I would lose my motivation and then I’d say “I’ll do it next year”.  I know all too well how easily that can happen but I can assure you that there is a great deal of pride and sense of accomplishment when you stay the course you’ve set out on.

Whether you make resolutions or not I believe that the time of the year that has the strongest energy is at the beginning and if there is something you want to change or accomplish now is the time to initiate it.  The energy circling through the universe at this time is magical, full of hopes and dreams, use it to your best advantage!

Happy New Year!   I wish you all a Safe, Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2013.

happy new year

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2013 in Blog

 

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