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Forgive & Appreciate Your Way Back to Happiness!

24 Jun

Letting Go for Your Own Freedom

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake 

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

dirty feet

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.just be happy

It’s your choice but I’d suggest to “Choose Happiness”.

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Blog

 

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To Err is Human

06 Oct

To Forgive is Divine

Forgiveness allows you relief from carrying the burden that causes you to remain present in a moment that has hurt you deeply.

It takes courage to allow yourself to be in a place that helps you to forgive others for feeling disempowered by their words or actions. Vulnerability is a necessary component of all relationships, without it you won’t experience the true connection but with it there is a risk of being hurt. If you take your past hurts with you into your present and future it may provide you with a false sense of security, a wall that you think may protect you from getting hurt again, but it prevents you from truly shining and others from getting to know your heart.

When you’ve been hurt deeply the ego’s logic is to hold onto the hurt and anger in the hopes that it will somehow affect the person that caused you the hurt. This couldn’t be further from the truth, chances are very likely that they are unaffected, unconcerned and/or unaware. That hurt, however, will continue to writhe inside of you until you finally reach the place of letting it go and letting it go you must!

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die

–        Buddha

I absolutely love this quote I got from an Oprah show a while back, it bears repeating again and again until you allow yourself to feel and embrace the power in these words.

  • Forgiveness does not mean you have to accept the person back into your life.
  • Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning what they did or that you are in any way saying it was OK what they did.
  • Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

Forgiveness is where your strength lies because it allows you to embrace more fulfilling aspects of character like compassion and empathy. That strength says “I’m letting you go so you can’t continue to hurt me with this memory that I’m remembering daily”. By releasing this memory as past and allowing the grief of the hurt to be felt you then give yourself the opportunity to heal and become stronger, strong enough to never find yourself in that same place again. Sometimes the hurt caused by another can feel very personal and intense and to hold yourself in the same place day after day after day can be a way of punishing yourself for letting someone get close enough to hurt you, although I don’t think that is realized at the time.

Forgiveness paves the way for all things beautiful and positive. It gives you the opportunity to see and feel the miracles of life that we often overlook or take for granted. Forgiveness helps you into the state of gratitude so you are able to recognize the blessings you’ve had and those that are still to come.

There are so many before us that have gone through so much more than we will ever have to know because they have lived, their sacrifices paved a better road for us. Without the blessing of their sacrifices, our miracles in life would not be as abundant. Take a moment to acknowledge and recognize history and know that no matter how difficult life may be right now, there are always options, if there weren’t then those before us wouldn’t have been able to provide us with the changes we know in life today.

Your crown has been bought and paid for. All you have to do is put it on your head.

  • James Baldwin

Appreciate yourself and life enough to know that you have every opportunity to pave that path even better for the future of those you do not know and in doing so you may have positively inspired hope in another.

Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.

  • Jonas Salk

how we ran the race

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Seeds of Doubt

27 Aug

Grow the Spaces to Disconnection

When seeds of doubt pop up in your relationships questions then follow, distance is created when those questions go unaddressed and/or unanswered.  Loss of connection is akin to loss of trust, loss of faith or loss of hope as they all create spaces that eventually make up the distance that creates the loss of connection.

Communication is the greatest protector against these losses because it builds the bridge that always keeps those you cherish close.  Acknowledgement and validation nurtures those loved and helps them to continually grow and evolve with you in symbiotic harmony.

Some of my experiences have been that the dedication is not met on an equal level and the result is moving on.  That doesn’t mean this is a bad thing because not everyone in our lives are meant to be with us for lifetime, some are there to help through transition, to help teach a specific lesson or to motivate change.

We are all different from each other and right down to every cell of our being as it is necessary to create the human experiences we provide for each other and connectively.  Some hurt or elate more than others but from those feelings come wisdom, experience, growth and eventually inner peace.

Is it lost forever?  I really don’t think it is or has to be but like trust, faith or hope it has to be rebuilt and rebuilding usually takes much more work and dedication.  It really depends on the strength of the foundation and if it manifested organically or began from falsehood.  Intention is everything!

I do believe that everyone deserves the chance to show you who they are but trying to change what they show you may or may not be you setting yourself up for disappointment, depending on your perspective.

  • Do you always tackle the impossible in the hopes to change what is?
  • Are you drawn to the impossible so you won’t have to really connect and feel vulnerable?
  • Is the dynamic you constantly find yourself in a reflection of your formative year’s environment?

All three of these questions could have easily been my unrealized mantra.  We all have behaviours that we are consciously or subconsciously predisposed to and there are probably a variety of reasons as to why we allow them to have controlling interest in our lives.

Can we change it?  Absolutely yes!

Anyone at any time can change any behaviour or aspect of their life into a positive direction that provides a happier and more stable state of being.  If you cannot envision the result you want to see that doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen but if you do not believe in it or in yourself then it is your belief that will manifest the outcome.  This includes the seeds of doubt and any communication that has broken down, determination and the willingness to make the effort is necessary for success.  Anything worth having, is worth working for!

I know for myself that when it comes to pursuing something I envision to occur in my life, I do not stop until I’ve exhausted every avenue and all possibilities.  If something does not go according to my vision I’ve found that it leads me in a different and better direction than I had ever considered.  I do not believe in failure, something that doesn’t go as you want doesn’t mean you failed because it usually directs you to something better as long as you are open to it.  That has been my experience every time!

I continue to strive to attain devotion and honesty in addressing the seeds of doubt when they arise, not everything needs to be over-dramatized but at the same time if it matters to you, it matters; and if it matters to you, it should also matter to those you cherish and vice versa.

At the end of the day you know within if you gave it your all, if you left no stone unturned, and that’s what allows you to look in the mirror and be content.

a life that matters

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Blog

 

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Are You Willing?

18 Jun

To See Your Life Clearly

It’s the first step in that new and unfamiliar direction, the walk into the unknown where anything can happen, your anticipation is heightened and your vulnerability is exposed more than you are comfortable with but those are the moments that you need to push yourself to the next level because they carry your biggest opportunities and realizations.clarity

You know when I was younger I had no idea what was available for me to take advantage of, nor did I have the inclination to gravitate toward it because I had no direction, not for any other reason than I hadn’t yet become aware. You always hear people say “if I knew then what I know now”, those are the phrases you don’t fully understand until you become aware.

Awareness is a gift that can be refused or embraced.

If you are unhappy with your life than you are likely refusing to be aware of all that the Universe is offering to you, maybe your dissatisfaction is preventing you from seeing it. When you build walls to protect yourself out of hurt or fear you are also blocking your vision of possibilities. I understand that the walls built around you are for good reason and they keep you safe from anyone ever getting to you but that’s exactly it. Those walls keep out the bad but they also keep out the good, instead of the walls learn how to properly strengthen your boundaries so that past fear or hurt stays where it should be – in the past!

If you are content and viewing life with clarity than you are likely embracing awareness and your possibilities know no limits. When you are in this zone your vision and opportunities are uninhibited because you know “The Secret”, it’s so true and it’s not a secret, it’s the inner knowing that we all have, the clarity that removes the clouds. When you can see clearly, you see everything almost from a new set of eyes, ones that are not tainted by the dirty energy but rather enhanced by the clean.

I recently watched the PBS Special of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s titled “I Can See Clearly Now”, he is such an inspiration and to me, an icon of our time. I find that my line of thought process is very similar to his which is probably why I identify with his writing so strongly so it’s not surprising to me that the part of the show that stuck with me the most is also the excerpt he put in his latest book which he said also struck him and he credits from another author.

“If we stop for a moment it is possible to perceive a pattern in our lives, the motivators that have influenced us become much more obvious. We are able to see life unfolding from both ends at once coming into the present moment but until we get to a certain point of realization this is not possible because everything is still seen as a series of apparent causes and effects.”

If you take the time to step outside of yourself for a moment as if looking in on your life as a viewer you have the opportunity to see how much influence the divine has on your life path and how everyone that has come and gone from your life has in some way changed it so that it could proceed in the direction it is meant to go.

I don’t believe in coincidence, everything happens for a reason, every experience, every event, every relationship, every hurt, every happiness. They are all there to bring you higher learning, growth, direction and clarity and from that clarity comes this realization. Finding the balance between that which your inner spirit knows (the energy that is connected to Universal knowledge) and the life that you live daily is what makes travelling the distance challenging because sometimes you may accidently step off your path but I believe that if you venture too far off course the Universe finds a divine way to guide you back.

So now that you are aware are you willing? Change doesn’t happen overnight obviously but change doesn’t happen at all if you don’t make the decision to do so. Doesn’t that sound simple? It begins with your decision, that’s it! The next door won’t open without your conscious decision to walk through the first one and even though that first one is scary once you walk through it the ones that follow are easier.

enlightenment quote

 
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Posted by on June 18, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Reward is the Warmth in Your Heart

14 May

Expectations Have No Place!

The “Give and Take” in every relationship should be one of equality on at least one level but hopefully more. The act of giving should always be with an open heart and without expectation but when the act of taking becomes overwhelming perhaps it’s time to revisit the foundation of the relationship to avoid developing the negative emotion of resentment.

An expectation is like broken trust or loyalty, it is corrosive, it does damage in ways you don’t even realize. An expectation can hold on well after a relationship has dissolved and develop into stumbling blocks or red flags during the period of time when new relationships begin to form. You may not realize it but when you are holding onto something from your past and are unwilling to change your story it deters people from wanting to be in your company and the only person that hurts is you.

Everyone always says “it’s the little things that count” and that is so true but if you attach an expectation to even the little things it’s diminishes its value greatly.

Respect, gratitude and graciousness towards others shouldn’t be compromised to serve only one and there is more reward, warmth in your heart, when the intention comes from a place of purity. No action taken for the purpose of manipulation, lies or self-serving behaviour comes from a positive place. Intention is everything and if it is anything less than unconditional then the intention that may have started out from a pure thought changes negatively. Be very aware of your intentions and actions because they speak much louder than any words can ever say and hurt at a far deeper level than anyone is usually willing to admit.

Sometimes you can unknowingly carry expectations into current or new relationships because a past issue that caused you emotional hurt is unresolved. Emotions are finicky and unpredictable and no matter how well you may think you’ve managed to control them they have a tendency to find a way back out and usually at the worst time!

I think the biggest indication to knowing you have truly moved past something is when you no longer feel any animosity or concern. Letting go is the act of releasing something you cannot change or control and allowing it to be. This is a good thing because if something is holding you back and preventing you from enjoying or embracing your life the way you deserve to than it was obviously something that didn’t belong on your path.

Trust that the universe is working for you, not against you and know that everyone that comes into your life and every experience happens for a reason. We are all an intricate and necessary part of the human existence and each of us will have an impact on at least one person if not more, I think it is best to make that impact be positive.

I heard this phrase recently, can’t remember where from but it went something like this:

“A man can accomplish anything when he realizes he’s a part of something bigger”

Think of the Universe as a huge puzzle and each one of us is a piece of it, even one of us gone causes the puzzle to be incomplete. So along that line, then what about when people pass on or new babies are born? I think the puzzle is constantly changing to adapt, encompass and embrace those changes but it doesn’t change the importance of any one of us, we are all relevant.

Once you give up your expectations, you will never be disappointed again! It’s as easy as changing your intention which immediately changes your direction and your attitude.

You can have everything you want in life if you stay focused!

expectations quote

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2014 in Blog

 

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Sometimes You Have to Travel a Long Road

30 Apr

To Go a Short Distance!

It doesn’t matter what others do, it matters what you do!

Every occurrence, circumstance or event happens for a reason and usually that reason is connected to our own higher learning. I’ve thought in the past that when someone treated me in a way that was either manipulative, disrespectful or both that they deserved eternal condemnation but that’s not for me to decide. The Universe will handle it appropriately and in the right time, I need to trust in that, step back and draw some better boundaries to ensure it doesn’t happen again. We teach others how to treat us and honestly I’ve been a little too lax in my teachings in the past. I’ve often thought that the way I treated someone would be teaching enough as to how I also wanted to be treated but their intention in life may not be in alignment with mine. Learning how to decipher their intention and find only those that are in alignment with my intention is the lesson I am still fine-tuning.

I’ve always been someone that is super motivated to get to the next level so I can find out what the level after that is and so forth. I’ve come across people who live in a negative energy but have learned how to display passion that they also want to get to the next level but the truth of it is that if they wanted to get to the next level they would be doing something, anything, to be trying to get there and the lack that seems to be stalling them in place is really their own will or desire. The issue for them is that they have become content, familiar and/or addicted to their story because it serves as a great example/reason for the obstacles that prevent them from moving forward. The problem that will continue to plague them is that they are living in a negative mindset or point of view and that prevents the Universe from bringing the positive light in so the life that they secretly hope for but believe they don’t deserve can manifest.

live your truth

Imagine if you were meant for great things, which I believe we all are, we aren’t here to suffer, we are here to build and grow our souls so they can flourish but that can’t happen if a wall of negativity is blocking it from getting through. The biggest hurdle to letting all the good things get in is tearing down that wall and embracing that which makes you feel vulnerable or scared. Every time a monumental moment occurs hesitation is always there and rightly so, all monumental moments are the cusp of some impending change that will likely alter you in every area of life, which is why they are so scary and why we hesitate. Taking a leap of faith into unknown and unfamiliar territory is unnerving to say the least but every time I’ve ever done it I’ve never been disappointed, not even once! Even if it hasn’t led me to where I thought I was going, it has led me to something better.

It may seem easier, less scary, to keep yourself safely behind the protective armor of a negative mindset because at least you’re familiar with it, no one can hurt you there because you are already in defensive/protective mode but no good can get in either. So what you block out that hurts also prevents that which is good from getting through, I ask you, what’s more hurtful?

Even though the bad stuff feels rough, hurts and sometimes feels too overwhelming to overcome, it still comes with its gifts. That which does not kill me, only makes me stronger!

The more of the tough experiences you go through the stronger you get, the more resilient you get, the more capable you are of reaching for what you want and succeeding and when you combine that with embracing all things positive you more than double the power you’ve already gained from your experiences.

Sometimes you have to travel a long road to go a short distance. Imagine what you can do when you realize how powerful you already are!

Affirmations-Will-Manifest-Your-Dreams

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2014 in Blog

 

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When You Know Better, You Do Better

23 Apr

Strengthening the Ground You Stand On!

This eye-opening phrase comes from Maya Angelou and I first heard it when watching an Oprah Winfrey show a few years ago and even though at the time I thought I understood the meaning it turns out it didn’t fully sink in until recently when watching one of Oprah’s Lifeclass segments where she really dug into it.

Even though all of her shows, master classes and now lifeclasses focus on life enrichment and enlightenment for the betterment of our inner spirits I have always found it amazing that she could interview anyone and I mean anyone, including those that have been negatively labelled by society. How does she do it without reservation or judgement with regard to the actions that have brought the negative labels attached to them? A lot of times we can end up judging another person based on what we’ve heard or seen of their actions but who are we to judge? I’m quite sure that no one is perfect, everyone has made a mistake at one time or another.

I have chastised myself for the times I’ve allowed others to take advantage of an aspect of my personality and what I finally got from this phrase was while it was not nice for someone to take advantage they were able to do so because I let them, now I know better. I can’t continually punish myself for the actions of someone else because I was hurt by it, all I can do is learn from it and strengthen my boundaries so it doesn’t happen again “When you know better, you do better”.

awakening

What an “aha” moment it was when I finally got this in its full context and along with it came the enlightenment that if someone hurt me in my past I can’t continue to judge them for it now or carry it into my future because I allowed it, I let it happen. I didn’t knowingly consent to it but I also didn’t object, I didn’t communicate my discontent and that’s on me. Just maybe, they didn’t know better or maybe they did but that doesn’t matter because all actions have karmic consequences doled out only by the Universe and if someone knowingly and/or willingly takes advantage of another it is not my karma, it is theirs.

Negative experiences usually cause internal emotional hurt and/or pain and we all deal with these kinds of experiences differently. Some act out aggressively to release it, some internalize and act out passive aggressively and some bottle it up. The best way to heal is to acknowledge the hurt, allow yourself to feel it so you can make peace with it, learn from it and only then can you truly move forward and release it.

Negative experiences can sometimes stall you in life and paralyze you from moving forward, keeping you in that time to remember it over and over again. Knowing and doing better because of it frees you.

I’ve made my own mistakes, I learned from most of them, sometimes I had to make them twice to learn but “when you know better, you do better”. I certainly don’t make the same mistakes anymore because now I know better and what I’ve now learned to consider is that maybe those who have caused me hurt in the past were acting out of their own pain. Embracing this philosophy has given me a heightened sense of awareness into myself and others and has shown me another level of the “judgement” lesson, I don’t think any of us ever have it all figured out. This “aha” realization has taught me the deeper meaning of empathy and its connection to all of our emotional challenges but in this case specifically judgement, which has allowed me to further my trust that the Universe takes care of us all in relation to the life we live and the seeds we sow.

when-you-know-better-you-do-better

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in Blog

 

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Getting to Know YOU!

12 Mar

Breaking Down Your Own Walls to Discover the Person Within!

If you take the time to learn about those you aspire to know or spend time with why is it that you don’t take the time to love and learn about yourself? 

Peeling back the layers to find, understand, nurture and inspire the spirit within is an essential part of Self-Care that affects all aspects of your Self Influenced Behaviours.

Self-Image – How do you see yourself?

  • Whether you realize it or not, how you really see yourself is what you project to the world, if you are happy or unhappy others will see it and sometimes feel it.  We all have a distinctive energy around us that can either feel warm, cold or some variation in between and it either attracts or deters those who come near.  Even if you have a protective armor or wall around you that is preventing others from getting in and hurting you, remember it is also keeping them out and preventing them from knowing the real you.

Self-Pride – Where have you set the bar?

  • Your approach to everything in life will be affected by how much value you place on your personal ethics.  You know where your strengths and weaknesses are, continuous improvement of self feeds and nourishes your self-pride which in turn builds confidence, that confidence is characterized by your personal belief that you are limited by nothing and open to everything.

Self-Respect – What are your boundaries?

  • The big question here is how many liberties are you willing to give others in their desire to take what they can from you without giving anything back?  Boundaries aren’t just to let others know how far they can push you but to let everyone know how much you value yourself.  In the past I have allowed my boundaries to be stretched beyond what felt comfortable for me because saying no felt like I was hurting someone’s feelings but what felt worse was knowing that I was compromising my boundaries and teaching that person that taking advantage of me was Ok.

Self-Reflection – Why do you do the things you do?

  • Reflection is your best source for tapping in to who you once were at a time when you liked yourself and it is possible to find your way back to those thoughts, behaviours and boundaries that defined and shaped your life then.  Through self-reflection I have discovered many things I hadn’t realized or been tuned into at the time which has brought me a greater sense of awareness.  Awareness only transpires when you keep your heart and mind open, the hunger to learn and evolve is the wind beneath that carries you into this phase.  Often the reason for self-reflection is out of necessity because somewhere along the way you know you’ve gone off course.  Sometimes so far that anything other than where you currently are is better than continuing in what you know is the wrong direction, backtracking helps you to identify where you’ve made a wrong turn so you can find your way onto a path that is more positive for you.

We are each a small part of the universal source, interconnected on some level or altered state of consciousness.  We aren’t always in that altered state of consciousness but through it we experience a heightened sense of awareness towards ourselves and others.  Taking the time to step outside yourself every once in a while can help you to gain clarity when times are difficult and provide you with insight when your prospects seem skewed.

Self-Sabotage – Who are you trying to ruin?

  • Sometimes immersing yourself in negative familiarity is more counter-productive then you realize because while you may feel you are progressing forward you are actually suspending your evolution.  Stepping into or maintaining such familiarity may seem easier than addressing the root of a personal issue and then again sometimes you don’t realize there is a personal issue to address because your conscious mind is providing you with enough distraction to hide from facing what may be overwhelming and/or painful.

When you allow your past to have life in your present it’s like carrying a backpack around with you 24 hours a day that contains everything you haven’t dealt with and you bring it into every interaction and relationship.  You may not actually be showing others the contents but the unresolved issues are displayed within every action and reaction.  You can’t change your past, you can only learn, heal and grow past that which has challenged and changed you.

Take notice of how certain events and circumstances affect you, be mindful of how you cope, whether it is an internal or external reaction and remember Self-Care for yourself is necessary!  Breaking down your own walls to get to really know and understand the person within will positively enhance all areas of your life and help you to shape a future that benefits not just you but everyone around you.

self care

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Blog

 

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You Have the Power

05 Mar

To Change your Story

The life you live is your choice, Always! 

If your life is not the way you like it you can change it, there are always options and the only reason you may feel trapped at times is because you won’t allow yourself to see those options.  There are always obstacles in life to overcome to reach the desired destination but it is your choice as to whether you are going to let those options stand in your way or if you are going to find an alternate route around them.  If you give up and quit, that is because you have made the conscious decision that you are not going to succeed but it isn’t the obstacles that prevented you from moving forward it was you!

Story, Wooden peg and colorful words series on rope

Obstacles are on your path to challenge and teach you that anything worth having is worth fighting for and to help build who you are to become.  Stepping outside your comfort zone is where your biggest opportunities lie and it’s not that you are going to be successful with everything you try but taking a chance will build your self-worth and not taking the chance will lower it.  I have personally found that even if the road I’ve travelled doesn’t pan out I feel pride because at least I tried it.  Regret, in my opinion, sucks the life out of your self-worth, self-pride and self-respect and will continue to drain that part of your psyche until you let go and resolve to move forward with a life plan that better builds you.

I’ve taken chances and risks to walk on many different paths in the effort to find the one that is truly my own and I don’t believe I’m done yet.  There always seems to be another level even higher than the last that I need to reach for next and every step I take leads me to new discoveries, sometimes daily.  Discoveries that tantalize and inspire my inner creativity with insight into new and exciting prospects, prospects I hadn’t even considered.  Letting go of fear is your only option for moving forward, fear can be paralyzing and it lives only in your mind, it’s not an actual circumstance.  Danger and extreme peril, both are actual circumstances that can evolve to exist but fear is a component of the mind, created by the mind.

When you become stuck it is because there is something in your emotion (usually fear) that is continuing to cycle and reminding you that you can’t get there from here but really you can, you just have to find another route.

Just because you’ve fallen down doesn’t mean you stay there, the only reason you are unable to see a way out or up is because your vision is clouded but it can and will clear if you want and allow it to.  Letting go of the fear to take a chance is the single most important step you need to take to move in the direction you seek, if you don’t know the direction look within, all the answers you will ever need are in there. 

If your story is not going the way you want you may have quieted your instincts so much that they are barely an audible whisper but the more you allow them to have a voice the louder they will get.  Your instincts, intuition, inner voice, however you want to refer to it will never guide you to a place that isn’t necessary for your personal growth but you are not meant to get stuck there.

I absolutely love Jane Fonda’s analogy of this kind of emotional challenge, I can’t quote it verbatim but it is somewhere along these lines; every time you exercise you create little miniscule tears in the muscle (that sore, tired feeling after exercise, like you really worked out), these tears heal quite quickly and become stronger and so muscle grows.  This is like the emotional challenges, they make little tears in our emotion and we heal and become stronger because of the experience, it’s not that we are broken but rather broken open and the opportunity for positive change and new beginnings can be the result of that experience if you don’t allow it to define you.

We all deserve to live the life we hope for and envision and there is no such thing as too late or too old.  You know your heart and inner spirit better than anyone and you know when you are going against it because inner war is the result, that conflict creates negativity that can spiral into dark areas that can damage you significantly, sometimes altering you into an entirely different person.  I do believe that everything happens for a reason and even though negative experiences are needed for growth, as are positive, they can sometimes create a tornado effect within you and the only way to stop it is to take away its wind.

Take back your power, surround yourself with people that build and inspire you, live and breathe positive thinking and change your story!

what if

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2014 in Blog

 

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The Universe Knows More Than I

06 Feb

Resistance is Futile!

There is no point in challenging the Universe!  I have learned to accept this because the Universe knows more than I do about what is on the horizon and my life always adjusts accordingly, my resistance is futile!

Change happens and how well the transition goes depends on how well I adapt to it and how willing I am to accept it.  One thing I’ve noticed, for myself especially, is that change is just about to happen when I feel like I’m at a low point.  Like the calm before the storm, it’s that quieter moment when it feels like nothing is happening or is going to happen and then all of a sudden it does and how I respond determines how many opportunities arise as a result.

lion,change quote

If I resist, then the amount of opportunities diminish, not for any other reason than my resistance has squelched the momentum.  They are called opportunities because they require your call to action; some of them are fleeting moments and you need to act right away and some hang around available for a longer period of time.  I’ve found that the bigger opportunities involve bigger risks and by risks I mean vulnerability, when I’m scared of that moment I’ve found it’s usually a big opportunity and one that advances me much farther in my personal development and goals.

If I embrace, then more opportunities arise because I am keeping the momentum on an upward swing and embracing is a positive responsive action, positive actions create positive results, always!  Opportunities have a way of expanding if you give them the room to grow and evolve and the more room you give them the wider the spectrum becomes which equals more options.  The more options I have or create for myself the easier my life becomes.  Without options I feel stifled and trapped, unable to have the room to breathe that I need and that feeling prevents other options from arising, it can also manifest in other ways through physical or emotional well-being.

Learn how to inspire yourself when needed, not every day is a fantastic day, down time is essential to keep life balanced but finding the things that can change how your day is going in a positive way when you most need it is an important skill to develop.

Learn to recognize when change is on the horizon for you, what it feels like, how it affects you and how to utilize all the positive aspects to increase your opportunities. 

–          Be aware but don’t be afraid.

–          Take chances but know your limitations.

–          Be realistic but believe in your dreams.

Always know that you can do anything you want as long as your heart and mind are truly in it.  The only person that ever stands in your way is you, not the Universe.

The Universe supports your path even if you haven’t yet realized which path that is, it will constantly lead and inspire you to move in that direction.

trust the universe

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2014 in Blog

 

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