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Putting On Your Poker Face

14 Aug

Or Calling Your Own Bluff?

We all have our own ideas when it comes to our expectations in all areas of our lives.  I know I’ve made decisions (good and bad) based on my own expectations of others and emotional feelings but the bigger questions to ask myself are:

  1. Do I hold myself to that same level of expectation?
  2. If I fail to meet that expection do I hold myself accountable or do I justify it?
  3. Am I open and willing to honestly find resolution or peace?

I think that only those closely involved in my life could answer the first question for me, I believe I do, but then again I’m not on the other side of that expectation.

I do tend to disect situations and events down to the very last detail, that is just who I am.  When it comes to evaluating things I don’t like to leave any question unanswered, or any theory unexplored, which can at times lead to frustration for those participating in the conversation of evaluation.

I have gone down the road of justifying a bad decision, one of the most significant reasons being that I had been too stubborn to find a middle ground and the other because the emotional hurt felt like it was at such a high level that finding middle ground seemed near impossible.  I don’t think anyone is mistake free, I know I’m not, but self-reflection in this area is a great opportunity to learn the capacity of your own character and integrity.  To find out what you are really made of and whether or not you have the courage to look in the mirror and take ownership for how you’ve done so far.

In failing to meet that same expectation and going down the road of justifying it, the opportunity to turn it around and make it positive lies within acknowledging your own part and sincerely trying to find resolution or peace.  How each individual finds their resolution or peace will be a process that is unique only to them but I think the main thing, is to be true to who you are deep down and know that any action conflicting with that is ultimately harmful to you the most.  I believe that if you go against the grain of your own spirit it will be such an inner conflict that problems will arise, whether that manifests itself physically, emotionally or both.

I can’t say that all physical issues “I don’t have the credentials”, but I believe that most arise because somewhere within we are causing ourselves an emotional distress that creates the physical manifestation in our health.  This does not mean that once you dissolve the emotional distress that the physical issue will go away, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.  I think that depends on how far along the physical issue has progressed.  Once an emotional issue manifests to physical in your body it may take a lot longer to make it go away.  The time it has taken to manifest physically and how long it has carried out for will determine how far the roots of it extend and it may take A LOT of hard work to try to overcome it.

In my case the physical health issue I had experienced, which was created from an emotional issue, manifested in the form of stress, and stress can cause a variety of mock symptoms for various health issues, and luckily mine disappeared when I resolved the stress.

Regardless of how emotional or physical issues manifest within us self-reflection is always a positive step in the right direction, which may turn out to be the first step in changing your well-being for the better.  When you are willing to look in the mirror and measure your progress by the same level of expectation that you have of others you are choosing to build yourself positively.

Sometimes our own expectations of resolution cannot be found, sometimes the olive branch extended is not accepted, sometimes bridges burned cannot be repaired or reconstructed, sometimes the resolution is accepting the lesson, learning from it for the future and moving forward.

I do believe that there isn’t an issue out there that can’t be resolved, however it does take a significant amount of honesty, sincerity and willingness to find resolution.  Things may not ever be the same but they could end up being better, anything is possible!

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2012 in Blog

 

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Things Aren’t Always What You Think

07 Aug

Are your Signs Getting Through?

Sometimes the signs aren’t always what we expect, or even how we expect them to materialize in front of us.  Sometimes the strangest occurrence is what makes the most sense later and I’ve always found that to be so odd when it happens to me. 

Some of the biggest challenges I’ve had seemed so senseless at the beginning but have turned out to be the most valuable lessons and not one of them materialized in the form even close to what I had envisioned.  I believe the signs we receive are much like the old tale that everyone repeats about finding love.  It comes when you least expect it and it’s not at all what you had in your mind.

I think that sometimes the signs are repeated through various forms until we recognize them for what they are supposed to signify to us.  I’ve recognized that when it finally clicks for me in that moment and the sign (whichever way it came in this time) finally made it through to that part of me that says “aha!”.  I then realize and remember the previous times it came through and I didn’t catch it because it was either too subtle for me or I wasn’t open to receiving it in that way.

I think the biggest sign is the “pay attention now” sign that the universe supplies to us when we don’t listen or just can’t seem to get it.  It’s like a slap upside the head (metaphorically) that is meant to jerk you back to reality.  Depending where you are at in that moment could determine the severity of this sign but I believe it comes at a time when you are about to make a very bad decision that could be either severely disastrous or fatal.  Hopefully at that point you realize what has been staring you in the face all along because if you don’t this will continue to happen and that slap gets stronger and stronger until you become aware.  It’s better to notice much sooner than later, I’ve had a lesson repeat and it’s not fun, second time around was much more difficult than if I’d learned it right the first time.  Given the extent of the downtime for experiencing the lesson a second time around, I’m so glad I didn’t head for the third. 

If you are running into a same issue or difficulty on a repeated basis within your life then you may be in this cycle.  Experiencing the same thing over was a big eye opener for me that ignoring something doesn’t make it go away quietly, it just hides it for a while, only to resurface until you find resolution and/or closure.  The outcome of that resolution or closure is something that will be a personal and reflective process specific to each of us and I believe we all go through it at one time or another in our life.

I do believe that “everything happens for a reason” and if I was meant to go through a specific lesson more than once then I believe it’s because it was necessary to my personal growth and development and would aid me later in life, that is my faith and what helps me to look at these lessons in a more positive and productive light.

I don’t have an “aha” moment every day but I’ve had more than one in my life so far and they are such monumental moments that I view them as blessings.  Blessings I hope for, look forward to, welcome openly and appreciate.

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2012 in Blog

 

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Your Life, Your Choice!

31 Jul

Every Move Counts

We all make choices in our lives every day, some are good choices, some are bad choices, the question is, are they the right choices for you?  Are you being true to the person you know you are inside, and where you envision your life to be going?

We all have positive and negative experiences but I do not believe that the experience itself is the downfall or a valid reason to hold anyone other than ourselves responsible for where we progress or don’t progress to. 

All choices, good or bad, are ours to make, which makes us, the individual, the sole person responsible for where things go from there.  I do believe that we have events, occurrences and situations that help to shape and teach us.  Everything happens for a reason and I believe the opportunity that lies within each challenge or blessing is to create an awareness that we had not yet grown into until that time. 

I’ve had the opportunity to observe many different personalities in my life so far and I know that there are many more out there that have yet to cross my path.  Some of these people I thoroughly enjoyed and some not so much, but all of them have had an impact and brought about a greater awareness for me,  some in areas I hadn’t really explored, and some I wasn’t yet aware of.  I have learned some very valuable aspects of life from very specific people, ones I really don’t think I could do well without.  Regardless of the lessons, challenges or blessings I have experienced so far, the outcome and how I perceive things from then on, whether I’m stuck in a good or bad mindset is mine alone.

I’ve come across some very inspiring individuals that have blown me away emotionally because at the core they are truly beautiful, in ways that has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the physical.

I have come across others that are the polar opposite and fully believe that life and society has failed them, owes them and they are not responsible for any of the bad circumstances or choices that have plagued their lives.

There are various degrees of both of these drastic and opposite personalities but the one thread that seems common to me is that regardless of the challenge we all have the choice to let it inhibit us from personal growth and happiness or let it help us to flourish and experience a better and more meaningful existence.

  • Are you making the right choices for you and being true to your conscious and sub-conscious self?
  • Are you making the right choices for where you see yourself 5, 10, 15 or 20 years down the road?
  • Are you making the right choices for a personal happiness plan ( PHP ) that is in better alignment with who you really are within?
  • Are you making the choices that don’t leave you with regrets when closing in on the last chapter of your life?

I think we’ve all had our moments of making good and bad choices, it’s how we handle them from there that defines us.

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2012 in Blog

 

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The Road Ahead

24 Jul

Navigating Through Life

How has your road trip been so far?  Have you been able to negotiate the twists and turns?

I’ve heard the comparison of a road map as a reference to our own lives and I can relate.

These are my analogies to travelling the road of life:

–          Construction Zones (A Reminder of Patience – Don’t sweat the small stuff)

–          Soft Shoulders (Sugar Coating Communications – Tell them how you really feel)

–          Yield ( Respecting other’s Opinions & Feelings – We are unique, we all don’t think alike) 

–          Do Not Enter (Crossing Boundaries – know when to walk away)

–          One Way Street (Negative Thinking – Not every obstacle is as big as it seems)

–          Fork in the Road ( Making a Decision – choosing the path that’s right for You)

–          Gravel or Dirt Road (A New Lesson to Learn – Could be a long or short distance, depends on You)

–          Wrong Turn (You’ve Stepped Off your Path – A mistake)

–          Gridlock (Unable to Find Compromise – Only time will reveal)

–          Bridge is Out (Forgive and Forget – Not all mistakes can be repaired, time to move forward)

–          The Runaway Lane (Not Learning a Lesson – Our ego thinking it knows better)

–          Rest Stops (Regaining your Strength – Finding your personal power)

–          Hitchhikers (The People We Allow Into our Life – Positive or Negative)

–          Detours (A New Direction Not Considered – Relying on your gut instincts)

–          The High Road (Don’t Compromise your Integrity – Don’t lower yourself to someone else’s level)

–          All Green Lights (Positive Thinking, natural flow of the Universe)

Some of the various roadblocks that come up in our lives are there for a reason, some are a result of choices made (good or bad), some are there to teach us so we can learn and grow, some are there to serve solely as a “déjà vu” reminder to keep us from straying too far from the main road.

Most of these turns, bumps and challenges are in place to keep us on the straight and narrow, although sometimes we get off course, take a wrong turn and end up on the wrong end of a one-way street. 

  • Sometimes we get ourselves so far off course that our GPS is continually “re-calculating”.
  • Sometimes you end up having to make a complete U-Turn and go back to where you started.
  • Sometimes, you just can’t get there from here!

Not every road leads to a better life but all roads provide us with an opportunity for personal growth.  Along the way we can find great friends, love, passion, purpose and a greater understanding for how impactful positive thinking can be.

The Universe knows where we should be going but we have our own free will to ultimately decide.

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Blog

 

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We Are Who We Are!

17 Jul

Don’t Let Anyone Else’s Opinion Define Who You Are

I used to be very aware and very conscious of what others opinions were of me, a little too conscious of it actually, and at times I still am, but I’ve realized that those opinions do not define me.  It’s those closest to me that really know who I am and it is their opinions and advice that have the biggest impact.  I can’t control every comment or opinion that comes my way but I can choose to not allow it to affect me negatively or to change my life direction.

No matter what the circumstances or environment we all have the choice to live either positively or negatively.  I choose positive and happy over negative and unhappy easily every time.  I know that is very easy to say but can be very difficult to do for some.  I’ve always had a positive outlook on life and I’ve always been very motivated, driven and impatient to get to the next phase.

Although it’s the “in between” where the tests, challenges and lessons that come our way are meant to teach, to build and to shape us into who we are meant to be. 

Challenges don’t just reveal character they build it.

I believe that each milestone of our age we can discover many things:

1)      A new understanding to old problems

2)      A greater focus on the bigger picture

3)      A more direct approach in life

4)      Less concern with quantity, more quality

5)      Deeper form of Contentment, Balance and Peace

 

I always used to think that I needed to get everything I wanted done when I was younger and now that I’m a little older I see the insignificance of that belief.  It’s just not my focus anymore and there are so many other things that I’ve developed an appreciation for that I never would have thought possible.

I spent my 20’s playing around, doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted.

I spent my 30’s trying to get my grounding and figure out where I was going, who I was.

I’m now in my 40’s and have found that all the things I was concerned with in my 20’s and 30’s seem so irrelevant now.  I’ve learned that my greater focus is on achieving all the levels of Contentment and enjoying all the great people in my life.  I’m looking forward to the many more impactful people I will encounter as I go along my path.  I always hear from others that have experienced more life than myself about how much better it gets as we get older and seeing how content they are encourages me to look forward to it.

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2012 in Blog

 

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Trusting in the Divine

10 Jul

Having Faith in What is Meant To Be

What a tough one this really is, especially for me because I am a planner, I like to know what’s coming down the road.  Even though I know that what is meant to be, will be, no matter what, it’s still difficult at times to trust in that faith.  I like change, I like the variety and I only like routine in specific areas of my life.  Unfortunately having such distinct and particular ideas can make acceptance and trust hard to manage and something I still work at to this day.  I have found that Wayne Dyers’ quote of “change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” has been significantly helpful when I remember to remind myself.  Please click on the link I’ve just attached to view his you tube video, he is an irreplacable source of wisdom.  When I’m in a state of being that is blocking my positive energy I find that sometimes I can’t summon the thoughts to carry me out of it.

My two biggest detractors have been trust and faith that what is meant to be, will be, no matter what.  My resistance to this, for whatever reason, will not change anything except to prevent me from finding resolution and peace sooner rather than later.  In resisting I cause myself to stay in that state for longer and there is absolutely no benefit.  I need to continually remind myself to let go, trust, have faith and stop trying to steer the course that is all part of the divine plan, a plan that I don’t know the outcome of.  The moment I remind myself of this quote is the moment that everything shifts into the perspective it should have been in all along.  I don’t think I could really explain it further, it’s something that you need to embrace to experience and something you can’t experience unless you embrace it.

When I do embrace it and accept that “everything happens for a reason” I find that things don’t seem to have as much power over me anymore.  It’s not that it’s no longer important it’s just that I’m reducing the impact it has on my life by changing the way I’m looking at it and in doing that what I’m looking at changes.  It’s amazing how one little alteration of perception can change so many things, like mood, disposition, attitude and outlook.  This could be the difference that determines what direction your life goes in.

As much as I inherently know all of this it really is a “work in progress” to apply it to my life, especially when I allow my emotions to overrule my mind.  I think it depends on where we are at physically, emotionally and mentally as to if certain circumstances are given more power than they should be at certain times in our lives.  We’re not expected to be strong and resilient every single day, sometimes things can get to you and my reminder phrase when they do is such a powerful tool to have with me.

I don’t believe that there is any one person that has all the answers we can only hope to learn from one another or through shared experiences.

I have to allow myself to let go and trust in the higher power that I have faith to, and know that regardless of whether or not I like or dislike a situation that it is there to teach me something and in time that reason will be revealed as long as I have faith.  Allowing that faith doesn’t mean I’m giving in or giving up it means I’m letting go of what was to allow what is.

Sometimes when you’re looking for answers, letting go is the only way to find it.

 
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Posted by on July 10, 2012 in Blog

 

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In Your Life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime

03 Jul

Determining Who’s What and Why

Some people aren’t meant to be with you throughout your entire journey and sometimes there is no other option but to let them go.  It’s difficult letting go when there is a part of you that feels attached or obligated, for whatever reason, which then causes a feeling of guilt or that you are  giving up.  When they become too toxic to your environment you really have no choice and ultimately it’s necessary for your own well-being, especially if they are draining your good energy and feeding you negativity in return.

Reason:  Some are meant to challenge us in ways we could have never thought imaginable or necessary but ultimately there is something significant to learn but it is a quick visit and once the challenge is met and the lesson is learned it’s then time to move on.

Season:  Some are meant to teach us many lessons to help us learn about aspects of ourselves that we might not have realized without their specific involvement and to help us grow to the next few levels.  These people are more difficult to let go of because they have become a significant part of our lives and have helped us to transition through a phase that has created personal growth.  Any time I have experienced personal growth there is usually someone that has been a significant helper for me through this and I ultimately develop a unique connection to them.

Lifetime:  The Lifetimer’s are those that are there to support, love and walk with us through the difficult, sad and happy times, something that is a shared experience between  both.  There is neither a giver nor a taker in this relationship but rather an equal and positive exchange.

I’ve had the experiences of all of these and I’ve found that the “Seasons” are definitely the hardest to let go of because there is a part of them that will always be with me, that I will remember, but in trying to hang on when it’s time to move on could make the goodbye uglier than it needs to be. 

There are those that can become so important to us that we don’t want to let go and sometimes it’s not letting go of them but rather letting them be. 

I believe that sometimes the Seasons could be intended to come back into our lives for another phase and it’s the previous connection that creates this alignment.  Maybe they needed something that couldn’t be achieved by being connected to you at this time and after a period they come back and create a stronger connection then you thought possible or expected because even though they were your season, you may not have been meant to be theirs.  Although if the goodbye was more harmful then it needed to be at the time then the opportunity for the next phase or perhaps now becoming a Lifetimer could be altered forever.

I have some really fabulous Lifetimer’s that I don’t think I could express my gratitude for strongly enough of how lucky I am to have them walk with me and allow me to walk with them.

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2012 in Blog

 

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Ingredients for Life!

26 Jun

Life Equals Pie

I was given a fabulous concept from a very good friend of mine for a great topic this week!  The concept is creating an analogy between our life journeys and a favorite dessert and all the ingredients and layers create our own recipe for personal success, whatever that may be.

Much like the ingredients in any dessert, depending on which one you choose, there are usually layers and levels of design.  I’ve chosen Banana Cream Pie because it would contain a good level of ingredients to create this analogy.

Banana Cream Pie:

  • 3 cups of Love
  • 2 cups of Integrity
  • 2 cups of Pride
  • 1 cup of Self-Respect
  • 1 cup of Respect for others
  • 1 cup of Positive Attitude
  • ½ cup of Compassion
  • ½ cup of Empathy
  • 3 tablespoons of Confidence
  • 3 tablespoons of Determination
  • 3 tablespoons of Courage
  • A dash of Assertiveness
  • 12 ounces of water for personal wellness

Frosting:   The Law of Attraction

  • 1 cup of Intention
  • 1 cup of Faith
  • 1 cup of Appreciation
  • 1 cup of Gratitude

Directions:

Mix all ingredients together until they are well blended and you are feeling content.  I was going to add an ingredient to enhance humility but I believe that the emotion of remaining humble would be experienced as a result of living life through Banana Cream Pie.

Serve it to anyone and everyone you so desire and utilize the ingredients to your fullest potential.

I realize that the amounts of all the ingredients I have contained in this recipe are quite excessive but it is a global pie meant to feed the souls of as many as possible.  The frosting is also excessive but it is the Law of Attraction, and that’s exactly where you want to get really excessive in your vision and life.  You will attract exactly what you think and believe!

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2012 in Blog

 

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Life’s Lessons!

19 Jun

Discovering the Silver Lining

We all have many lessons to learn throughout our lifetime and of course the lessons are different for every one of us.  No two people are alike, therefore no two lessons will be alike, there may be similarities but they are uniquely designed for each of us.  How we experience them depends on many factors, for instance below are what I believe are the factors I needed to allow myself to move forward in my life towards my purpose and passion.

1)      I had to be Open

–          If my mind and heart were not open I would not be in an available space of mind to be able to receive the signs and guidance I was given.  Not everything comes in the package we expect and sometimes we have to expand our awareness to understand.

 

2)      I had to be in Alignment ( Law of Attraction )

–          To be in alignment with the  universe and all that it has to offer I had to be in a positive state of mind.  What you think of is what you attract, if I was in a negative state of mind I would attract everything that I don’t want because those would be the dominant thoughts.

3)      I had to be Aware

–          The bigger picture is my goal and where I want to get to.  Along the way are just the daily routines and obstacles that I could not afford  let bother or impede me and keep my eye on the prize.

 

4)      I had to be Objective

–          I had to work very hard to learn to be objective when reflecting on my experiences, it can be very difficult to step outside yourself and look at a situation objectively when you are emotionally connected. 

How we perceive the signs, guidance and lessons we are given is something that is specifically hard-wired to each of us as individuals, the ultimate key is to be open within your mind and your heart and let your imagination flow.

I believe that everything that we experience is divinely connected to a higher power and that there is a master plan only we are not aware of it.  I say this because in looking back I’ve found that I needed all the experiences I’ve had up to this point to get to where I am now, without them I may not have gone in the direction I am going or it may have taken much longer than it already has.  My experiences have helped to prepare me for the future I am meant to live and I know it doesn’t stop here, there are many more experiences that I’m sure are on the horizon (good and bad) that will help elevate me to the level I need to be at to make the contribution in this world that I want to make and that I am meant to make. 

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2012 in Blog

 

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The Brighter Side of Life!

12 Jun

The Golden / Unwritten Rules

I have always felt a strong connection to my belief of what the “golden rules” represent and I’ve found that when I stay inside those boundaries I am providing myself with the benefit of a clear conscience and an enlightened heart.  I refer to them as the golden or unwritten rules and they are very significant and present in all that I think and do. 

 

They aren’t actual rules that are in place in print somewhere but the unwritten intention that separates right from wrong for me and for many of us.  They are my “voice of reason” as well as my “moral compass” on how I want to project myself to others and hopefully what I receive from others in return.  The biblical saying “do unto others as you would have them do to you” is the most significant way to portray this.

What I list below are my “golden rules” and as I’ve said there is no actual list written and every individual has their own specific life rules that they live by, individually fitting to each.  Generally though I’ve found that most people I’ve come across have a similar focus with little variation.

My Golden / Unwritten Rules

1)      Respect

2)      Honesty

3)      Loyalty

4)      Support

5)      Presence

There are so many personal rewards within when you stay in tune with your true self and your personal place in this world.  It is never too late to do or change anything that doesn’t fit in with your own individual happiness.  I believe that there isn’t anything that can’t be resolved or corrected when respect and honesty are present.

I’ve found that by living within these “golden rules” I have allowed myself a stronger sense of passion and purpose, and a greater opportunity to connect with those I come into contact with on a deeper level.  I don’t know if I can it express it clearly enough except to say that when I’ve made a deeper level connection with someone it’s something I’ve noticed within, a sense or feeling.  It’s these specific kind of connections that attach our spirits to those we develop them with and these connections are to be treasured and cared for.

Don’t forget to acknowledge and appreciate those that you hold dear in your circle, treat them with kindness and if not the same as my list, your own specific list, but stay true to yourself, who you are and how you want to be treated in return. 

Living positive is my successful way of life!

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Blog

 

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