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Lighten Up!

16 Feb

And Let the Love Flow

Are you struggling in any or all areas of your life?  Does it feel like something is holding you back from the changes you want to see occur?  It all starts with your thoughts, specifically your dominant ones, which thoughts are you encouraging, embellishing and embracing?  Are you letting the experiences in your life that have hurt you define and shape the story and direction of your life?  The time to change is now and it begins with letting go of that which no longer serves you.

Ease up, relax and settle back into your authentic self, dig deep down if you have to but get in touch with who you are at your soul level.  If you are feeling the grips of struggle it is likely that part of you hasn’t had a voice for a while and you would be doing yourself a great kindness by re-connecting.

Your answers, where you want to go and what you want to see change are found within the silence.  If you have long forgotten what you wanted in life or aren’t sure anymore then you really need to pay attention to those whisperings, they come from your heart and your soul and they won’t lead you in the wrong direction.

To see the manifestation of your dreams and all you desire you must set your intention and then blend with the energetic flow of least resistance.  It is actually easier to do than you may think, it’s as easy as breathing.  The only reason letting go seems to be so difficult is because you have become too accustomed to going against the stream instead of allowing it to carry you.

Have you ever noticed how relaxed, happy and zen anyone who has seen their dreams and desires manifest are?  Of course they would be happy because they are finally “living their dream” but it’s also because stepping into that state began with letting go, having faith and trusting in the divine to lead you to your true destiny, whatever that may be.  There is much comfort and ease in that state of being, more than you may realize and definitely more than anyone trying to discourage you will acknowledge.

When you feel like you are constantly in the challenges of life you are not relaxed, happy or zen, you are stressed.  Has the amount of stress you put on yourself in any given situation every positively changed the outcome?  I would bet no, simply because I have done this to myself, more than once actually, and every time it’s been a total waste of energy that I could have put to better positive use.

I’ve noticed that the times when I’ve felt relaxed, happy and zen that my life flows with much more ease and in hindsight I find myself recognizing the patterned dysfunction of it all and wondering why when I know I am doing this to myself do I continue to embrace it?  Simple, it’s a conditioning that needs to be broken, changed, re-aligned and re-formatted into a positively charged pattern, this takes discipline and time so don’t get discouraged.

From the time we are young we are conditioned to be fearful, something for sure is going to catch up with you and ruin your “not likely to achieve” dreams.  We are told to be realistic and not to expect too much, the world doesn’t just give you all the breaks.  Ok, for a small part of that I will agree and I will tell you why.  It is true you aren’t going to get all the breaks at least not for free, you are actually going to have to do the work.  Anything worth having is worth working for, you can’t just ask for abundance and then do nothing to work toward it but as long as you put your intention out there, believe in it, feel it, blend it with that energy and then do your work the opportunity for those breaks begin to open up.

When you do the work you will find your confidence, self-worth and personal empowerment begin to grow and after a while the work doesn’t seem as hard now as it was at the beginning and that is because the first step of this journey is letting go.

Changing that thought so that you are no longer holding onto the fear is the most difficult and monumental part of positive change but it can be done!

  • What do you want to see manifest in your life?
  • What are you willing to do to make it happen?

Get out there now, the sky is your limit!

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2018 in Blog

 

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Truly, Madly, Deeply

10 Feb

Into Your Dreams!

It is not just your waking dreams but your sleeping dreams as well that are there to guide you through the deluge of daily thoughts and challenges and into your hearts greatest desires.  Pay attention!  They are not insignificant, we think and dream to work through life’s twists and turns but your dreams can also lead you to what you may be ignoring or missing.  Life’s lessons come not only in your daily life but also within your dreams, especially because when you are at rest you are more open to accepting greater insight.  Even the dreams that might not always make sense contain signs and messages whether it is related to love, change or a decision you may be struggling with or asking questions about.

There is always an element of significance in the representations used in your dreams whether that is a person, animal, event or combination altogether.  The meanings and messages will be different for everyone and it’s just a matter of developing your own catalogue of symbolism and how it relates to you.  When you start to connect things in this way I think you will find many parallels will begin to open up and occur in your daily interactions, the Universe has much to show you.

Your dreams come from your heart and soul and quietly blend with the subconscious part of you that you may not always give an open voice to.  Fight for your dreams, take bold action and go in the direction they are guiding you toward.  They serve to remind you that you are a free spirit with boundless opportunities available all you need do is ask, believe and you will receive.

Have you ever felt that your dream seemed so vivid and clear that when you awoke the energy still lingered strongly around you?  We can dream visit with others, definitely with spirit and loved ones lost but I also believe we can connect with people in physical existence now.  We are all connected in so many ways, through mind and thought, life and experiences but also with those we haven’t yet met.

I have had dreams that include people I know and people I don’t know and not all of them lead me to life’s greatest answers but some do challenge me to dig a little deeper into my well of creativity.  Not every dream is a hoax or fantasy and they can contain answers for you to discover, I don’t think it’s too far a stretch from what your heart may know but your mind may be guarding.

I think it’s time for you to take your dreams both waking and sleeping more seriously and allow the messages to guide you towards your best life.  Let your inner voice and imagination speak through your dreams, your inner spirit only wants you to let your beautiful energy shine.

Your imagination is where the uninhibited, unbiased glory of your being resides and you should definitely let that part of yourself out to play often.

  • What if you allowed yourself to embrace your sleeping dreams?
  • What if you opened your awareness and allowed the Universe to guide you?
  • What if you started to believe in those dreams and the Law of Attraction provided you with signs and synchronicities to support them?

Would it be so bad to let yourself flourish without judgement just embracing the peace and happiness as a soul in a state of grace and contentment?

Doesn’t seem like there is a downside to this experiment to me except that you might experience some uninhibited happiness, freedom, joy and the very possibility of stepping into those dreams for real.

 
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Posted by on February 10, 2018 in Blog

 

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From Now to Zen

26 Dec

It’s A Love Thing!

Listening to your soul whisperings is a connection that is always there but isn’t always heard.  Life experiences can color and cloak how you interpret those signs and revelations.  I don’t think you have an idea of who you really are or what you really want and why until you shed these layers.  Your experiences are not meant to hold you back or limit your opportunities, they are meant to shape and prepare you for your greatness!

It isn’t until after one or possibly a few more heavy hearted experiences that you may start to wonder why your life is going in a direction you really don’t desire.  Why do you keep ending up in relationships or situations that aren’t bringing out the best in you and why doesn’t it feel right in your heart?

Soul searching, silencing your mind and embracing the stillness so you can hear and feel your soul is the only way to true meaning and fulfillment.  Once you begin to understand why and how you process your challenges you will find yourself thirsting to pursue this greater sense of clarity in all areas of your life and that will lead you to your true purpose.

When you know you know

This heightened awareness will come in at a time in your life when you are ready to move into a state of openness and willingness to look at where you’ve been to find a better path to where you’re going.  Suddenly things start to become very clear and past issues that once held you back no longer carry the weight they did.  The desire to let go of that which no longer serves you to embrace a more peaceful way of living comes to the forefront of your thoughts and you realize this is your crossroad.

Do I continue down this same path which isn’t really inspiring me with peace and happiness?

Or do I blaze a new trail?

These are your life changing moments and they propel you onto a new path, one that will allow you to get in touch with what really matters to you, which is really the most important question you can ask yourself.  I would bet that the answer your ego would give versus the answer your soul would have would be as different as night and day.  The ego wants you to feel fear and believe that you are unworthy, unlovable or cursed, that everything you hope or want for is unattainable and you don’t deserve it anyway.  The soul wants you to know you are worthy, loved endlessly and have insurmountable opportunities ahead to chart any path you desire.  When you are in alignment with your soul you will find your way to your true destiny, all the happiness you seek, the luxury of authentic/true connection with others and a sense of peace which all I can say is Zen!

True Meaning, hearing the voice within

What matters most?

What do you really want?

I think when you get to this place your thoughts are recharged and you begin to evaluate the things that matter most to you.  You gain a new perspective and recognition for certain pieces of your life that shouldn’t have carried on for so long which allows you to finally let them go.  You start to realize how much time you’ve wasted on experiences that shouldn’t have been giving so much of your power away.  This isn’t to say that what weighs on your heart, mind or soul doesn’t matter but rather how much does it matter for you to lose precious time over or hold yourself back from having new and more healthier experiences that truly connect with your heart.

True Fulfillment, honoring the voice within

What inspires me?

Is it too late?

Heeding the call and allowing your inner voice to be acknowledged knowing how vulnerable that may leave you is a little frightening but in a good way.  I think many view vulnerability as weakness but it is actually pure strength, it takes more strength to be vulnerable than it does to hide behind a false face.  Vulnerability, while scary at times is also quite exhilarating because there is nothing left to bare, one cannot strip you down any further once you are already fully exposed so it allows you to increase your strength from your core.

Do you see what I see?

That door closed, stop staring at it, turn around and see the open window!  Every ending has its sadness but it is also the beginning of something new, change is around the corner and if you spend too much time staring at that closed door you may miss noticing the window of opportunity that has opened just for you.  Far too often we spend too much time focusing on what we had, what we’ve lost, what we sacrificed, what could have been different, all good points but what are you going to do now to change your direction?  Your answers are connected to discovering what true meaning and true fulfillment mean for you, for me it means never giving up, never giving in and keeping my faith in all the things I have dreamed about.  I am not a Dreamer, I am a Visionary!

New Year, New Life

I had thought that 2017 was going to be “the year” and as I’ve come to realize I think it was “the year” but not for the reasons I had initially thought, it was restless and the struggle to move forward seemed like one step forward, two steps back at times but I am labeling it the “year of enlightenment” and 2018 will produce the changes and manifestations of that enlightenment in a very positive way!

Everyone has their own special gifts, opportunities and magical connections destined but this is only after you’ve done your work.  Sometimes when the opportunities come along you are in a funk and it’s just not going to happen and then when you feel you are ready the opportunity is no longer there.  Don’t worry you didn’t miss it what is meant for you will never pass you by, if something didn’t happen at a time when you expected or wanted it’s because it really was not meant for you.

Everything happens for a reason and everything comes to you at the exact right moment so do your work, be ready and keep dreaming!

From Now to Zen ,,,,,, it’s a Love Thing

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2017 in Blog

 

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Honestly It Seems ……..

28 Oct

Like The World Needs a Hug!

It’s been a while, I know and I’ve been working hard toward my dreams which you will see closer to the end of this post but for now this is what is on my mind.

How did we get to this place?  How are we doing in this race?  Really?

As much as I know that we are spiritual beings having a human experience it feels like we are human experiences trying to be spiritual.  We’ve taken many steps forward but at times it feels like we are taking just as many backward.  I don’t mean this to sound negative at all but the steps to peace are so much easier then it seems in the steps that are being taken and honestly I feel like the world just “needs a hug”.

I think this is something not just global but something we can look at and attend to in our daily and interpersonal lives.

What really matters?

What is really the problem?

I think we all get so caught up in our own grievances that sometimes we forget to see the very real connections we are missing for reasons that in hindsight are really not as important as we may think they are.

This isn’t to say that what you think or feel isn’t important but rather to ask yourself “how important are they” in that bigger picture?

  • How worth it is it to hold on to something that causes you sadness or hurt?
  • How worth it is it to carry that “something” into every experience and relationship going forward?
  • How worth it is it allow that “something” to prevent you from embracing the life you deserve?

I ask you to think about those in your family line that were the most inspirational to you, the ones you admired or tried to “live up to” in respect to how much you loved or thought of them.  Then ask yourself are you living a life they would be so proud of?

I’m just tidying up my 2nd book for the publication process to begin and feeling quite peaceful as well as eager to continue my forge ahead.  I want to encourage everyone to believe that whatever you can imagine in your mind is actually available, believe in yourself and know that you have within you the ability to achieve whatever it is that you want to see in your life.  Believing in yourself and your dreams is the key.  Take the locks off from what you’ve placed in your mind as the barriers blocking you from achieving your dreams.  They only exist in your mind, they do not indefinitely bind you, you come from a place where nothing is impossible.  You can achieve whatever you believe for yourself and you need to aim high!

Trust me I’ve seen the impossible achieved in many of those that inspire me and they didn’t accomplish any great feat except to believe in themselves.  If you are feeling like you can’t then look to those that encourage and inspire you and know that nothing is impossible.  Just because you aren’t there yet doesn’t mean you can’t get there from where you are now, it just means you have to work.  Opportunities are work and achievement is the result of what you may or may not have thought you were capable of accomplishing.

It’s not just those in the physical world that support you but those in the non-physical, they are all around you, hoping, wishing and encouraging you along.

Signs are all around us, pay attention!

Trust that those you love and who loved you will bring to you what you need.  After all they do have your best interests at heart.

 
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Posted by on October 28, 2017 in Blog

 

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Have A Word With Yourself!

25 Jan

You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge

Do you find, at times, that you jump to the wrong conclusions causing an inappropriate reaction before letting a conversation finish?

Do you find that those reactions are consistently having a negative effect on your relationships and communications with others?

Do you often believe that you are right without considering the possibility that there may be more for you to learn?

When you close your mind from empathizing, understanding, considering and/or acknowledging other points of view then you cut yourself off from your own evolution of personal growth.  Not only does this prevent you from developing your soul but it stagnates your relations with others as they continue to grow and evolve with others that share their interests.

We all want to connect, we all want to be heard and we all want to be acknowledged.

When you disregard another person’s feelings you are rejecting their right to have a voice, you are suppressing their concerns and most importantly you are negating their pain.

when-a-person-says-you-hurt-them

Respect, appreciation and gratitude are the foundation for every aspect of life;

Respect is not only those around you (like the waiter, the clerk at the store or someone down on their luck) but the items you use in your daily life, everything is energy!

If you were to abuse your vehicle, an appliance or your home eventually they would begin to deteriorate.  Nature and our environment thrive on the generosity of our respect, for it is all living energy that requires nurturing and without that becomes listless and dies, some damage irreversible.

Appreciation for every experience, lesson and opportunity can provide you with a renewed sense of insight.  Not just the good but sometimes even the worst experiences lead us onto a better path and usually with a stronger of self and clarity.  It may be that your purpose is connected to one of those experiences.

Lessons are also an essential part of life, not everything can be gained from the knowledge contained in books, first-hand experience is the best teacher you will ever have, sometimes not the most favorable but usually the most effective.  All opportunities are gifts, ones that shouldn’t be refused because they look like work or aren’t as appealing to the eye as you’d like.

Gratitude (noun):  the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Is gratitude something you do occasionally or how you live?  Is your gratitude based only on what you receive from others or are you grateful for their mere presence in your life?  Do you only at times offer the words to express that gratitude or is it something you believe is just known by those around you?

Active gratitude is an empowering and happy energy to embrace and practice daily, one that will fuel and nurture your soul and the souls of those around you.+

Without gratitude you lose the whole purpose of your journey, without respect you lose yourself.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge!

prime-purpose-is-to-not-hurt-others

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2017 in Blog

 

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What Are You Talking About?

21 Sep

Your Thoughts and Energy are a Package Deal

Have you ever noticed that what you consistently think and/or talk about is what keeps showing up in your life?  Chances are it’s the negative aspect that you probably notice the most because it’s what you don’t want.  Positive occurrences are most times thought of as luck and not the manifestation of your thoughts, even when they are positive.

Depending upon which energetic field your thoughts and conversations fall under (positive or negative), you can expect it will all become a self-actualizing prophecy for you because your thoughts and energy are a package deal.  What you think and talk about is what you will create, so be very wary of which energy you are feeding.

I think we all notice the result of negative thinking more because it’s an aggravation to have it show up in your life, so you stress about it, talk with others about how bothered you are by it.

Pay attention dear one, you are now feeding it!

I think everyone has had the bad day, the bad week, the bad month, hopefully not so much the bad year but all of this is the creation of your thoughts.  It’s hard to change the process around from talking about the things that you don’t want especially when they are upsetting to you.  It’s a natural thing to want to discuss, deal and discard the things that have either hurt or hindered you from moving in the direction you want to see yourself going.

By becoming aware of how those thoughts and conversations are influencing what you see develop day after day in your life you will understand how important it is to curb anything negative.  No matter how hard it is at the beginning to change that habit, that addiction to processing, the changes you see develop as a result will be inspiration enough to continue on.  Day by day it becomes easier to let those irritations not weave their way back in and you will see a new habit evolve, a healthier way of life that leads you to the things you want and the things that are meant for you.

Are you seeing the light?  That’s really what it’s like, the positive aspects of life bring a lightness to your life because you are allowing the weight, the heaviness of the negativity to be lifted from you and in reality all you’ve done is allowed your soul its freedom.  The soul, your inner spirit seeks purpose, connection, and an environment that inspires and cultivates your higher calling.  Imagine a place where all things are possible, this is it!

Why do we not embrace it?  Simply because it is the ego that keeps you immersed in a negative, fear based state, all for the sake of controlling you from believing that you can access this place, this state, this happiness.

ego-soul

I’ve always heard that comparison and it had been difficult for me to recognize/differenciate the two (ego & spirit), I didn’t feel like there was any power struggle actually going on, at least nothing that I could easily identify.  When the ego is trying to control though I’ve learned to recognize how it affects me physically and emotionally which shows up like stress, anxiety, a general feeling of disarray in my thoughts which is ultimately resistance between the two opposing sides.

I think how it presents itself is different in everyone.  We are all unique so it makes sense that it’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of answer or solution, it’s just a matter of raising your own awareness.  It’s not like being able to see the difference between colors of black and white but that is how opposing these two really are.

Ego (the brain) wants to rule because it knows, it knows better, it knows all and who’s going to argue, it’s gotten you this far hasn’t it?  Egotistical tells you how great you are, how much you deserve and where you should be.

Spirit (the soul) doesn’t want to rule anything, it wants to give you free will, to choose what your heart desires, to choose what nourishes and feeds your inner glory.  That’s it.

My four steps to counteracting my ego when I notice physical or emotional changes in my thoughts and energy are awareness, choice, acceptance and faith.

Awareness:  Learn to recognize how your external world affects your internal thoughts and energy, what triggers the negative and what cultivates the positive.

Choice:  You always have a choice!  The reasons you choose to tell yourself as to why you can’t do or change something is always prompted by the ego.  Choose to shut it out.  Choose to find greater understanding and awareness, it will show up because once you’ve made that choice you are now open to those answers.

Acceptance:  It’s not always easy to accept the things you cannot change but accepting that you don’t know everything all the time, that maybe some things you’re not supposed to change, sometimes you’re supposed to adapt.  Maybe the Universe has a different plan!

Faith:  When you fall into a dark place sometimes it’s hard to have faith, this is where I think acceptance is linked.  Everything happens for a reason, even things you don’t understand, the bad things too and how could there possibly be a reason for them?  The understanding comes later, sometimes years later but I think it occurs when you’ve made that shift, embraced that which you don’t understand but made it through the storm anyway.

These “Lessons of the Tao” which I became aware of, with great thanks to Dr. Wayne Dyer (1941-2015), help to keep things in perspective for me;

  • Change your thoughts and your life will change
  • There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way
  • You accomplish much by trying less
  • Trust in others to know what’s best for themselves
  • Live without attachment and be generous
  • When you have a choice to be right or to be kind, always pick kind
  • Rather than looking for miracles, see everything as a miracle in your life

the-best-teachers

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2016 in Blog

 

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Rise or Fall

07 Sep

What Is Your Objective?

Are you going to let the difficult times determine your value and quality of life?

Are you going to build your future on a foundation of pains from the past?

Or you going to let it inspire you to change the direction to a more positive outcome?

with-everything-that-has-happened

When you are feeling stuck which I think everyone has at one time or another (hopefully not too often) you are presented with an opportunity.  The only problem is most of the time you don’t see it as opportunity because when you’re in that place of feeling stuck there are other emotions going on that cloud your view.

The opportunity is change!  Changing your thoughts, changing your attitude, changing your outlook and ultimately changing your life direction.

When you move in the direction of positive change it alters everything in your life:

  • It starts with you and your thoughts, do they sway a little stronger one way or the other (positive or negative side)? What you tell yourself, especially from your subconscious impacts how you feel and how you feel impacts how you interact with others.
  • When your thoughts change so do your interactions with others and how you view and perceive them. Things that possibly annoyed you before begin to become not so important, not because someone else has changed but because you have.
  • When your attitude changes that changes your outlook and your world around you becomes less offensive, not because others have changed but because you have. It’s not “what you get is what you see”, it’s actually “what you see is what you get”.

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to change your thinking around when you are coming from the place of feeling stuck.  It’s hard to find something solid to stand on so you can rise up from whatever has put you in this place but it is possible.

It takes only a quick shift of thought, that lightning moment to change the direction.  I know that when I get an idea in my head I don’t let it go until I’ve exhausted everything trying.

No one is a failure for trying something that didn’t work, not trying will do more damage to you emotionally through regret than any effort ever made that didn’t work.

Vulnerability is the only way and it’s scary to put yourself out there especially when you don’t know the answers or feel you aren’t ready or strong enough to have them heard but it is such a freeing place to be.  When you allow yourself to be vulnerable there’s nothing left to hide, nothing left to expose or exploit, that changes it into power, personal power!

Whatever caused you to feel stuck is usually not something external but something you find the answers for internally.  Circumstance is just that and circumstance cannot hinder your personal power only you can do that by thinking you are powerless to change a situation.

All situations can be challenged and possibly changed and feeling stuck is only a state of mind, one caused by your own resistance of thinking you are powerless.

Bottom line is you need to be the change you wish to see!

choosing-thoughts-habit

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2016 in Blog

 

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Energy Work: It’s messy…and totally worth it! — Daily Muse

20 Aug

“What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications.”~Nora Ephron Energy Work is Messy Those who have chosen a healing path know that doing energy work is not glamorous. It’s just the opposite. It’s messy, […]

via Energy Work: It’s messy…and totally worth it! — Daily Muse

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2016 in Blog

 

Cause and Effect

11 Jun

When Change is Your Only Option

[ I haven’t posted any writings in the last few months as I am working on another book but recently I’ve had the thoughts below marinating in my mind and felt the need to share ]

what are you doing for others

Changes in life aren’t always planned or even known, sometimes they just occur all of a sudden and turn your world upside down, hopefully it’s a more positive experience rather than negative but what usually follows is a new ways of seeing, thinking, believing and living.

Transitioning into change isn’t always an easy road but it is naturally how the path progresses.  When you are moving from one phase of your life into the next the changes are not just what is around you, but also what is within.  Changing old habits and/or outdated ways of thinking usually manifests after you’ve either been resisting or struggling to move forward, sometimes without even realizing it.

All life evolves, that we all know and how you personally evolve depends on your choices which of course is of your free will to make but transition can be made easier if you choose to embrace it instead of resisting it (believe me, I’m not saying I’ve always done this, quite the opposite at times, but when you know better, you do better).  I’ve learned to recognize that when I am resisting transition (which I haven’t always been able to identify in the past) that I feel scattered, frustrated, blocked like I’m banging my head against a wall without fully understanding why only to later come to the realization, that “aha” moment, when things start to smooth out and make sense.  Clarity and awareness can be a beautiful thing.

Awareness in yourself is a learned experience, recognizing and reading the signs and symptoms in your own personality is an opportunity worth taking advantage of and sometimes necessary.  Rising to your own challenges will advance every aspect of your character and life but only if you are open to it.  You have to be open to it or it won’t work.

I choose to embrace the positive aspects in all areas of life, I do not like to shed light on negativity for too long because I’m very wary of feeding the wrong energy, but unfortunately sometimes (dare I say, too often) the negative happens and it needs to be looked at in order to raise awareness.

Awareness in others is also a learned experience, recognizing and listening to your inner voice.

When something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t!

Every time I have ignored my gut instinct it always comes back to bite me and that moment of realization, knowing I knew then what I’m learning now feels worse for me because I know I purposely didn’t listen.

I’ve seen a few too many in the last little while of those I care about that are taken advantage of because of their kindness and trust.  Too often when your gut tells you something is wrong you silence it, not always because you think you know better but because within the frame of kindness is the benefit of the doubt.  The benefit of doubt is given out of trust and those who do not have good intentions will manipulate and thrive on that because they are not serving a higher purpose, they are serving only themselves.

  • How does one learn to differentiate between the good and bad?
  • How does one learn to trust their instincts after falling victim to such toxicity and ill will?
  • How does one learn to trust others again?
  • Does the benefit of the doubt ever come back to you?

I think these are the questions you end up asking yourself over and over and over again when an event changes your life abruptly.

I wish there was a quick fix, a way to go back, a way to erase the damage, unfortunately there is not.  The quotes always say you have two options, you rise again or you let it define you, but I don’t know if I agree with that.

I believe there is one option, you rise again, become stronger!

The past cannot be changed, there is absolutely no way you can go back and re-write the story, there is no benefit to re-living it over and over in your mind, you are only torturing yourself. 

There is a process though and the only way to get through a storm is to brave it and fight your way through.  In order to move forward you have to feel the range of emotions as they come and let the wound heal in the time it needs to do so.

The lesson learned, the awareness gained will be that you refuse to give up your personal power to anyone again.  It’s not about forgiving someone else, someone who may or may not be sorry, it’s about forgiving yourself for gracing someone with your kindness and trust when they weren’t worthy of it.

The only thing you can do is make peace with it so you don’t re-live it every day in your present or into your future.  As terrible as an experience is, was or feels, the effects of the experience changes you and how that change manifests within is up to you.

Be a warrior for you!

mirror, mirror

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2016 in Blog

 

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I Don’t Care What You Think!

19 Mar

Feeling Vulnerable Without Fear

Sometimes the protective coat of armor doesn’t cover the fear created within the mind.  I think when you’re young, you are most susceptible and vulnerable to the outside influence and/or opinion of others.  So much so that the slightest comment can feel like a horrible criticism directed at you to make you feel inadequate.  I know because I’ve felt that and maybe those that have made the comment may not have realized the magnitude in which they’ve affected me and maybe those that have made the comment meant nothing negative but I just took it that way.  I think that only time, maturity, personal growth and the always “under construction” parts of your “self” as in esteem, worth and confidence is the key to finally breaking away and feeling vulnerable without fear.

tongue has no bones

Growing into the reserves of strength I know we all have is a difficult road and maintaining confidence through your steps and missteps is a challenge in itself.  However you choose to help yourself along through the emotional conflict you’re likely to experience I think that as long as you continue to try to be better than you were the day before then you are progressing, even if it doesn’t feel like it.  I don’t think any of us realize how much inner strength there is to tap into and how much adversity we actually have the ability to withstand.  Until you are really tested, you just don’t know.

Recognizing how far you’ve come from where you were is something you can look back at after some time to mark in your mind and heart of your progress.  Any progress in a positive direction is something to be acknowledged and celebrated because you could have gone in a negative direction and that would have benefited no one.

Everyone wants to be seen and heard and not for any kind of ego boost but because it is a big part of connecting with others, the part that lets you know you matter and the part that lets you know they care.  It doesn’t take a large amount of energy to be compassionate or kind towards others and it will cost you nothing.

So how do you get to the point of saying “I don’t care what you think”?  It’s not really as derogatory as it sounds more like I’ve grown into myself enough to know that what others think of me doesn’t define me, doesn’t make me more or less of a person and isn’t going to change who I am.  It’s not a challenging attitude but rather a more “self” reflected and strengthened version, humbled and content enough to quiet the thoughts of doubt.

I think too often the focus is worrying about how others will perceive and whether or not they will like you, the bigger question is, “do you like yourself”?  If your answer is yes, there is nothing left for you to worry about, you are enough and those that matter will recognize that.  If your answer is no, then I believe self-reflection is the beginning, at some point in your life you had to have liked yourself, find your way back there and re-build from that point.

the roar of freedom

Vulnerability lies in many corners of the heart and mind and at a moment’s notice it can change your nice quiet, calm and contented self into a scared little child.  Of course there are variations of that fear and I think many of us don’t get as far as the scared little child but you get the idea.  Fear and vulnerability or fear of vulnerability, however you want to link the two, they are usually connected in some way.

FEAR:             to be afraid of (something or someone)

                        to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)

                        to be afraid and worried

 

VULNERABILITY:     easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally or emotionally

                                    open to attack, harm or damage

I think both of these definitions are valid reasons for not wanting to leave yourself open to fear or vulnerability but while you may be protecting yourself from others and the possibility of something negative.  You are also protecting yourself from others and the possibility of something positive.

While you may feel protected and comfortable within the walls you build to protect your heart you are also keeping everything else out.  The most magical things happen outside your comfort zone!

stepping into your greatness

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2016 in Blog

 

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